Nicole Hobbs

So, today before I came into work, I was talking to an acquaintance, and he said that I was "weird" and "dark" and stuff like that...and that I looked/seemed like a geek, and that the reason why he doesn't come to my place of work (Subway) and get something to eat is because I freaked him out a bit. I really didn't know how to respond to that.


I mean, I don't think that I'm that weird or anything.
Blah. I hate people's unsolicited comments.

But yeah...this new friend of mine.....well, more like an acquaintance...was a little drunk, and we had to take her home. She confided in me about how she didn't like being alone in her house.. and I was like "why is that?" And so she proceeded to tell me how she used to be locked in there from her husband, and how he used to accuse her of cheating if she ever came home a little late, and how she left him after she had basically been put in the hospital from him beating her. It's crazy...I just couldn't really look at her as she was telling me this, basically because of how much feeling I would get from her if I looked in her eyes, despite the fact that she was drunk.

It's really annoying. I really did feel bad for her, and I suppose I did ask. I dunno. Sometimes I wish I didn't know some things. I have files for everyone in my head....sometimes I feel like I just gather information to pull out on a whim with people, if I need to know something about them on the fly. All kinds of information that I know, that I will never say, and never come out with again. It's almost like I have a backup file of everyone I'm friends/acquaintances with.

Also, I'm having a hard time writing tonight for some reason.

I just feel so scatter-brained, and the writing actually is forcing me to make my thoughts coherent. It's kind of stressful. I think it was the fact that I was basically forced to be so social today... that I kind of bent myself out of shape a bit. I'm going to go take a long hot bath here in a moment. I love the way that water makes me feel. It's definitely my preferred element. Even when I'm not in the water/near it, I feel drawn to it. Just to be near it/look at it flowing. And when I'm in water, it feels as though I can feel EVERYTHING....it almost feels as though it's the Earth's life blood that I'm in, and I feel so CONNECTED to everything when I'm in the water...especially a natural body of water. Pools kind of feel dead to me....it's hard to explain. Pools feel dead, and they also dry my skin out really bad.

I'm so looking forward to tomorrow, though. I get to stay home all day, and I don't have to go anywhere. I've had to go somewhere every day this week on some errand. Tomorrow it's just going to be me, my fiancée and my cats at home. I'm so looking forward to it. <3 I get so tired having to be around so many people that I don't know on a regular basis. It's rather exhausting at times. I wish I had a job where I could do my job, and people would just leave me alone. That would be nice for once. I'm getting rather burned out of having to please people all the time.

And that "you freak me out" comment kind of rattled me. He also told me that I'm "different"...and such. Wow, way to make someone feel...alienated.
Ah well...blah.