by, 07-11-2012 at 05:21 PM (198 Views)
So, I really can't call this thing a diary anymore, can I? If I take two days off from posting in it?
I have no idea...but I do like the word "Impression" better than "Diary Entry"..it sounds more, ideal, or something.
But yeah..the interview was very short, and they said that they would call me. The thing was, they wanted me to come in for housekeeping. I was assertive for the first time in ever, and told them that I had originally meant to apply just for the front desk. They told me that they had a lot of turnover, and I seemed like a "people person" that would be good for the front desk job. (I had to mentally laugh at the people person statement, though it came out as just a smile.)
But yes, it was oddly empowering asking for what I wanted, or telling them what I wanted, instead of just going ahead with what they had originally wanted me for. A part of me did want the job for a change..but I held myself back, the part of me that likes change has been running my job choices forever now...just so that I can accumulate knowledge, and such. I'm tired of it. Every year..it's a new job...well, sometimes I go like 2 years or so, but you know what I mean. I'm tired of it. I just want a full time job, that I can go to work, know that I'll have the job when I get home, and that has a stable type of schedule.
I must be getting old. lol
ANYWAY. I started a diet 3 days ago, and I've already lost like 8 pounds. I think it was just water weight..but I've been eating a lot healthier. I was getting addicted to cheese again...so, blah. I am a vegetarian, though, so it makes it easier to get low-calorie things. I also started actually exercising, so it's all good. I didn't really get up too high from my ideal weight, anyway, it's just I have to keep a close eye on stuff like that, because I want to be okay with looking in the mirror.
I know that sounds incredibly vain, but that's the way I've always been. I remember the night before my first day of school...I was looking in the mirror, thinking that I was too fat to go to school. (this was before kindergarten, by the way) So, yeah...I've dealt with self-image issues for awhile now. But the destruction of the incredibly mean Judger person (You know, the one that I got drunk, and hid with a blanket?) was a great help to my self esteem.
Now it was just a dispassionate thought process like "Oh, I've gained weight...I'm on the high side of normal...I better get back down to more the middle/low side of normal." And then another thought came by in response that said, "Yes, we'll start tomorrow." And that's how it happened. There was none of that self-esteem bullshit internal conversation that said I was a bad person or whatnot if I didn't lose the weight...or that I was a fat, ugly, slob if I gained a few pounds.
I'm so glad that that stopped. It was so exhausting to hate myself on a daily basis.
But, anyway... that's the "Impression" for today! lol