Why am I still awake when it's almost 4.30am?
by, 08-30-2012 at 01:27 PM (52 Views)
I'm meant to be breaking out of this bad sleeping pattern/habit. I'm meant to start obsessively studying and cleaning when I wake up in a few hours! I've wasted the last two days obsessively introspecting, trying to figure out things in my head and what the hell is wrong with me and who I am. That's not going to get me through my degree!
Hadn't looked at enneagram stuff in a while, and didn't remember ever coming across tritypes. I'm thinking I'm a 4-5-9 or maybe a 4-7-9, but since tests sometimes say I'm a 5w4 (rather than the usual 4w5), I'm thinking it's the former. I guess maybe I feel like the latter when I'm in a rather good mood (or come across as one when pretending to be in a rather good mood). I know I do share a fair few traits with the 7s. Time and more obsessive introspection will tell, I suppose.
One weird note, I suddenly became incredibly conflicted about Dali yesterday. I've always loved him. Then yesterday afternoon I watched a documentary in which there was a clip of him in an interview boasting about kicking a blind man, calling it his most Surreal act. Yeah, I get it, I guess - he hates how blind people shuffle slowly down the street and then by kicking one, the man was further down the street than he otherwise would have been despite the kick being an incredibly cruel thing to do. That and I guess it was Surreal because of breaking a social norm (and just out of nowhere, on an impulse) and the taboo of treating someone less advantaged with such cruelty. But also, dude, don't you have any empathy?! So I was repulsed by that. However, later on in the documentary, there were clips of him near the end of his life, being interviewed in a wheelchair, hooked up to tubes, so incredibly frail, and I wanted to cry. (Then, to play devil's advocate to the kicking incident, it's highly likely he had schizoid/schizotypal personality disorder, which would account for his incredibly low level of empathy, and also many other aspects of his personality. Apparently he was even prone to psychosis. He was rather tragic in a way.)