horsewhisper3

I didn't have an INFJ parent, I had an ISFJ parent. On one level we didn't really connect at all - she didn't get my abstractness, my theorizing, my bent on the impractical and the fantastical, she wanted me to stick to the books and do what her life had proven to her would work for me. On another level, however, she was an intriguing mystery to me - she kept the details of her life from me, generally out of modesty, and it was clear that we thought in two very different ways. I have become more interested in her as a person as I have gotten older, not less.

I am an infj and have a great relationship with my child. (she is grown and on her own). I am extremely proud of her. She is independent, successful, and has good morals. She remembers me as a loving and kind mother. In her early years, we had a near perfect relationship. The only time we had trouble was during her teen years because of being so opposite. However in her later teens, we learned to adjust. We sat down, laughed at our differences, and made a truce. We realized we were polar opposites and accepted it. We talk and text nearly every day. We don't always see eye to eye, but respect each other.

Thank you, this feels very reassuring to me. :) Ive often been told Im very good with kids and some people are blown away with my patience with them but the relationship going bad or my own children not liking me is a big fear for me. Any advice you can give me about parenting for when I have my own kids some day?

Originally Posted by blissfulpeach

I am an infj and have a great relationship with my child. (she is grown and on her own). I am extremely proud of her. She is independent, successful, and has good morals. She remembers me as a loving and kind mother. In her early years, we had a near perfect relationship. The only time we had trouble was during her teen years because of being so opposite. However in her later teens, we learned to adjust. We sat down, laughed at our differences, and made a truce. We realized we were polar opposites and accepted it. We talk and text nearly every day. We don't always see eye to eye, but respect each other.

And you sound like a very proud mother, Im very happy for you. I can tell what a dedicated and loving mother you are by just reading your paragragh good for you. :) and thanks!

Originally Posted by horsewhisper3

Thank you, this feels very reassuring to me. :) Ive often been told Im very good with kids and some people are blown away with my patience with them but the relationship going bad or my own children not liking me is a big fear for me. Any advice you can give me about parenting for when I have my own kids some day?

Bear with them. They might seem foreign or alien to you, but if anything perhaps an insight into cognitive functions and/or enneagram can help you figure out what to expect, what might be going on in their own mind, perhaps even how to best relate to them.

INFJ with INFJ mother here, we get along just fine. Other siblings at times consider her too meddling/bossy

Thank you. The best advice I could give is take time to listen to what your child is truly saying to you. Be interested in the things that interest them. I always told my daughter that I was there to help guide her to be what she wanted to be. I did that. I supported her in reaching her goals and dreams. I did not force my own dreams or goals on her that is a big mistake I see with some parents. (For instance, a dad always dreamed of being a baseball star so he pushes his kid to play the game whether the child wants to or not.)