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New years eve to me is much less of a time marker to me than christmas.
Christmas gives you unrushed, alcohol free, traditions that give you time to think about where you were, who you are, where you are going and who you want to be.
so people ask me for new years resoloutions, and my answers are things i have considered to be important to me around christmas time. the things i saw that were positive in my life, the things i feel need to change.
so the new year begins soon!
What joy it brings,
bringing nervousness, but not fear
bringing change, but not panic
I will have the same friendships, with more time to grow them
The same course, but a deeper knowledge
The same path, but a different point
The same comfort, but in a different role
The same faith, more time to grow it
The same Love, but more able to freely share it
The same brokenness, but on a journey to healing
my 2010 begun with many changes. In how i lived my everyday life. I felt like i actually had some power in my life to choose the direction that pleased me. Got into a course, Finally got happy with my direction. Got sick- but i had been sick for a while > had surgery > Improved. found contentment. It was a terrible year, but there was so much growth.
I am now facing the end of 2010 and change is upon me again, but I face It knowing more about myself. I face It as an Independent
Here I stand, freer than I have been in a long time
I fell some of the confidence i had when I was 7, when I could sing up on a stage, have a ball, and even if i knocked the microphone off the stand, or made a mistake it didnt put me off, I just kept singing.
as I got older, got bullied, got hurt, saw the world as a less safe place.-
I lost this innocent confidence and started to be overpowered by the darkness, by the urge to hide, the proven fact that if i
there have been so many times recently that an idea has just jumped into my mind fully formed, no idea where it came from no idea where it it will lead me.
It has led me to places i have been before, paths i have strolled along, places i just rushed past in a hurry, it has led me to look, breathe in, feel and truly immerse myself in the world around me.
The feeling that I have a purpose, someone is leading me, someone is guiding me in a direction, I cannot know where i