FreeBeer

Hmm, wasn't sure in the beginning but the forum is a nice pace.

It's funny, i arrived here due to a tv program which reminded me of a test i did back in collage. Time will tell what will become of this but for now it's an opportunity to give some advice to a few people and hopefully receive some help with the problems I'm running into.

A bit about myself:

I'm a 24 year old Hungarian guy living in Transylvania. Finishing psychology this year and completely lost as to what my future will look like. Psychology does not feel right at all. I'm good with computers and electronic stuff in general, repair, setup, office wide network...but i'm best when it comes to absorbing other languages and culture. Once and ESFP told me i was a natural with kids. I helped her with a "creativity camp" she did as a project. To be honest teaching scares me even if i consider it one of the most noble of professions.

I can be upbeat and loud when in good company, melancholic and very creative if something touches my soul, cold and vengeful to those who disrespect the things i value most in life or show a lack of morality. INFP pretty much applies to me and so far i have been through the debts of mental hell and have touched heaven.

Other then that i procrastinate a lot and can't help daydreaming.

I'm not sure if soul-mates exist because i have been through a very long relationship where i thought she was it. I guess time will tell, still hoping it is true.
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My mind wanders a lot lately just as the title says. Maybe it's because it's Christmas and the family gathering is not something fun so i hide in my room a lot.

Whatever the case i have come to a few conclusions.

First of all i like who i am, who i have become. Even if i have a long way to go and need to improve a lot of things..i feel i can accept myself for who i am. Every ditch i fell into, every storm i survived has made me stronger and i'm grateful that life has offered me occasional sunshine and rest . So far so good.

The second thing would be the thoughts regarding why i'm nice to ppl. I think it comes from understanding pain. I can understand the pain, i also fell in that ditch in the pouring rain..i felt as the earth crumbled between my fingers as i struggled to get out. I also know how it feels when another grabs your hand and helps you escape that misery. I also do it for myself. Yes it is sometimes a selfish act, it just makes me feel good. I feel good when i know i was useful to someone in a meaningful way. Even if all i did was sit and listen.

Third. I'm in a ditch right now, the sky is dark but it's not raining. I'm staring up at it and wonder about my future. I feel lonely. I'm introverted so socialising is on the low side and I'm unsure what i should do career wise. My parents are not getting younger and soon they will need my help.

I need to climb out of here and walk forward until i can build a house to stay out of the rain, to patch my family's house up if and when it starts to crumble. Honestly it scares me and the ditch is safe even if it is uncomfortable and cold.

Hmm, i don't want to make this too long or ppl will not read it haha.

Last thing would be about the soul-mate. I don't think it needs to be perfect...just someone who can understand. Someone who is willing to punch me in the face and force me to climb out , to move forward into the sunshine.
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My question to anyone who was willing to read this far is:

If you have gone through the decision for career or have moved past this time in life or you are facing it now, what did or will you do? I'd like any advice that comes from experience. Tell me your story, maybe it will inspire me.

Thank you for reading.

PS: Merry Christmas