Jack Rabid

My D-I-V-O-R-C-E

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by
Jack Rabid
, 01-05-2010 at 03:29 PM (908 Views)
[B]The ongoing musings of a type 6 Counter-phobe[/B]

By Decree of Leicestershire County Court I am officially
DIVORCED!!!!!

I have dreaded this moment for well over a year ..
The power that word has had over me, the value I placed on it has been soul destroying..

Why?

I feel absolutely fantastic .. I feel like the dead weight of all my failures has been lifted.
I feel free .. I feel me
I feel like standing a roof and screaming
[B]" Take that you fuckers!!!" [/B]

I would have never dreamed I could feel so alive again..So right in myself

My ex wife is lovely.. But I should have never married her..
and NOW I know what has been my problem for the last 3 years..

But I forgive myself..

I apologize to those who had to bear the brunt of my shame..
To those who told me "it doesn't matter..it's just a word"..
To my bosses for their patience as I struggled with simple daily living..
To my friends that I closed off from..
To my dear Lover who I pushed away and hurt time and again
and to my ex wife who should have never been there in the 1st
place..
You deserved better
I miss you all..

It's over and I am still alive..

Sometimes what you think you fear is simply what you really need..

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Comments

  1. pinkrasputin's Avatar
    Is this an Academy Award acceptance speech? ;)

    Happy for you. You need champagne. Or wine. Or something. I think I had wine. Congrats!
  2. Selene's Avatar
    I'm glad you're feeling so good about this. If things turn out to be more complicated, don't hesitate to post another blog entry. [hug]
  3. Jack Rabid's Avatar
    Thanks.. its also quite sad in ways.. especially the collateral damage caused to others.. but it is certainly not the monster I thought it would be..
    I can't understand why I feared this so much..
  4. pikmenbattlehealer's Avatar
    One question--were you always type 6, or did that evolve at some point in your life. Be glad your not a snuggle bear---or are you. Those infp's, i presume would be taken like chumps based on hearing one RN complaining before a math class. I did not read your article---but maybe i will :)
  5. Jack Rabid's Avatar
    I am not sure i am a type 6 or ever was.. It just sounds cool.. don't you think??
    I test as an INFP lately.. but fuck that.. real INFP's are not fuzzy animals at all.. Fi is stubborn and self centered .. and Ne is very intellectual..

    Most self professed INFP's are probably ISFJ's LOL
  6. MyLittleBlackHeart's Avatar
    Your mistakes do not define you now, they tell you who you're not. -3DD
  7. addle1618's Avatar
    ...0/\0...
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