Psychologists give too many hugs
by, 10-22-2009 at 12:52 PM (1542 Views)
I am SO tired of this trend in psychology to be all cuddly stuff. I see people blame everyone else in their lives for why they are unhappy and their counselor just goes right along with it. The patient plays the victim role, but instead of trying to get them out of it, they only enforce it! They give them what they WANT instead of what they NEED. They don't want to offend them or they don't want to hurt their feelings or whatever but I'm sorry, doing this accomplishes NOTHING. How does that help them get better? All it does is perpetuate the cycle.
These people need to be told that they are the problem. That sounds harsh, but its true. The way they look at the world, the way they perceive themselves, why they can't find the partner they want all stem from that person. The only way to help a person is to help them see that. Otherwise they will live their life in denial and will never be happy.
People need to understand that we can grope and bitch about the outside world, but in all honesty we can't change it. The only thing we CAN change is ourselves. We have to learn how to handle things. We have to understand that OUR actions cause our unhappiness.We have choices. And if we choose to live a life of misery that is OUR fault, not everyone around us.
I understand that things happen to us that are unforeseeable and they can really effect a person... I'm not really talking about those things. I am talking about the woman who always chooses the wrong man and bitches because she can't find a good man. Or the guy who lets his wife walk all over him and talks about he is unappreciated. I know that there is true pain in these situations and that pain needs to be validated and addressed, but telling them its not their fault will just make the pain happen again.
I'm not saying be a dick about opening their eyes. It takes time for people to really see themselves honestly. You can be supportive and compassionate without letting the person stay a victim.
People go to therapy to get help. Isn't it time we give them what they need?