How does one turn their emotions off? - Blogs - PersonalityCafe

StephAnne04

How does one turn their emotions off?

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by , 10-24-2009 at 03:30 PM (12626 Views)
How do people keep from letting their heartache effect them? Better yet, how do people NOT have heartache?

I know alot of scientist types... and I love their logic and how organized they are compared to me, but the thing I envy the most is how they are able to just ignore their emotions. No matter how hard I try, my emotions consume me, especially when it is pain. There are many things I do to cope, but I look at people who have been hurt and they seem fine. I know that they are probably hurting on the inside, but how do they not let it effect their lives?

When I hurt, its all I can think about. I can stray from this at times when I stay busy, but there is always something that I see or hear that reminds me of the pain and it cripples me once again. I try and ignore it because people around me just can't understand why I am so emotional. I would rather deal with those feelings on my own then to put them out in the open and have someone roll their eyes at me.

I just want to not feel sometimes.There are good emotions, but even in those I feel alone. If I am overcome with how beautiful something is, other people can't understand it. I feel awkward in trying to explain why I feel the way I do, good or bad, not because I don't know HOW to say it, but because I know the other person just doesn't get it.

Right now, I'm going through a rough time and I am really devastated by the happenings in my life, and I feel like I have no one to turn to. I think about sharing, but I know it won't be received well. I wish I could just turn these emotions off.

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Updated 10-24-2009 at 06:55 PM by StephAnne04

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  1. Liontiger's Avatar
    Some people are just like that. We can section off emotion deep inside ourselves and pretend it's not there, or not even realize it's there. The frustrating thing about this, however, is when we do not understand what we are feeling or why we are feeling it, it throws us off balance. Kind of a double-edged sword, if you ask me.

    All I can say is to try to let the emotions out. Cry, throw things, create art, sing, scream, anything. Turning them off won't really solve anything. And how do you know the other person won't understand or doesn't want to understand? People can surprise you sometimes.

    Hope that helps some.
  2. snail's Avatar
    I don't know how to shut feelings off. I think it's not possible for some of us. The best thing we can do is come to terms with our sensitivity, stop thinking of it as a disability, and appreciate it despite the fact that it is not always convenient. Rather than worrying what others will think of us for expressing pain, we must try to liberate their minds by encouraging tolerance. We must be open about our feelings, or those around us may be secretly feeling just as we feel, holding in the same fire, imploding from the desperation, terrified to express anything because they feel alone and ashamed. I'm sorry you're hurting. *hugs*
    Updated 10-24-2009 at 09:28 PM by snail
  3. Weliddryn's Avatar
    'Turning off' your emotions or trying to fight them may proveto be counter productive to your growth.

    May I suggest a different approach?

    Ride through the currents of pain, but always land on the shore of perserverance even as the tide sweeps you away, again... sooner or later you'll find your legs on that shore and carry on out of the ocean's reach. Every time you ride through these crashing waves, tell yourself you'll carry on and every time this cycle repeats, you may find it closer to the truth.

    It takes time... but know that you are not alone.

    You have my best wishes. Take care.
  4. Selene's Avatar
    Hi Stephanie. :)

    How do people keep from letting their heartache effect them? Better yet, how do people NOT have heartache?

    I know alot of scientist types... and I love their logic and how organized they are compared to me, but the thing I envy the most is how they are able to just ignore their emotions. No matter how hard I try, my emotions consume me, especially when it is pain. There are many things I do to cope, but I look at people who have been hurt and they seem fine. I know that they are probably hurting on the inside, but how do they not let it effect their lives?
    I can't say exactly how other people deal with emotions, because I'm not them...but I suspect that they don't value their negative emotions very much. They don't see them as being a part of themselves. So, when they occur, they let go of them pretty quickly. And when they can't let go of them, they force them out of awareness. I think a lot of people distract themselves from what they're feeling.

    When I hurt, its all I can think about. I can stray from this at times when I stay busy, but there is always something that I see or hear that reminds me of the pain and it cripples me once again. I try and ignore it because people around me just can't understand why I am so emotional. I would rather deal with those feelings on my own then to put them out in the open and have someone roll their eyes at me.
    Yeah, totally. When the social norm is to not talk about feelings very much, particularly negative ones, and you're expected to just let everything blow by you effortlessly and not really CARE...the only way to sort through feelings kind of is by yourself. And it will seem shameful and out-of-the-ordinary if you're thinking, "If nobody else does this...maybe there's something wrong with me? Why doesn't anybody else do this? Am I just f--ed up in the head?"

    I just want to not feel sometimes.There are good emotions, but even in those I feel alone. If I am overcome with how beautiful something is, other people can't understand it. I feel awkward in trying to explain why I feel the way I do, good or bad, not because I don't know HOW to say it, but because I know the other person just doesn't get it.
    I guess you feel like being "overcome" is something rare in general--you've extended it to your negative emotions, but it applies to your positive ones also. The people you're around don't get totally drenched in feelings the way you do. :) And you can't really explain it when they're just going to think you're crazy, moody, emo, or whatever else.

    Right now, I'm going through a rough time and I am really devastated by the happenings in my life, and I feel like I have no one to turn to. I think about sharing, but I know it won't be received well. I wish I could just turn these emotions off.
    On the basis of what you've said so far, it seems like the reason you want to turn them off is because others have theirs turned off, and they'll be more supportive if you're just a different person. But...that's VERY different from being yourself, accepting who you are, and finding other people who love and appreciate you for that emotional person that you are.

    So, to mirror what everybody else has said...I don't feel it's in your best interest to try to shut out feelings. And I don't feel that that's really what you ultimately want either.

    But hey...I'm a bit biased. It's not like I know what's best for you. ^_^
  5. MrFixit's Avatar
    I'm the same type as you and can identify with how you feel completely. I realised that one of the things that i do is create lots of wonderful possibilities of how id like my life to be, which is warming, but when i feel down its the opposite and the things i imagine are the worst outcomes, and it gets to me a lot. I think its just a byproduct of being so in touch with emotions but if you can stop yourself from doing it and try to focus on what you know to be true and good rather than possibly bad it helps me a little.

    As for not having anyone to talk with, again i can relate, seems like i know so many people that are friends but none that i feel would understand, or i could turn to, then the danger is becoming more withdrawn. I found that going to a public place and reading a book helped me, even though i was on my own being surrounded by people seemed to make me more at ease.

    I find its the not being able to talk to someone you feel you need or want to that gets me, and the uncertainty amplifies sad feelings.

    Im having some emotional trouble, sleeping is difficult and i wake up a lot during the night for long periods of time. Just remember when things work out, and they will, the feelings you have will go away very quickly.

    I hope your well :)
  6. echidna1000's Avatar
    Someone with their emotions turned off permanently is called a sociopath.
  7. StephAnne04's Avatar
    Thank you all for your kind words...

    LionTiger, I appreciate someone saying to let my emotions out. Where I am now, most people are uncomfortable with feelings and don't like the thought of letting them out.

    Snail, I can honestly say I have never thought of it in that way before. The thought that I could teach someone something (liberate their minds) by expressing how I feel never occurred to me. I just thought about their comfort level. However, I do believe people need to be pushed out of their comfort level to grow. So, yeah... thats a cool thought... and thank you for caring about my pain.

    Weliddryn, I love that analogy. I am a visual person, so analogies help me alot. I know that I must face this pain, but I have been afraid of it taking me over in a sense and being lost in it. Planting myself on the shore of perseverance however, that gives me a way to deal with that fear. Thank you.

    Selene, thank you for saying everything about accepting myself. Sometimes I worry about what other people think too much.

    MrFixit, I like the idea of being in a public place and being introverted a bit. It would give me what I need. As for your emotional trouble, I know alot of people say that they are sorry but don't mean it, but I truly am sorry. I hate to see anyone...even people I don't know... in distress of any kind.
  8. MrFixit's Avatar
    Im glad i might have suggested something that is able to help you, and i really hope it does give you a little something you need. Thank you for your support, to offer that when you yourself are having emotional difficulties shows an incredible amount about your character, and i genuinely hope you find some peace soon. We as a type have beautifully intricate, delicate and intense minds, and i too am sorry yours is causing you discomfort at this time. you will be pleased to know however that i am feeling considerably better today. Thankyou
  9. Merijen's Avatar
    I can turn mine emotions off. It works like this. When im i a stressful situation i close my eyes. Then i imagine a switch in my head and thers on on one side and off on other side.It is turned on. Then i imagine a hand who turnes it off. When i open my eyes i dont fell anything.If i want , i can turn my emotions back on,but that is harder then turning it off. Its easy for me.

    Soo, my qestion is:am i a freak???
  10. chip's Avatar
    Honestly, since having my first real bout of depression, I want my emotions back. Not having them is scary. The trick is learning how to use your emotions the right way, in a positive manner by doing relaxing techniques and not letting any heart ache linger for too long.
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