by, 06-18-2012 at 08:58 PM (122 Views)
Sometimes I wonder how resilient my heart is... I have a love, but she is far away. She is far in both distance and emotion at the moment. It's always hot and cold with her. As a man who loves a challenge, I have this desire to be with her. As a rational person, I hear my brain screaming to run because she is awful to me sometimes. Still, she has an effect on me like no other person. I don't let things die easily. If her and I have one thing and nothing else, it's passion.
I only wonder how long it will be before I finally just stop letting her hurt me. When will I shut the door on her permanently? I tried before, but I wasn't strong enough to keep it shut. To have her to suffer through this world without my endless love and figure it out on her own seems cruel. She's been through a lot. I want to be a constant for her.
I can't go into any more details right now. She was supposed to call me tonight, but she didn't. It doesn't surprise me. She's not very trustworthy. Still, I believe we are only as good as our word. Why does she choose to damage her very reputation by not following through with what she says she is going to do? It hurts me.