by, 10-14-2011 at 03:15 PM (141 Views)
I'm new to all of this..so I'm not sure how all of this works yet. I really just wanted a place to write about things and maybe hear some unbiased words in return.
I'm single. I live alone in a small apartment off campus from the university I attend/work. I stay very busy, but I still seem to find time to dwell on being alone. Usually during the night time.
I've had some long term relationships. I dated one guy for 4.5 years and another for a year. I have just been single for 4 months, but I feel like I am the type of person that always craves a companion. I am an ENFJ.
I never really fell in love with the two men I dated. I just really want to find someone that I am crazy about..and have them feel the same way about me in return. I have really only loved one man..and I still love him to this day, but I know I will never be able to be with him. He is married with 3 children. But I think about him frequently. I have thought about him ever since I met him 6 or 7 years ago..Even when I was with my other boyfriends, he never left my mind.
I wonder sometimes if If anyone I ever meet will ever drive him away from my thoughts..and I wonder if I will ever find anyone I truly want. I have had men interested in me, but I just don't feel anything for them. I want it to be real this time, I don't want to settle. I want the magic. I just want it to happen for me..but I am doubting it ever will. It would make my life too perfect..it is unrealistic.