StephAnne04

You are entirely right. And I have started to really like my newest psychiatrist for that reason. My psychiatrist doesn't take my crap. She is the best one I've ever had. Other ones would just passively listen and rack up the hours. What I realized they were doing was just perpetuating my problems and getting paid. She doesn't; she realized that every time I play the victim I reinforce a neural pattern that will be harder to break if I don't start now. She will tell me tough luck and that I need to stop moping! I was shocked at first but its the best damn response I've heard. I mean she sympathizes, but she is firmly looking foreword and doesn't let me dwell on the past, which would cause me plenty of pain. Getting over stuff is the real goal-we need to stop complaining, and psychologists need to stop being such wusses and assert themselves and get some real problem solving done.

I completely agree with everything you said. I'm actually studying Psychology right now but I seriously disagree with some of it for the exact same reasons you do.

I am a psychology major myself and I hope to be a counselor one day. I had a counselor do that for me too, MasterDood. The first time she told me to stop wallowing in self pity really shocked me. But it REALLY helped me. If it hadn't been for her I never would have gotten my head on straight.

What do they call it... unconditional positive regard?

Yay... maybe they'll do a better job than our parents did.

These people need to be told that they are the problem. That sounds harsh, but its true.

While you gave some clear examples of someone who is victimizing themself, how can you be certain when your client is, in fact, the problem?

Most of the time they are. I don't mean to say that shit doesn't happen to us.... it definitely does. And I think it is important for us to work through those things. That means validation and really getting everything out.. that doesn't mean wallowing in it.

Ah, I think you misunderstood my question. What gives psychologists the right to determine whether someone is victimizing themself or not? Furthermore, what gives them the right to judge the situation at all? (Especially when the psychologist only hears one subjective side of the story.)

Well Femme you're arguing against the very idea of a Psychologist at that point. If Psychologists are not fit to judge whether someone is victimizing themself or not who is?

I don't think I'm arguing against psychology; excuse my inability to word my thoughts correctly.
As far as I know, the role of a psychologist is to actively listen to their client and reflect their thoughts, provide options and solutions to certain issues, make proper assessments based on the symptoms they exhibit that match those defined in the DSM-IV, etc. It is not their duty, however, to judge whether their client is at fault or not.

Ahhh Im a psych major and also hope to be a counselor someday!

Femme, I'm not talking about judging them. You said its their job to offer solutions... and I agree with that. What I am annoyed at is the psychologist who DON'T offer solutions. They just tell you that you are right to feel bad. Validating feelings is important, but without really examining the problem AND offering solutions, how can progress ever be made?

true m agree