walkawaysun09

Well...today I begun my day by crying and being depressed. I'm sorry Meaky Poo, but I really do take arguments hard...especially when I feel it's my fault and I started them.

The first thing I really heard...to get me out of my room after I went to run some quick errands to the bank and get new body wash (mine fell down, the top fell off/opened and it all went down the drain yesterday and I just fucking bought it), was my mom talking to I think my grandma or someone on the phone...apparently my mom's cousin Pedar and his wife were bad-mouthing me...thinking I beg for money from my grandma. They heard she might be getting the first time homebuyer's tax credit and said "And I bet her grandkids will all be lining up for the money"...I'm not like that...I fucking helped his wife tune her guitar when she got it...I go to their family events when I dislike him and his wife for how they treat the rest of the family by not helping them out...but this really makes me sad...thinking I'm mooching off my grandma, when I rarely, if ever, get anything from her, and never ask...it's usually for helping. It makes me sad.

When I was helping grandma clean out the trailer she's demolishing in a few weeks, my uncle got on my case for not being mechanically inclined...again...since he's always equating his mechanics skills to IQ and intelligence...it really hurts to be called dumb for not knowing how to open a truck tailgate cuz it sticks...and my fingers aren't big and callused like his so it hurts a lot to open the fucking thing...I'm not cut out for some members of my family...they always make me feel like I'm completely insignificant...simply because I was always more into books and videogames and fantasy than fixing trucks and cars.


I dunno, venting this out helped a little....hopefully I don't have to put up with his crap much more since we are almost done with the stupid trailer.