A Simple Game of Genius
by, 10-26-2011 at 12:01 PM (635 Views)
For the past... well, for a really long time, I've been pretty much been feeling dry in my romantic life. It was caused by a lack of want and desire in the people I saw and it all felt just like crap to me.
However, for the past few weeks, that has not been the case. Saying the L word is perhaps something too early but I have to say that I am really feeling the symptoms. Now I feel a sense of longing towards someone and somewhat a strong need to do something about it. Something in me this time is much more aggressive compared to previous encounters and it's a pretty uncanny feeling to me.
Much of my recent happiness was as a result of this site and it's people, slowly but surely nurturing me back into proper health and confidence after some pretty hard times. I was pretty confused but now, well, at least I see clearer than previously.
There was a saying and I'm not really too sure who to give credit to for coining it but it went somewhere along the lines of "If you can't get someone out of your head, it could mean that they're supposed to be there". Right as this very moment, I cannot get this person out of my head. It is killing me and keeping me alive at the very same time. It is making me procrastinate my work and worry about it all simultaneously.
This strong feelings inside of me is extremely disturbing.
As usual, I over conceptualize these things... think about it way too much for my own good. Then again, this could be an intuitive trait. Not a healthy one, but a very human one. We are all in some way subject to our own desires.
This may sound redundant after posting it several times on other threads but I'm a man that often "demands a sign from God" when I'm facing such situations. Much of it usually revolves around extremely tentative signs but this time, I find the evidence in some manner, extremely compelling.
Noel Gallagher, former songwriter of Oasis is a man I often refer to as God being a fan of his work and Oasis. Heck, all of his fans refer to him as God. He was supposed to release a solo album after the band split.
At the same time, I found this girl. Couldn't stop staring at her. It was incredibly serene to me. A strong sense of want and desire burning through my soul, demanding that my eyes be fixated upon her more and more. It was painful to not look at her.
Then one day, she looked back. We held a gaze and it lasted longer than usual for some odd reason, I detected a sign of happiness in our gaze coming from her side. It's as if she was happy I noticed her or as if she enjoyed the attention. It was magical to me.
It was in class and one day, I found out her name was Cecilia...
Finally, after long anticipation, Noel's album was released. Along with it, a B-side track, A Simple Game of Genius. The first few lines;
Close your eyes and I will be with 'ya
I'm in the song that's risin' over 'ya
Close your eyes and drift away"
And all of this within the same week. To add further to that, the song used the term Kaleidescope Eyes, a term by the Beatles in their song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds in which I use to refer to girls with extremely beautiful eyes that I couldn't stop looking at, same like Cecilia's....
The feeling was extremely unsettling as it was fucking awesome.
Was this my sign from God? Could it get any more damn obvious than this? I don't know... but so much of the song spoke of what I seek in life and a relationship. It was a simple game of genius if you ask me.
Now I feel more than desire, a sense of duty. I had to go after her, get to know her and if all is well, make her mine.
I'm not too sure where all of this will go. Perhaps I am just ranting out feelings in which I needed to express but right at this very moment, there is a strong stirring feeling inside of me, one that cannot be simply just ignored.
I don't know if I will succeed or fail. I don't know what will become of me with either outcome but all I know is that right now, I need to do something about this. Just pray that she doesn't already have a boyfriend lest I wanna be an ass with myself.
Well, there will be a time and place again. There, I will find that whether or not the will of a single man, can change a history of broken agony and promises. I have come far in the past few months and I only intend to go further...