What Feeling types don't understand about INTJs
by, 12-03-2011 at 01:30 PM (663 Views)
We're not purposely trying to hurt your feelings, (unless you yourself have been a jerk and somehow we were magically aware of it).
We just don't place any value on human emotions, quite honestly. Or at least, I don't. In fact, stoicism seems to be an ideal practice, but I wouldn't necessarily follow it as I would a religion. Other INTJs, as well as I, believe that emotions are for the weak. (At least..I think other INTJs think this..). Being able to endure pain is just a part of life - and controlling other emotions such as sadness and happiness are just as irrelevant to success.
I'll just speak for myself here:
Success is my main goal. If I have to play people's emotions to succeed in life, sure, because success is my goal. Yes, I place value in my friendships, but not as much as personal achievements. I don't think that's coming off as a jerk. Not only that, but half the time I'm unaware that I'm even hurting someone's feelings.
I think that this is easier for women to understand when I use this analogy: It's like when you ask someone if a dress makes you look fat - you want the HONEST answer, not something to make you feel good even if it's bull. Undeserved compliments are for the insecure, and those giving them need to grow a pair.
That said - I know I don't understand a lot about Feeing types, but I'll just summarize what I said in a few words: Your feelings don't matter to me, as well as mine. They're irrelevant in the world we live in - and with my being a Christian - I believe the only thing that's going to matter is what good we do in the world. If that includes being nice, yes, I'll be nice if that's what God wants - but not just for the sake of being nice. It's not part of my nature.
*Also, if it seems like there are a lot of contradictions in here - it's my 6w5 coming out in me...