Nisey

Going Insane (INFJ)

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Nisey
, 05-11-2012 at 07:35 AM (370 Views)
I am fresh out of college (August). I have two jobs working with kids. I make no money. I can't even afford to pay my bills, on time. I have two lesbian roommates who are currently not working. I just broke it off with a guy that I've liked since 2005. I figure I was more in love with the thought of him and where I know he can go in life, but he is too lazy to get there. I just got a speeding ticket and no one will call me back for a job interview. I keep going in and out of depressions. Nothing serious, my childhood was shockingly worse. I don't get hungry. I hate doctors. I don't know if I want to go back to school. I would go for counseling, but I can't see myself sitting down all day and talking to people. I like counseling, I just don't think I should do it all day everyday. At both of my jobs I pretty much do what I want when I want with the kids. I play and counseling and tutor all at the same time. And in most cases the kids only listen to me. I just had sex for the first time with a guy I don't even like, but I wanted to. I hate my roommates. I just saw my dad for the first time in like twenty years, yesterday? I'm twenty four? I want a good job where I can still play counsel and tutor children, but make 40,000 or more a year. I want to move into a house by myself. Get a dog. And live quietly alone. I don't think I'll ever find love, even though that is technically all I want in life. I've never had a boyfriend. I was in love with my 'Ex'. Still kinda am, but trying to get over it. I feel like a loser, because I don't have my masters and everyone is getting there's and doing so well. But I honestly hate school. I didn't learn anything in college. Seriously I never read anything. Most papers I just read a sentence and based my paper off that. It would be stupid to go back and waste all that money and not really have an end goal? Counseling, but I don't want to do that all day.

My Life Sucks.
Word Vomit.
AstralSoldier thanked this post.

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  1. Lindsay Cooke's Avatar
    I just spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to comment on this crap just to tell you I understand. lol. anyways

    Story of my life, my family sucks too. I'm so sorry. you are not alone. I am an infj going insane too.

    <3
  2. Nisey's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by Lindsay Cooke
    I just spent 20 minutes trying to figure out how to comment on this crap just to tell you I understand. lol. anyways

    Story of my life, my family sucks too. I'm so sorry. you are not alone. I am an infj going insane too.

    <3
    Yea that why I called it word vomit lol I'm feeling better. Moving back in with my mom to go to school for school counseling. My roommates and I are not talking because they are about to be homeless. I think this is right...idk just ready for change.
  3. AstralSoldier's Avatar
    Nisey, to all of the above said in your Blog, you've got another INFJ here, who TOTALLY feels you in every situation; from school with assignments, to shit-brick eating roomates! lol. The job situation suxxx balls EVERYWHERE now, but chin up girl! You'll come out on top; being down and out for the time being doesn't make you a loser, no on the contrary; all this you're going through is going to benefit you big in the long term, because this is all brick for your foundation that you're building for yourself; take sometime to really reflect on all you've gone through, and all you've done to survive and keep yourself going! Most people would've probably keeled over by now, but you keep going; sometimes in life, it feels like you're running an ENDLESS race, but it's really an endurance test you know? I've been through what seems like crappy, situation, after crappy situation, but I know I've gotta focus PURELY on the goal sometimes, and who better than an INFJ to see the goal? Whenver you're situation feels hopeless remember, it's far, FAR from over! You've got fighter in you, so don't forget it! So keep your chin, up, and screw the circumstances....we know shit happens, but but we can handle it. :)
    Nisey thanked this post.
  4. Nisey's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by AstralSoldier
    Nisey, to all of the above said in your Blog, you've got another INFJ here, who TOTALLY feels you in every situation; from school with assignments, to shit-brick eating roomates! lol. The job situation suxxx balls EVERYWHERE now, but chin up girl! You'll come out on top; being down and out for the time being doesn't make you a loser, no on the contrary; all this you're going through is going to benefit you big in the long term, because this is all brick for your foundation that you're building for yourself; take sometime to really reflect on all you've gone through, and all you've done to survive and keep yourself going! Most people would've probably keeled over by now, but you keep going; sometimes in life, it feels like you're running an ENDLESS race, but it's really an endurance test you know? I've been through what seems like crappy, situation, after crappy situation, but I know I've gotta focus PURELY on the goal sometimes, and who better than an INFJ to see the goal? Whenver you're situation feels hopeless remember, it's far, FAR from over! You've got fighter in you, so don't forget it! So keep your chin, up, and screw the circumstances....we know shit happens, but but we can handle it. :)
    You made me cry a little. Thank you for your words of support! I almost quit but I didn't, I got more help. My family and true friends are helping me through this. I just have to wait 53 more days and I can be rid of my roommates. I no longer feel sorry for them. I just want them gone. I'm going to Ivy Tech first to get my mind right for my masters. I have head back on right, I'm just tired of waiting for my lease to be up. I'm tired of catering to them and being their ride. Its almost over and I won't be a chauffeur much longer. I might even change my number lol But I'm excited finally, dark days are gone and I start working soon. By 31 I'll be in my own home with a great job! (Hopefully a Hubby too!) 53 days left on the lease and four more years of school and I'm there!!
  5. AstralSoldier's Avatar
    No need to cry! Honestly, I just wanna thank you for the blog! It was WELL worth reading because the situation seemed to mirror mine EXACTLY! Anyway, for what it's worth, I'm rooting for you! It's good you're past your roomates because they're cup of tea didn't seem to fit your pallet too well, good riddance to bad rubbish and all that! :) I mean, if you're gonna be the ride, then, why can't THEY supply the gas money? It's only decent, but then, considering the roomates? Hmmm...you're better off minus them! You're dark days seem like their closing up FAST! Good luck with the home, the hubby, and the happy careers, academic and proffessional!!

    GOO NICEY!!!
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