Going Insane (INFJ)
by, 05-11-2012 at 07:35 AM (358 Views)
I am fresh out of college (August). I have two jobs working with kids. I make no money. I can't even afford to pay my bills, on time. I have two lesbian roommates who are currently not working. I just broke it off with a guy that I've liked since 2005. I figure I was more in love with the thought of him and where I know he can go in life, but he is too lazy to get there. I just got a speeding ticket and no one will call me back for a job interview. I keep going in and out of depressions. Nothing serious, my childhood was shockingly worse. I don't get hungry. I hate doctors. I don't know if I want to go back to school. I would go for counseling, but I can't see myself sitting down all day and talking to people. I like counseling, I just don't think I should do it all day everyday. At both of my jobs I pretty much do what I want when I want with the kids. I play and counseling and tutor all at the same time. And in most cases the kids only listen to me. I just had sex for the first time with a guy I don't even like, but I wanted to. I hate my roommates. I just saw my dad for the first time in like twenty years, yesterday? I'm twenty four? I want a good job where I can still play counsel and tutor children, but make 40,000 or more a year. I want to move into a house by myself. Get a dog. And live quietly alone. I don't think I'll ever find love, even though that is technically all I want in life. I've never had a boyfriend. I was in love with my 'Ex'. Still kinda am, but trying to get over it. I feel like a loser, because I don't have my masters and everyone is getting there's and doing so well. But I honestly hate school. I didn't learn anything in college. Seriously I never read anything. Most papers I just read a sentence and based my paper off that. It would be stupid to go back and waste all that money and not really have an end goal? Counseling, but I don't want to do that all day.
My Life Sucks.