Lady Lullaby

Just Too Much

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by
Lady Lullaby
, 08-07-2012 at 12:57 AM (206 Views)
I have been wanting to put this into words for a really long time. I know I'm too tired to really do an adequate job; but I just have to get it 'out' so I can put it to rest.

I can't seem to express the depth of 'overwhelm' I feel at least once a week when I consider the sheer magnitude of the earth
and the huge number of people living on it. When I visit PerC and read posts by people whose username is new to me, it triggers this ever-present awareness of the fact that the world is teeming with people. Human beings who feel, struggle, suffer, cry, laugh, love, ache etc. all around the world. I am reading only one minuscule post at a time but it represents the inner-world of one of the billions of humans in existence.

Why do I think about that? What can it possibly do but make me feel small, insignificant, and helpless? I believe in God. I believe He knows each of us, loves each of us, and is involved in each of our lives. Ultimately, He is where I turn when I experience these feelings of 'overwhelm.' But I still have this flickering inside that wants to connect with a few of these other fellow earthlings on a personal level. And I do connect - IRL and here on PerC. But when I start to feel the 'care' for them that always swells when I learn more about a person, then I feel overwhelmed and want to float out into space - far away from any of the 'feelings' and 'needs' and 'messages' I'm picking up.

Is that normal? Is that just introversion? Or is this a problem? I don't know how to classify this reoccurring sensation. I want to understand what it is on a psychological level so I can just file it away. When I feel sadness, I know what it is. When I feel excitement, I know what it is. But saying that I feel 'overwhelmed' and 'connected' and 'concerned' and 'lost' all at once not only doesn't make sense, but these words don't truly explain what I'm experiencing. So I just return again in prayer - God, please bless each one and help me trust that they are in Thy care....and I work to focus on one person, or one task, or one idea at a time. Maybe that's all that can be done. But maybe there is something more to this....

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Comments

  1. dxlp30's Avatar
    I think you may be the only one truly capable of answering those questions. I'm not a religious person, but I'm open to the concept that anything is possible. You shouldn't feel insignificant. We all exist, regardless of why; every atom in the vastness of the universe has at least an impending purpose. Finding reasons for things is hard, but half the fun in discovering is the getting there. A never ending journey is sometimes more fun that getting to a destination. I can't perceive what you're thinking, but I understand the concept of the intangible. Human verbal abilities haven't caught up with our brains yet, I think.
    You may never file it way. That's okay. Some things need to float forever on our minds, constantly reminding us of the things we need to be reminded of.
    Lady Lullaby thanked this post.
  2. Mango Kiwi's Avatar
    After reading your heartfelt, people loving blog- I knew you had to be either an INFP or INFJ so I had to look it up. ;)

    You are such a feeler and care for people and that is awesome. But I have learned recently about my own level of same that spending most of my time and energy worrying about that only takes away from myself which then will take away the little bit I can give back to those I can.

    There is no way you can be responsible for everyone. So channel that loving energy into a cause or two. Or into certain people where you can make a difference. And doing that not only energizes those people to go on and help someone else- it inspires others to do the same.

    Spin these feelings into the most positive thing they can be. You have a huge heart! So don't look at it negatively because it is anything but!! (The world is lucky to have you so giving it a lil bit of your awesome-ness is HUGE.)
    Lady Lullaby thanked this post.
  3. blissfulpeach's Avatar
    I totally understand what you mean. I believe it is because God has created each of us as unique individuals and that he loves us so much. We are created in His image and likeness. He is holy, just, and creator of all things. His ultimate love for us caused Him to send His only begotten Son to redeem us and to reconcile us to Him. His holiness, justice, goodness, and love for humanity is what you are feeling and it can not help but manifest itself in love and concern for others. It can not help but cause the soul to gaze in wonder at our God. The Psalmist said "When I consider Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, The moon and the stars, which you have ordained. What is man that you are mindful of him And the son of man that You visit him?" Psalms 8:3-4. You have a beautiful heart, Lady Lullaby.
    Lady Lullaby thanked this post.
  4. gps1784's Avatar
    Hello Lady.

    What you do is nothing to be worried about. I do this too when I connect with people, but being a T, not a F, I cannot handle the emotion of connection as well. So I have to drift away with nearly any emotion, because I just can't handle it. Your F makes you a much better people person. And we are here for a purpose.

    Do something great, and Godspeed,
    gps1784
    Lady Lullaby thanked this post.
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