purplevelvetmask

I hear your cries....

I guess you could try to just live for yourself. Other people's disapproval and misreading of your intentions may just be a part of life. It doesn't really make it any easier to deal with, though.

Thankyou everyone.

purplevelvetmask,

if i may comment; i know it has been a while since we talked (: firstly, you don't have to apologize or explain yourself for being on your own journey. each person does their own self-discovery in different phases, at different times in their lives. this type of upheaval mentally usually indicates a need for 'change'. are you doing any spiritual practice at all? you may want to look at this also for yourself, or something you and your partner can do together.

because you don't match your partner in this moment, in terms of him knowing what he wants, and who he is, doesn't make him more or less advanced than you are. perhaps you two are together, and he can guide you, or at least be patient, as you do some growth of your own. this is what relationships are. you obviously have qualities that benefit him also, that you can share, otherwise you wouldn't be together. you have been through many changes, look at your moving to a new place, as a new beginning and chance to re-discover your self.

in dealing with wanting forgiveness, if the close people around you care, ask them what it is you can do to mend the situation. and then do it! forgiveness takes time, and some people don't want to give it either, so assess this situation carefully on a case-by-case basis. if you find they don't really care about you, then learn how to cut people. be positive for yourself, and no one else.

keep an eye open for new people, opportunities and positive friends that come into your life. start from the basics, and decide what you want to change about yourself, and work towards it. sometimes, when i compare myself to others and put their needs before my own, i feel like i am loosing my identity, or like i am going to cave in, literally. so please do look out for yourself first, this year, starting now, putting together some goals (: you can do it! perhaps focus more on your own positive qualities is needed now. your current thought process may cause stagnation, you have to focus on moving forward-- taking into consideration all of your resources.

congratulations! when a person stops to ask "Who am I?" often it is the beginning of a great journey! most people don't stop to ask.

The rollback deleted my first comment so I posted on your wall instead.

I am so much more aware of who I am several months after this blog and my perCers have helped so much. Love you guys!

purplevelvetmask,

It's all part of the 'love' process, I suppose. Your partner seems very responsible, and he is committed to you, he moved far away with you.

So in your development, he too will share your happiness, as you become more independent, and it may even add to your partnership, as you increase yourself spiritually and materially. regardless of what anyone things, a person cannot hold back on their destiny and purpose of being.

I like talking to you, it was a pleasure adding to your Blog here (:

[COLOR=darkorchid]Femaleinfj you seem like a wonderful person![/COLOR]

The great thing with personal suffering is, that you can use it to understand the suffering of others. This understanding can transform life for everyone :)

Well I guess I have the ability to transform lives then :-)

My sympathies. Forgiving oneself can be very difficult, especially in issues buried dark and deep.

One method to try can be to accept one's own capability to forgive. Sometimes, life seems very light and easy, while on other times everything is dark and difficult. The easy times can be used to forgive difficult issues, while on the difficult times one can go easy on the self.

I forgave myself a while ago, now it's a matter of trying to get on with my life to prove to myself that I can do it rather than for anyone else's sake.