teddy564339

I'm sorry. I can relate. And I just can't believe homophobia still exists in this day and age.

Sometimes I think they are just testing me. See how far they can push me with their idiot way of thinking. I try not to give them what they want.

My God, people can be dumb, can't they? And they are going to vote soon. Yowza!

I'm not a homophobe. I am against bullying in general. I was bullied a lot as a kid. I was weak, but spoke up, that was my problem. My biggest problem was that I couldn't speak or stand up against my teachers, who pointed me out as 'the' troublemaker, and harrassed me more than any student ever did. I even had teachers who blamed me for trashing someone's car at a parking lot, at a parking lot I'd never been to. Had to go through pyschological evaluations because teachers thought I was a retard even though I was one of the brightest kids in class. I don't mean to offend, and I know the subject is touchy, especially after that guy's speech, I watched it. I don't live in the U.S., I don't live in the South, I live far up in Northern Norway in a city with less than 70k people. We don't have a lot of racism and such up here as you might have, given that you have so many people living there. But it also touch my values a little that they would give homosexuals more attention than they would someone like me because I too was bullied. I was bullied for years, and harrassed, even by teachers, so why the hell was it a minor thing when I was being bullied, why should we stand up against bullying now when it's about homosexuals? It irks me. I would probably say the same thing that kid did you, and it wouldn't be to provoke you, it would be a matter of opinion, given my own personal experience. And as far as suicide goes, I have been close to doing it myself (without telling anyone about it), but it wasn't because of bullying. I'm just saying, there may have been other reasons why he said what he said, even though you might think otherwise. I cold heartedly agree with you though when it comes to bullying, and bullying homosexuals. But it still irks me that we're gonna hand over a bunch of sympathy to a [I]group[/I] of people, as in treating them differently, treating them more special. It irk irk irks me. I can't explain why. And I don't think I have the mindpower to dig in and get it out, there's too many little things that I'd have to get a hold of and say in order for you to fully understand (maybe, or maybe you do understand).

Good read though. Liked your blog post.

I'm sorry you experienced that. I wore purple without incident today, but the only place I went was on campus, the 3rd most diverse college in the country. x_X

I think I see what you're saying, MikeAngel, and in some ways I definitely agree.

In fact, I've seen other teachers talk about how passionately they feel about the subject, and I myself have also felt some cynicism about the recent attention the topic has gotten given the fact that bullying has been around for a very long time.

Here's my thing: Bullying is STILL looked at as a minor thing...it's not like all of this attention the homosexuality issue is changing what people think or the policies on bullying, at least not in my school district. I think the problem I see is when people don't see anything wrong with the fact that bullying is leading to suicide...like that the 13 year old gay kid committing suicide is the one in the wrong. That's just like me saying that you were in the one in the wrong when you were bullied by your teachers. It makes absolutely no sense to think that, and yet I think that's what homophobia is driving these kids to think...it's just pure, irrational bias...just like I would have irrational bias by thinking "Oh, your teachers couldn't have been the wrong ones, all teachers are right, you must have done something to make them not like you, etc." It just doesn't make sense, and it's a complete lack of sympathy and understanding.


I guess I just see no reason for the whole thing to be a competition...it shouldn't be a race to see who can get more attention for their cause.


So I see why the whole thing would irk you, but believe me, it's clearly not the same reasoning with this kid, at least based on everything I've seen. After asking me me if I "supported gay people", he clearly said to me "I don't support gay people, and I want nothing to do with them." He's a definite example of homophobia, and I think in Southern US, there's much, much more homophobia than there is in most of Europe, at least from what I've heard. There's also a lot more ignorance and bigotry. I think I get why the whole thing irks you, but from what I can see, in this situation it's completely different.

I know there always could be more to the story here, and there's no way for me to know everything that's going on in his head. But I've seen no indication of anything else in this situation, and all I can do is go by what I've seen.



I guess just the whole lack of empathy and sympathy thing just really gets me. It bothers me that people can blow off the issue of suicide completely, like it doesn't matter at all. I know we all become desensitized to some degree, and different people are going to care about it in different depths. But to show absolutely no concern at all because of personal feelilngs, most likely due to homophobia, just strikes me as completely selfish and sad.


And again, my emphasis on this situation is in no way an attempt to devalue your own, and like I said, I never think the thing should become a competition about who's suffering more. It should all be looked at like it's a problem, and unfortunately, none of it is. There's so much fucking BS in the US education system that real issues are ignored and swept under the rug.

I was brutally and relentlessly bullied on a daily basis by other students and by teachers, was subjected to re-victimization every time I sought help, had to face victim-blaming attitudes from almost everyone I talked to about it, because it is pretty much unanimously believed that sensitivity is more of a flaw than cruelty, and I'm not even gay. I can only imagine how much worse it must be for those who are.

Your students have serious problems, to think that if someone is driven to suicide, they somehow deserve to die for being "weak." What a bunch of ignorant, arrogant, evil little pricks.

I think a big part of the problem is their lack of understanding the difference between what they see and what actually happens.

From what I gathered, they don't understand the difference between friendly teasing and actual bullying. Most teenagers are used to joking around with their friends and making fun of each other in a friendly way. When these kids heard these stories about gay kids being bullied, they associated that with their own jokes rather than what was actually happening. They viewed the victims as being someone who can't take jokes and as being over-sensitive.

And it's that lack of empathy that makes teaching so frustrating sometimes. They only look at things from their own perspective...they don't understand what it's like to be in the minority, they don't understand what it's like to not have friends and support, they don't understand how someone else feels. They think they already know and make snap judgments without taking the time to find out all of the information. That's what's so frustrating about our current society, with our fast-access entertainment and immediate gratification with no work.


The good news is that they're not all like that. Even at this rural Southern high school, there were students wearing purple that sparked all of this up in the first place.

In addition, I was so frustrated when I posted this that I did leave out the one good part. When I said my first line about respecting gay people, the one kid did say that he was willing to do that. There's a bisexual girl in the class, and he said he got along with her just fine.


So there's a lot of negativity, but it's not hopeless. And in all fairness, they are teenagers. Some of them will not change their beliefs, but that doesn't mean that they can't change. I know when I was in high school I wasn't a hardcore homophobic, but I certainly was much more homophobic than I am now. So people can learn and change, even if not everyone does.


But that's why I made this blog post...it just helps a lot for me to get all of this out of my system to people that can understand and relate, and I thank the people who have posted comments for being there to listen.

This would have bothered me, too.