Welcome to la la land...

I will try to never again do any of these things.

-Be a doormat for other people
-Act dumb
-Dislike anyone in my family who I know is good
-Make friends based on popularity
-Let injustice slip by
-Lose faith in God
-Lose faith in my ideals
-Label myself
-Label other people
-Take people for granted
-Keep feelings out of the equation under stress to prevent conflict, because this eats away at me
-Feel a need ...

So I was thinking about my future. (Trust me, this gets more interesting as it goes on, okay?) It came to me that I don't care about my grades. This semester I got a 3.5. Sounds okay-ish, right? I knew I have a lot more potential. I don't mean to sound elitist at all, but I know for a fact I can do a lot better than most kids later on in life. I was lost in a world of options that could be my priorities in life.

I was thinking, why could I be doing THIS when I could do so much more? ...

Lately I'm feeling great. My box of which things to do, clothes to wear, people to befriend, etc has disappeared because I'm no longer insecure. I've always wanted to break this because my desire is to be the best I can be. I don't want to stoop down to conformist boring fashion and only choosing popular friends. I am proud to be an overanalyzer and I used to be ashamed of this! Go me! Woop woop!

I am doing track this year. We started doing sprints and stuff and I've learned to somehow give it my all (and I mean ALL) and I've become really fast. (: I'm training in my backyard and across the community park too. I look like an idiot but it's for my sake. I wanna be the best I can be!

So yeah. Um I don't really have much to say but...

Yesterday was awesome because I felt appreciated. I felt truly appreciayed by my real life friends and PerC friends. I felt as if the people listening as I talked had the attitude/mentality to genuinely listen to the words between the lines that I don't say. I could feel it.