What happens if you try to be another type? (Mistyping)

Disclaimers:
I'm fairly new to the site, so if this topic has been covered elsewhere please send me a link.
I'm writing this with a starting assumption that type is inherent, which seems to be the general consensus in what I've read.

My personal reasons for asking:
I have a particular curiosity because of my own personal development and life stage;

When I was young I was a certain way. When I became a teenager I modified my behaviour to some degree to try to please my mother (way more there that I won't get into here, but more than just the 'want to be a good girl' situation). Through that time I typed a certain way on school tests and online tests for MBTI (note that I've never had a thorough MBTI one-on-one analysis, though some of these were administered to a class of students by someone with some training).

In my late 20's I found myself looking around and thinking 'I have a great career, I make good money, I have all the things I wanted out of life.. but I don't feel fulfilled'. My work looked great on paper but I felt like I there was little value in it. I wasn't sleeping, was drinking too much and was horribly stressed (despite many prior stresses in my life being gone), and as I started exploring that more I started reconnecting with things I'd done as a child. And then I started feeling more authentic, sleeping, needing to self-medicate less... and I did some more online MBTI tests and interesting I was consistently typing differently.

Now I know the online tests don't mean much - but so far other tests I take (like the CareerStrength test and others) as well as looking at cognitive functions (which I'm still just learning) seem to support the 'new' typing. It also seems to fit with what I know of the 'young me'.

Finally on to my actual questions....
From a more scientific/knowledgeable standpoint - what would or should happen to a person if they spent the better part of their life trying to be something other than their inherent type, for whatever reason? (I'd think someone who is out of touch with their type and living based on external expectations of society, etc would be in the same boat).



~ If this is what happened to me I can vouch for feeling stressed and unfulfilled as an adult, feeling like you 'should be happy' on an intellectual level but not 'feeling' that way inside. To be honest the reason I've ended up here is all the career books that I've been reading discuss trying to work/live in line with your values, authentic self, or MBTI (in the case of 'Do what you are').
~ How might you feel toward your true type (at my 'peak' I think I sort of looked down on the type I most relate to now, at various times I've ignored, vilified, or envied that type)
~ Would this cause or contribute to self-esteem issues?
~ Would this lead to over-development of your lesser functions? Under-development of what should be your primary functions?
~ Are there any studies on this sort of thing - any psychological things tied into it?
~ How much of who we are is inherent vs. who we 'want' to be? Obviously the other explanation in my situation is that I was stressed and unhappy for other reasons and now seek a different type because I've idealized it in my mind. How can one know?

I'm interested in both the global truth of these questions and also specifics on a personal level. If anyone has thoughts, theories, or evidence please post here. If anyone wishes to psychoanalyze me send a PM. I welcome any thoughts on determining my own true type so feel free to comment on that, but this thread is also hopefully something interesting to others - so feel free to post your own experiences!

~ Boots ~

I relate to you significantly, even though our circumstances and positions were different. I was forced by my dad's alcoholism and my mom's disease to become something wholly different than I was as a child. I don't really have any advice or anything as I'm still trying to figure my 'true' type out. I've also reached a point where I feel I can keep developing as my altered type, or try and revert to what I was before everything happened. All I can say is yes, it causes extreme inner confliction and stress.

I imagine it's something like this.

You die inside. Slowly .

Originally Posted by Boots

Disclaimers:
I'm fairly new to the site, so if this topic has been covered elsewhere please send me a link.
I'm writing this with a starting assumption that type is inherent, which seems to be the general consensus in what I've read.

My personal reasons for asking:
I have a particular curiosity because of my own personal development and life stage;

When I was young I was a certain way. When I became a teenager I modified my behaviour to some degree to try to please my mother (way more there that I won't get into here, but more than just the 'want to be a good girl' situation). Through that time I typed a certain way on school tests and online tests for MBTI (note that I've never had a thorough MBTI one-on-one analysis, though some of these were administered to a class of students by someone with some training).

Your story is quite familiar. I've never had the test done but I wouldn't be surprised if I came out as INTJ in later elementary and high school. People who've only seen me under stress seem to think I'm something I'm actually now and I feel like I've been conforming to those views forever. The only freedom I've ever felt to be myself is before I started grade 3-4 and after high school when I got to leave home. I was forced into the "good girl" role too (as if I wasn't already) so I relate to what you're saying quite strongly. In my early school days certainly INTJ (or whichever types have Se as inferior because of their attitude against any form of pleasure, physical or emotional) would be the ideal type of every student if the school had their way, but a negative form of course since it was a rather authoritarian catholic school. I had quite a few issues with the teachers or should I say the other way around for just being myself. How well would an ESFP do in the military or similar environment? I'm guessing not too well.

Originally Posted by Boots

In my late 20's I found myself looking around and thinking 'I have a great career, I make good money, I have all the things I wanted out of life.. but I don't feel fulfilled'. My work looked great on paper but I felt like I there was little value in it. I wasn't sleeping, was drinking too much and was horribly stressed (despite many prior stresses in my life being gone), and as I started exploring that more I started reconnecting with things I'd done as a child. And then I started feeling more authentic, sleeping, needing to self-medicate less... and I did some more online MBTI tests and interesting I was consistently typing differently.

Except the career part, replace that with health issues and then when reconnecting to the real world outside myself and restoring my health to the point where I could mentally and physically function and while fixing some issues I accidentally came across a blurb about Enneagram types and how they deal with suffering. It snowballed from there when I started realizing that what I wanted and my own motivations were quite different from what I was forced into. The hardest part right now is convincing the therapists about who I really am vs what they have seen in the last couple of years before I started exploring myself and trying to figure out my own needs. I started to feel a lot more authentic with reduced stress and trying to get to the me I had lost a long time ago. I at first typed as INTP every single time with a very weak T but now I'm always getting ESFP. If you're familiar with the stereotypes of an ESFP you probably understand why I initially was sceptical and certainly didn't wish to be one, nor do I right now because of all the trash talk and comparisons to the Homer Simpsons and Peter Griffins of the world. So I know it's not a matter of wishing I was a certain type, I've even done the "What type you wish you were vs real type" quiz and I believe I got ENTJ as my desired type (I can't find the thread at the moment), so make of that what you will, because I'm not even sure of that one myself.

Originally Posted by Boots

Now I know the online tests don't mean much - but so far other tests I take (like the CareerStrength test and others) as well as looking at cognitive functions (which I'm still just learning) seem to support the 'new' typing. It also seems to fit with what I know of the 'young me'.

Yep, same here as well.

Originally Posted by Boots

Finally on to my actual questions....
From a more scientific/knowledgeable standpoint - what would or should happen to a person if they spent the better part of their life trying to be something other than their inherent type, for whatever reason? (I'd think someone who is out of touch with their type and living based on external expectations of society, etc would be in the same boat).

~ If this is what happened to me I can vouch for feeling stressed and unfulfilled as an adult, feeling like you 'should be happy' on an intellectual level but not 'feeling' that way inside. To be honest the reason I've ended up here is all the career books that I've been reading discuss trying to work/live in line with your values, authentic self, or MBTI (in the case of 'Do what you are').
~ How might you feel toward your true type (at my 'peak' I think I sort of looked down on the type I most relate to now, at various times I've ignored, vilified, or envied that type)
~ Would this cause or contribute to self-esteem issues?
~ Would this lead to over-development of your lesser functions? Under-development of what should be your primary functions?
~ Are there any studies on this sort of thing - any psychological things tied into it?
~ How much of who we are is inherent vs. who we 'want' to be? Obviously the other explanation in my situation is that I was stressed and unhappy for other reasons and now seek a different type because I've idealized it in my mind. How can one know?

Excellent questions that could certainly be helpful to those of us in the same boat you mentioned.

About how I feel towards true type, I've already covered that one earlier, I think I personally idealize INTxs because they have what I don't and it's not much beyond that really. The stereotypes against xSFPs don't exactly encourage me towards them but it seems to be worse off if you're ESPF (stupid, sluts) more than ISFP (creative, sensitive).

I imagine they would cause self esteem issues in that you aren't being accepted by and large as you actually are and are being forced into a mould that doesn't fit.

I am positive I am ESFP with underdeveloped Se and way overdeveloped Fi. And yes I've read a bit around supporting that theory. If your primary was suppressed then your auxiliary kicks in and so on.

Unfortunately, I've been struggling to find more about this but there isn't a lot out there, the only thing remotely related is types under stress and seeing if you relate to the unhealthy version of which type you really think you are. Maybe we'll have to be part of that solution by talking about our experiences. I did find that if you are forced into a mould you don't fit in it's very likely to cause depression.

Hopefully at least some of this is useful. I'm glad you brought it up since I've been pondering this for a while too now.

I assume that it would make you feel like something in life was missing...

I would suggest that childhood personality (e.g. Kids' Personality Portraits) as well as thinking about things that either are part of you but that you disapprove of or things that are not part of you and that you admire could be two good reference points.

And then there's Jung's and Beebe's theories on archetypes that would seem like useful frames of reference for understanding the dynamics within one's personality. But I don't know enough about that to say more than just this.

I can say it does feel like something's missing. A sense of purpose, but that's my life situation most of the time more than anything.

When I was contacted about a potential party with all the people I used to hang with I was practically bouncing off the walls

Originally Posted by Revy2Hand

I can say it does feel like something's missing. A sense of purpose, but that's my life situation most of the time more than anything.

Ouch... That "lack of purpose" thing resonates a lot with me!

I NEED MORE FE!!!!!

Originally Posted by penchant

Ouch... That "lack of purpose" thing resonates a lot with me!

I NEED MORE FE!!!!!

Well I got some of that, but I got lots of Fi also to spare apparently lol. I'll trade you for some of your Ni

It sounds like you're talking about Prolonged Adaptation Stress Syndrome, and it's not uncommon. In particular, I've found that I have a tendency to try forcing myself into Te because society tends to encourage that and not Ti. I have to put conscious effort into making sure I'm really valuing subjective thinking and not trying to use objective thinking because it's what I "should" be using.