Lost in Oblivion

When I think of tragedy, I think of something that has affected my life greatly in a negative way - something that sticks yet contributes something to my entire character as a whole. Behind it all, I subconsciously believe that there is some "meaning behind tragedy." And often times, there is. Some meaning can be accrued from tragedy - it builds character and perhaps a steely resolve.

Yet I am faced with tragedy from which no meaning can be ascertained.

8 months ...

As I write this, I find it difficult to compose my thoughts. I worry that it might not be as profound as it could potentially be, but I do not feel that worry. Right now, I don't quite feel anything.

I blame the medications for these; before I had felt a large spectrum of emotions, perhaps too large - but that is what I am used to, and being stuck in an emotional stasis leaves me to be but content with what I have, and that is stability.

Overall, I find this stability and ...

Too much energy collecting inside of me. Displacing it incorrectly and too fast. Until I'm at peace again, I'll come back.

Don't know how long that will be but that's just the way it goes, I suppose.

It's best if people don't talk to me right now anyways. Too much chaos will erupt.

Anyways, if you want to contact me, you can't right now. It's probably better for you anyways. I'm erupting too much and it's hard to control.

Sorry.

Lately, I've been having a crazy amount of realizations. It's like every 5 seconds, I'm connecting new information in my head and making sense of all of it. How did I not see all of this before??

However, I realized that this cognizance stemmed from one point. And as I traced my thinking back further, I realized exactly how I discovered this one point and this abundance of new information.

The simple metaphor I will use for this 'excavation,' because that's really what ...

A rift has emerged in my mind - the division of truth as it penetrates through my thoughts has caused a sense of discord. I will attempt to explain; there are two sides of me which I have come to distinguish as two separate identities: 'myself,' and 'my self.'

'Myself' is the sense of self that I readily feel. It is ever-present, it is seen by about everyone. Many people see different aspects of me - what they, more importantly, [i]choose[/i] to see. I am a diamond not in the image ...