xX.Viktoria.Xx

[U][B][SIZE=1][FONT=Verdana]People && Deformities[/FONT][/SIZE][/B][/U]
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I was watching TheOnion and for some reason decided to look up face transplants. I didn't know that I would stumble across these nightmarish stories. I was expecting something innocent, about some celebrity who, in vanity, decided they wanted a different face. Anything about vanity. Instead, I read these horrible articles that I never wanted to know about.

There was a girl whose husband who had shot her in the face. He shot her from the side of the face directly in the middle. Almost all of the bone structure used to hold her face up had disappeared. I was watching a video of her on youtube after the face transplant, and my first though was 'Wow, she's ugly, goddamn!'. She had saggy chin skin and looked like an old librarian. Then I saw the pictures of her from before. Her nose was missing, and little children would run because they were scared of her. I then felt ashamed for thinking anything bad about people, and it reminded that I should, again, never make judgments before I get to know somebody. Her face was donated from a woman who had died a few hours before, and they were able to reconstruct almost all of it. The family that had known the woman who had died was extremely touched by the before && after pictures.

I also read a similar article about a little girl, about 7-10 years old, in a severe accident that almost killed her. Her mother brought her to the hospital with her face in a plastic bag. A plastic bag. Can you imagine? I looked at some of the pictures of her now and they're still a bit messed up, but nothing that can't be covered with make up. Her eyes weren't exactly even...trying to put it in proportion, it's still pretty bad. I can't even imagine it. I'm so lucky.

I guess I didn't get enough because after that I decided to look up 'hand transplants'. I then read an article about a guy who had lost his legs and arms in war and just recently got transplants. He said the only thing he wanted to do was cook and touch his wife. I was immediately saddened because I realized that cooking, cleaning, and general things he couldn't do I took for granted. To me it was just a task, something that had to be done...I never thought about the other people who didn't have that blessing.

I then saw my reflection in the computer monitor and didn't want to look at my face ever again. I feel this overwhelming amount of guilt because I have a really nice, even, good face and there is other people out there who don't have that blessing. I mean, I can even type this out and do my makeup and all sorts of things these people can't or wouldn't ever want to do. I don't even want to look at my reflection because I am so blessed compared to these people. I am so capable when they have almost nothing. I honestly wanted to start crying on behalf of them. I can't even understand what it must be life to walk around and have people staring at you because your face is fucked up, or because you are missing hands and legs and confined to a wheelchair. It's just not right.

I wish there was something I could do. Something else. I'm already an organ donor, because it's not like I'll be using those organs after I'm gone. I just wish I could save all these broken people. They're so beaten and torn up, and it's so unfair. They have to live with this. This is their life. I just can't past it. I know that the last thing they probably want is sympathy, but I really feel for them. I want to save these people, I want to help them, I want to see just service done. I'll listen to their stories, I'll try to understand where they are coming from, and I want to dedicate my life to helping people recover and live after experiences like these. I just wonder what can be done for the downtrodden.

[/B][/SIZE][/FONT][FONT=Verdana][SIZE=1][I](imported from livejouranl February 11, 2010)
[/I][U][B]-ViktoriaMJ[/B][/U][/SIZE][/FONT]