To a Significant Person in My Life

You’ll have to excuse me for taking the coward’s route and posting my (current) opinion of you here – where the likelihood of you actually reading this is unguaranteed – as opposed to telling you directly. There’s just no way I could bring this up in casual conversation, and PMs in the past have a habit of blowing up spectacularly in my face.

I do not know where I stand with you. Try as I might, I find it very difficult to understand you. In one moment you can be warm; the next, aloof and distant. My irrepressible curiosity often grates on the wall that is your intense need for privacy. There is no sense of predictability to our interactions, and it unnerves me.

You are a good person, that much I know. I would even go as far to say that I am fond of you. But I do not know if I have the emotional fortitude to handle you. There have been days where my heart feels like overly delicate glass threatening to snap and shatter, and the only way to prevent that from happening is to disconnect myself and engage you from the faraway perspective of a mere observer. And I am so afraid of hurting your feelings (which I do with reprehensible ease); my trepidation makes it feel as though I’m treading on thin ice. It is tiring.

Nevertheless, I have much to thank you for. You taught me about restraint and the irrevocability of words, and the importance of being sensitive. Because of you, I have relearned compassion and become more adept at expressing it. Because of you, I have come to recognize the power of positivity and the light it bestows on people’s lives.

Even though we may never be able to reconcile our differences, you would forever have a place in my heart. Tumultuous the times we shared might have been, but there have been fond memories amongst them, those of which I would always cherish.

- your flat-faced friend (I swear the alliteration here was unintentional)