by, 02-24-2011 at 10:21 PM (347 Views)
Confrontation is not my thing. However, I will do it if I know I have to. I'll speak up if someone I care about is screwing up. It takes a lot to get me to speak up if someone is screwing me over, though.
Well, I have been dealing with an apathetic drummer. He takes almost two days to respond to texts asking if he can practice, and texts are the only way to reach him since he doesn't check his email, isn't on Facebook, and doesn't have enough reception where he lives to get a phone call. He shows up late, calls off at the last minute, and doesn't even bother to listen to constructive criticism. I knew it was time to deal with it, and that was my plan tonight.
I had a nice, diplomatic approach set. I was going to ask him if he was actually into this band, citing the evidence I just gave as reasons I am questioning him. I would give him the chance to defend himself, if he wanted, and tell him he shouldn't stay in the band if he wasn't into it, and he would have to shape up if he wanted to stay. This conflict never happened. He didn't show up. He didn't call off. Done and done. Time for a new drummer.
But the guitarist announced he has joined two cover bands, and he thinks he can split his time between them, a solo cover gig, soccer, a 40+ hour a week job, and a girlfriend. This could have blown up, but I did my best to express my concerns about stretching his time and abilities, and tried to let it go after he went on the offensive with a few insulting comments about how we are a once a week practice band and he needs to make money playing music. Basically, I know he can be a jerk and say things to hurt people when he's frustrated.
This was a challenging evening. I am very glad it's over.