Let down after let down. How much further down is possible?
by, 08-05-2012 at 03:41 PM (151 Views)
The logic: my friend never turned up to our 2pm arranged meeting time today. 4pm passes, no sign. Must have been busy. Ill? Tired? Tired of who?...Me?
The heart: I conciously make every possible move to not dissapoint anyone, the people pleaser, that's me. Why is it then that I'm never the pleased person? Of course it's not my friend's fault, there must be a reason I'm consistantly and without fail let down. Falling deeper. And deeper.
Perhaps it's a sign. Perhaps my purpose is simply to adhere to the wishes and expectations other people have of me. Perhaps for some undiscovered reason I was simply not meant to discuss my own personal issues and overwhelming difficulties I'm experiencing. But why must I always be the helper, why am I never the helped? The carer...never the cared for.
Tomorrow is a new day, a window of new possibilities, maybe, just maybe, I'll be a step closer to understanding the purposelessness I feel in myself.