I'm never having kids
by, 04-22-2011 at 05:32 PM (270 Views)
As a bit of background, I was working a 40 hr/week job. It was a shitty fast food job, but it gave me money weekly and it gave me something to do. I got to socialize (even if it was with people I didn't feel like talking to), and I had something to do for 8 hrs a day. I worked this particular job for about a month, and my father told me to come spend the next three months with him as I wait to transfer to my new college. I would make about the same amount (if not more) as if I were still working, and I wouldn't have to fry food to do it. Plus, I'd get to hang out with my father and it might be the last time I can give up 3 months in a row to live with him. I agreed, and quit my job.
What I wasn't told was that I would be the errand boy/baby sitter of TWO children. One being a three month infant, and the other my one and half year old brother knocking on the door of toddler-hood. Couple this with the overstimulation and hyper extroversion that is my father's life and now you have a scenario where I'm not really any more happy.
I'm not a mean person, but I'm definitely not the most welcoming person either, and I can only feign niceties for but so long. I'm starting to reach my limits. I went from living with my INTJ mother and ESTJ stepfather to living with my ESFP father/stepmother combo. From being left alone to surf the internet as long as I had a job and did things here and there that they asked for. To having to ALWAYS go out and do something. I have to watch babies that vomit and puke on me, and I'm definitely not a baby person. I dont find them cute, I dont find them funny, I find them smelly and annoying. They cry, they can't speak, and they're a waste of money. I dont ever want kids.
Now some might read this and go "they're just babies, it can't be that bad". Normally, you'd be correct. But I'm on younger sibling number four. This is the fourth time I've had to deal with helping raise infants. I've done in once for my sister who's five years younger than me, but I had little responsibility so I can't complain. I just remember the times when she was 3 and I was 8 and her being insufferable from then until about now when she realized I just like to be left alone. So what is that, 12 years? I've dealt with it with my first little brother who's ten years younger than I. At this point I had real responsibility. I changed him, watched him, dealt with him, got yelled at for disciplining him, and a bunch of other shit I didn't want to go through again. He's ten now, and when he stops talking to goddamn much he'll be pretty fun.
At this point, I thought I was finished. 7 years went by from the time that my last sibling was born, and now my father and stepmother have decided to have little rugrats of their own. When they first told me of this I was in college and I was glad for them, but I didn't care because I was slowly getting to the point where I would see my parents less and less, so they can do whatever they wanted as long as it didn't affect me. The first baby was born and I had little to do with the infancy. Jump ahead a year later and I find out they're having ANOTHER fucking kid. Sure whatever, I dont mind another sister. I'm not watching this one either...or so I thought.
I dont really know how to describe the emotional turmoil I went through the next few months, but at the end of the day I left my school and took a semester off. This lead me to get another job, and the story picks up where this blog began.
So now I'm 19+ and I'm helping raise my fourth round of babies, oh not to mention the babies that my aunts and stepmother's sisters have had conveniently around the same time so that we'd all grow up together. Moral of the story? I'm fucking sick of children. No more fucking kids. I can only hope that my future wife shares a similar sentiment. Hopefully the world is in such utter disarray the the requirements for a permit to have children are so drastic that I can't have one any way. Trust me, I wont be the one complaining.
I want to be left alone to do what I please. I want to go to art school, get my degree. Get the fuck out of dodge and start my life.