Ethanol, clean fuel from A to Z
January 11 2012 - Invasion of Privacy
by, 01-11-2012 at 04:31 PM (305 Views)
If there's one way to piss me off, it's when you invite yourself where you are not welcomed. I don't mean this in a physical sense, though that is part of it, but I also mean this in a metaphysical sense. It's funny to say I enjoy my privacy when I have 42 blog posts expounding details of my life and thoughts LOL The irony is apparent.
However, I've never made it a habit to mention my real name anywhere on PerC for that reason ~ to connect without connecting. To share my thoughts and the content of my character within anonymity. There are also topics that I will not discuss.
I do this for several reasons, security being the foremost, separating aspects of my professional and personal life being the second thing (don't want my future employer reading up on me), and in a strange way to leave a half opened door for those I can trust after some time.
I don't snoop. I don't make a habit of googling or facebooking someone's name. I don't even have a facebook.
I only google names for professional reasons - artworks, designs, career information. I rarely google names to find out personal things - photos, journal entries, what they're doing on a saturday night, what their favorite books are; and when I'm in the presence of friends who are doing that ~ I become quite uneasy and feel a slight onset of anxiety and panic creeping up.
My thinking goes like this, if someone is comfortable having you read what they say in one setting/format, it doesn't mean you are invited to read what they had to say in another. Just because I'm ok with having someone read my homework, doesn't mean it's okay for them to read my journal. If I allow you to sit in my living room, doesn't mean you are allowed to sit in my bedroom. If I'm comfortable having PerC read my PerC stuff, doesn't mean I'm comfortable having PerC read my Facebook...etc...etc...
I once had a classmate, who I think had a crush on me, grab my camera looking through all the photos. I was HORRIFIED and demanded for my camera back. He smiled and continued to look through all the photos as if I was joking (which I was not). I had nothing to hide, but having someone you barely know look through your personal things unwelcomed left me feeling exposed in a negative way. I felt annoyed, angry, and very wary of him afterwards. Who does that?
1) He doesn't know how to respect personal space
2) He doesn't know what "no" means
3) He probably has the habit of snooping behind your back if he does it so brazenly in your face
4) This is definitely someone to avoid
No matter how long I've known someone I always respect their privacy. I don't feel comfortable digging through my friend's purses or backpacks, I don't feel comfortable entering a personal room without knocking first, and I don't feel comfortable borrowing a friends laptop or reading what is on their screen. I don't feel comfortable doing any of those things without asking first and some things I don't even ask because it just seems forceful lol
I go out of my way to avoid seeing things that I shouldn't. In a way, I'm afraid to find out more than what is being told.
The best friendships are based on mutual trust and honesty. If there is something that could change the dynamic of my relationship with them, I trust that they would be honest and tell me about it when they are ready or when it is appropriate just as I would. Those are the best kinds of relationships.
I spend quite a lot of time trying to stay informed about the world around me, but when it comes to individuals and their personal lives the phrase "ignorance is bliss" couldn't be more true. Not saying that I don't enjoy learning about them, the truth of the matter is... I do! But what's the point of conversation when you already know everything? Where's the magic of getting to KNOW that person? The lost art of conversation exists in a world where rampant invasion of privacy and the ever self promoting sound bite exists.
There's a process in getting to know someone that spawns through mutual trust and honesty ~ it's a beautiful and fragile thing. Friendship is to be nurtured, not rushed and certainly not through invasion. All things come in due time and only after one can trust.