I just sent a very long email.
by, 04-04-2011 at 05:15 PM (494 Views)
I emailed my ex-girlfriend, the one from last year, today and apologized. I told her that I was sorry for the person that I was when she found me, and that I hope that she can accept that nothing I did wrong in our relationship was out of malevolence. She's an enneagram type two. She sent me an email in early March that was probably the most hate-filled and hurtful thing I've ever read. It read like a list of six phobias, so she managed to hit every button on my panel at once. I wasn't in a position to respond then, but I am now, so I did.
I told her of all the good I've done for others with what I learned from her since she left me. I hope she's able to get some pleasure out of that. I have trouble seeing her as someone with anything less than hate for me. :sad: There's so much suffering in this world, isn't there?
It felt good to finally respond. Her email was confusing, filled with things that conflict with my own memory about what happened in our relationship. I tried my best to be tactful about these, but there's only so much tact I can apply beyond saying "this isn't how I remember this."
I think sometimes about all my ex-girlfriends, and what I would say to them, the ones who aren't still my friends at least, about what I regret. I have a lot of regret, but I don't dwell on it. I look back at who I was with these women and I feel like it was somebody else. I suppose, in a sense, it was. As a young ISTJ I had no idea how to handle my feelings. Even today, in the most extreme situations, I've discovered all I can do is shut them off. I'd make a shitty ISFJ. From what I hear, Niss would say I'm becoming one. So would @timeless' new 16 types test.
At least I can't say I'll dislike the company. :mellow: