by, 07-17-2012 at 07:58 AM (87 Views)
I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth this morning, when I heard my parents wake up. I was running the tap when I heard my mother say from her room "well there's someone in the bathroom now". A minute later, I turned off the tap because I didn't need it running while I was brushing with toothpaste. I heard my dad say from the hall, "there's nobody in the bathroom now". He could have walked 4 steps to look inside the bathroom, but he just heard no running tap and assumed that no one was in there. My mother then walked to the bathroom and said "he's still in there" and then proceeded to the kitchen. My father then walked by and said to me "you need to learn efficiency". He also turned on the bathroom fan. He does that sometimes. I'll be brushing my teeth or washing my face, and he'll turn on the fan for no apparent reason. It's actually really obnoxious. He's not even the one using the bathroom, and he's turning on this loud fan. And how the fuck does he tell me that I need to "learn efficiency" when he doesn't even know how long I have been in there? IMO, he blurted something out, subsequently was proven wrong, then wanted to savor some pride by putting blame on me for being too slow.
There is no confronting him. He'll get defensive and demeaning. He won't be straightforward. If I told him that he doesn't need to turn on the bathroom fan when someone else is using the bathroom, even if I'm dead serious, he'll probably make some stupid (and defensive) joke about it. He won't joke like "oh let's laugh it off". He'll joke like "well I had a good reason to turn on the fan! XYZ reason". If I get serious and say "I'm serious. Stop doing that. I don't like it" he'll say "don't take things so seriously. This is a very minor thing". If I confront him about the comment he made about me needing to "learn efficiency", he'll get very defensive as well. He'll probably say "well you're always very slow. And everyone can benefit from being more efficient".
This is why I would like to move out. My parents want me to stay around and help pay their mortgage, but I will not. The biggest problem is that whenever I confront them about something that they do that bothers me, they take on the attitude that whatever they are doing is OK, and that whoever gets bothered by it needs to change. They think that they're always OK, and that it's others that need to change. Conflict is normal, but a lack of conflict resolution makes differences irreconcilable.