Commonly held ENFJ Myths!
by, 05-09-2012 at 08:51 AM (922 Views)
[B]ENFJ's are social butterflies and party animals[/B]
Yes, we are social, but social butterflies is definitely not how I would describe ENFJ's. In fact, on the contrary, ENFJ's generally like time away from people in order to organize their thoughts about their new experiences. We like to live for the moment and enjoy pleasure seeking activities, but we need our alone time as well.
[B]ENFJ's are manipulative[/B]
ENFJ's can be manipulative, but so can every other type. ENFJ's like to influence and mentor people because we have natural teacher tendencies. An ENFJ is more likely to try to manipulate an environment for it to become more inclusive and conducive towards people's development rather than selfish gain.
[B]ENFJ's are clingy[/B]
Most people think that ENFJ's are some of the most extroverted people around, and even though it's a close assumption, it also implies that ENFJ's force their company on others. This is actually very untrue. ENFJ's are generally very in-tune with the needs and expectations of other people, and if those needs require the other person to have their space/alone time, then ENFJ's are very much aware of that as well. ENFJ's generally like to stay close to the people they love, but they also know when getting too close may be making another person uncomfortable. If not, then it's better to just tell them.
[B]ENFJ's are incapable of deep/logical thought[/B]
Many people see the inferior Ti and automatically assume that ENFJ's are pretty much incapable of logic. That they don't like maths or physics etc. Actually, that's pretty much bull-crap. ENFJ's process logic through feeling followed by intuition. The logic is there, it's processed and expressed differently. ENFJ's are very capable of logical thought and reasoning --- just that they don't prefer it in many cases. Also, what ENFJ's are good at are making strong logical deductions about people's motives/intentions based on information shared and/or perceived.
[B]ENFJ's are huggers[/B]
ENFJ's prefer emotional connections, but also respect physical boundaries of others as well as their own. In fact, in many of my interactions with ENFJ's, I've actually rarely come across a typical hugger.
[B]ENFJ's are super-organized[/B]
Hah! Organized chaos is more like it. Most ENFJ's are clutter freaks for the most part - it's just that we know exactly where everything is in that clutter ;)
[B]ENFJ's are bound by social rules and act as enforcers[/B]
Umm ... no. Dominant feeling is about processing things through feeling - which also means being in-tune with another person's feelings of feeling imposed upon by an enforcer. ENFJ's don't always bind themselves to social rules and neither do they like to act as enforcers of those social rules until and unless the other person is willing to accept those rules. ENFJ's who are in roles as enforcers can act as enforcers, but that's something every type is capable of doing.
[B]ENFJ's are socially confident and charismatic[/B]
Actually, confidence and charisma really has nothing to do with MBTI type. Extroversion is almost always mistaken for confidence and charisma ---- ENFJ's are just as likely to be timid and shy as any other type.
[B]ENFJ's cannot introspect[/B]
Actually, the speed with with ENFJ's introspect is what surprises people in thinking that they're not introspecting. Most ENFJ's are equally in their heads as they are outside of it in a social situation. The social grace that seems to wow people comes from this ability to process quickly and not be drained by it - in fact energized by it. Think about it next time you're in a conversation with an extrovert when they're talking about something and flowing from topic to topic. The thoughts and ideas are coming from within and not just being plucked out of thin air. The introspection is an ongoing process which never stops.