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Beautiful pain, I inflict upon myself
For when I finally break
Its like nothing I’ve ever felt


But When I see the light, its that much brighter
Beautiful pain, you’ve made be a fighter

For I know you will never leave my side
Its the world off my shoulders, after every time I cry

I know soon, you’ll come creeping up on me
We’ve got a bond, you make me complete
Beautiful pain, you fill me with emotion
This beautiful ...

Cold blooded, no feeling,
no remorse, no being
Numb and dead
Twisted head,
ripped and torn
my conscious scorned
violent blows
start in rage
Killing more
Then the plague
Piled bodies
Left to rot
some I sliced
some I shot
Fear still in eyes
They're left to rest
I still continue
On my quest
to Hunt my prey
to make them pay
for all the damage
they didn't create

Its been a while since I been on here, Kind of steered away for a bit. I Don;t much like how this site is laid out. Anyway, I thought I'd give it another shot, I came on here originally filled with emotion and ready to vent it all out through writing. Of course I sat here staring at this page for 5 mins trying to figure out where to start. I still don't know to be honest, I am so lost, I have no idea wher eI am going and I am running out of creative ideas to express and channel My thoughts and emotions. ...

I like to think I am pretty aware of who I am, I have devoted much time over the past into changing many thought and behavior patterns that effect me negatively, building self esteem and self awareness. I have been speaking with a Councillor over the past couple months which is my final step into change. So far so good :)
There is one thing that I cannot seem to fight, no matter how hard I try, no matter how many times I throw Myself in social situations, I just don't feel a sense of belonging, ...