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  1. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    Julian de Casal

    Luz fosforica entreabre claras brechas
    cuerpos endidos por doradas flechas en la celeste inmensidad, y alumbra del foso en la fatidica penumbra

    Cual humo frio de homicidias mechas
    a la torre de illion escombros hechas
    en la atmosfera densa se vislumbra
    vapor disuelto que la brisa encumbra

    envuelta en veste de opalina gasa, indiferente a lo que el entorno pasa
    recamada de oro desde el monte, mira Elena hacia el livido horizonte
    de ruinas hacinadas en el llano, irguiendo un lirio en la rosada mano
  2. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    Am I the only one who finds it ironic when someone says they're smarter than most people (who are obviously stupid) yet claims to also say they hate pretension. There's a bit of a lack of self-awareness there.
  3. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    Am I an ENFJ, an INFJ, an ISFJ, an ESFJ, an INFP, an ENFP???? ISFP?

    I don't know. I think I relate to Ne and Si, but both at the same time. So, I don't know. Someone typed me as an INFJ, and I made a questionnaire and was typed INFJ as well. But uh, the whole convergent thinking a la Ni I can't relate to. I don't think. Unless it's just so natural in me that I can't pick it up. I don't relate to Fe in the sense everyone says. I don't care about people, and their needs. I may be aware of what people may be feeling (because of course, I can only speculate). I may attempt to play by social rules or do things in interactions to play a certain game because I'm aware. Maybe, sometimes I'm dumb and blind. Is that Fe?

    With Fi, aside from buzzwords about authenticity, I can sort of relate but the whole inner code of morals thing kind of confuses me. I think a lot of the things that compose us are due to things outside of us...but I think that's just a misunderstanding on my part. Perhaps I could relate.

    I relate to Ne, and looking at people like my sister, who I think has a similar personality to mine + remembering my childhood / when I've spoken passionately I think I do tend to use Ne. But I also agree with Si too, in some circumstances.

    I mean, if Ne & Si are about taking in information. Perceiving functions, then I'm kind of lost as to recognizing how the fuck I take in information. I think that's semantics. When I take in information, I just take it in. I think afterwards I use it, and maybe that's me being a dominant Judger. But I don't know. I'm just speculating, I have no clue on anything. I may be talking and saying things and they could all be wrong, I may be giving whoever reads this the wrong idea.

    I think I can rule out Te-dom/aux.

    I would rule out Se-dom but not Se aux

    I would not rule out Ne dom/aux

    IDK Ni & Fi, I mean I guess I can kind of relate to convergent reasoning, but I don't think I'm conscious about it. So I don't know how strong that is, if it's there.

    I would not rule out Fe dom/aux if Fe would not be considered as seeking group harmony, actively. Or I don't know. I'm sometimes non-confrontational but sometimes I am. Sometimes I mold myself to the environment sometimes I don't because it's tiring, but who doesn't do that sometimes???? I mean how much of everything is just normal things humans do and how much of it has to do with my distinct personality?

    Maybe Si dom/aux/tert/inf????????

    What else am I missing?

    Maybe maybe maybe Ti aux or Tert? or Inf? I don't know.

    I am fairly certain I am an Enneagram 2w3 and an sp/sx. Type 2 is the Helper and I probably have no desire to help anyone from a genuine level. It corresponds with Fe, but I could give a shit mostly, as in genuinely, I may be interested, because as a person other people are a source of interest usually. But either way, can't relate, don't necessarily feel empathy.

    I may have given whoever reads my bullshit the wrong idea, because perhaps my ideas are wrong, or wrongly expressed, maybe language is a terrible way to capture and communicate experience and you, nor I will ever understand because the quality of thought is highly dependent on language or whatever. I sometimes go on tangents, which is stereotypically Ne, but is it indicative of Ne? How much is it that I'm just all over the place because I don't understand, and it seems like all the models and interpretations are extensive and overwhelming.

    Some people describe the functions very differently, either through patterns in behavior which I think is usually terrible, because it's usually things like "INFJ's were shy as children" I think there are so many factors that can contribute to shyness in children that have absolutely nothing to do with cognition, or descriptive through things like theory, which I like better because it does not seem to be vulnerable to bias but can't seem to apply to myself (or anyone else).

    - Fi is a subjective value-based reasoning
    - Fe is an objective value-based reasoning
    - Te is objective reasoning.
    - Ti is subjective impersonal reasoning

    but maybe thats all too oversimplified, or maybe it means nothing.

    these are nice to read

    http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive...-attitude.html

    http://personalitycafe.com/cognitive...explained.html

    but still idk

    That little counter thing goes up a little, but everyone seems to be on invisible so maybe it's just me visiting my own page and stuff.

    .Usually what I say is not what I meant to say or how I wanted it to come out, it seems. I may overanalyze or overcomplicate or over look things. Maybe not. What is mine and what is mine due to the mere fact I am a person.
    Updated Today at 04:09 PM by Gossip Goat
  4. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gossip Goat View Post
    It's a gamble if you tell people things about yourself. My sister told someone she's shy and doesn't like confrontation now that they've had an argument they've brought up (passive-aggresively) that they're glad my sister told them and wasn't "fake nice" about it. Which is something they mentioned recently to her. So what do they expect? That she's always shy and non-confrontational? With this person, and with most strangers now, you tell them something and they fill in the gaps with their own imagination or they exaggerate your qualities (non-confrontational > fake nice). So with this person I've been really careful when talking to them, they've asked me weird questions about things like "my inner demon" or "why I'm shy", etc, etc. And a lot of the times the answers we give aren't accurate. Inner demon is a bullshit notion in my opinion, we all get angry or sad or upset and it's just that we happen to be fucking human and this special treatment towards negative aspects of yourself is just absurd. Deal with it without feeling like your negative qualities are some monster that's contained, they're a part of you and everyone else.

    Why I'm shy or why I prefer to be alone is a complicated answer, I don't know the answer. And I don't want to make an attempt that will most likely send the wrong message. So I just tell them it I can't answer. Or it depends. Because it does. I'm not always shy, I'm not always quiet, I'm not always X, Y, Z. Because I'm a person, and people aren't tropes. We would wish others were that simply but we're not. We want to categorize and make sense of things, but we will never fully be able to or do so accurately. I find those kinds of assumptions and extrapolations in terms of absolutes very annoying and very off-putting.

    If you say absolutely anything, they take it too far. My sister complained about her boyfriend and today that person said, in front of someone else, that her boyfriend hated him and that he was XYZ, and then the other person there was like YEAH he's such a bitch. Um. Um. Um? Excuse you? I've never understood why people think it's okay to insult people you love when you vent to them in confidence about problems. Just because I've had problems with a family member or friend doesn't mean I will be okay with you calling them names. Sorry. What a novel idea. The person was very passive aggressive towards my sister. Saying sorry just to get it over with, before doing so adamantly saying it was all a joke (why is it when you're offended or upset everything is suddenly a joke and the offense needs to be absolved?).
  5. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    And I think it makes people feel particularly cheap when in relationships or in friendships or in acquaintanceship when people use them to quench their loneliness. People in love with being in love, you could give a shit about that person. You're using them as a means to an end. People who are bored, or who tell people they have no one else to talk to so there you come in...a)that's rude, b) you're using someone as a means to an end.

    Yeah we're social creatures, but I would want someone to talk to me because they want to talk to me, not because they'd settle for me or because they're just bored and have nothing else to do. I don't want to entertain that kind of relationship and so far that viewpoint really puts me off.
  6. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    How difficult is it generally to figure out whether or not someone likes you in a special way? I don't think it's that difficult to pick up. A lot of the times people are confused about whether or not someone likes them, and maybe that confusion is aided by some kind of wishful thinking. You want them to like you, so you speculate, is friendly behavior too friendly? Does this mean this? Does this mean that?

    Yeah, some people are difficult to read, especially if you don't know them well enough or at all. But if you talk or if you're friends, I think it's not that hard to figure out.
  7. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    If you're going to ask someone out, I think taking a stab in the dark is in general a bad idea. If you don't know the person and if you don't have the slightest inkling of whether or not they like you romantically/sexually/physically, try to come to a conclusion. Donít just go for it.

    Getting to know someone / talking to them doesnít mean anything. Iím talking through self-preservation, I donít want to reject anyone because thereís a one-sided attraction. If you just so happen to get to know someone, I think most peopleís inductive reasoning skills pick up whether or not the person is also attracted to them. Sure, itís a little difficult to tell whatís friendly behavior for that person, and whatís flirtatious behavior, but thatís something I think is generally noticeable. You canít be completely confused as to whether or not someone likes you back in the same way you like them.
  8. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    I don't like it when people that seem to be interested in talking to me keep asking me how are you, how’s it going, hello x100, as a conversation starter. I'm fine, as always, life keeps being stupid sometimes. If someone asked me “out” to eat or a drink I’d say no, which makes me weirder than the rest of the population but no one would know that. Which is why I’d need to suggest something else, like wanna study for the final? Wanna browse the books in the library? Generally anything university related, though not at night.

    But most of the time, I’d rather say no. Like, no, period. Out of the blue, would rather not. There has to be some context. We have to talk first in normal circumstances. And have a good conversation. Not just asking me how's the weather, how I'm doing. Good conversations come out of chemistry, which I have no control over. I think it’s generally obvious as balls when I like someone and they interact with me. I am 500x more excited / talkative, otherwise I am just 250x excited. This isn’t too obvious for people who don’t know the difference. Actually, there isn’t much of a difference externally. Internally I am freaking out. But most people don’t know that.

    I need to google how to let people down, that I’m not interested in them in that way.
  9. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    I think I'm fairly sure of my enneagram, so-so on instinctual variant and I have no clue on my MBTI / Socionics.
  10. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    I've got a presentation tomorrow. And I'm always nervous for those. I'm also the only group of pairs to do it (for some reason), which is a little nerve wracking. I feel like 100% no one will care or think anything bad about me, like at least they don't generally. But I'm just worried it will be obvious I'm nervous, or that my mouth will dry out, or that I will stutter like a maniac. And then people will be like...jesus, calm down. Aren't we awkward?

    I will try to do it slow, as that prevents stuttering + prevents me from feeling rushed or jittery, if I take my time then eventually I will settle into that pace.

    It kinda sucks that someone I went to HS is in that class, but eh, part if me is worried for some reason.

    I also feel like the instructor hates me for questioning what he told me to add to the presentation (because I thought I had already covered everything he told me I needed). So I am worried he'll be extra critical or that he'll take off a lot of points or something... :c The whole point of this presentation is that it's an easy A / a substitution for a test. So it would be a bummer if I got a B.
  11. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    Nice weirdness. But I know better, I won’t pursue, but I will think about it tonight. I won’t do anything at all. I can’t do anything at all, actually. I just like your weirdness. So I’ll just think about it from time to time. And admire it from afar.
    Updated 06-18-2017 at 01:48 PM by Gossip Goat
  12. Plasticbag's Avatar
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    show a him what you love in life, ask him regular kind questions like how he is feeling everyday and so on. if the answers isnt like you have expecting just accept it and move on.

    watch a movie together with lots of chips. recommended movies: american beauty, shutter island and wes andersons movies. everyone likes a good movie, and there u already have a kind of relation.

    move on and go hiking fishing, cook together. get a camera and travel around. have fun and forget the shitty stuff that is happening and just do things. give him space to reload, and keep doing fun things together.

    play games like chess, card games and so on.

    Go and see bands playing live. If u are good at guitar, play for goods sake, if u are not, play for fun. buy a guitar for him, if u think he likes play guitar. take a teacher like pebber brown to learn guitar properly, or give him the advice to start watch pebbers guitar tutorial on youtube.

    i myself and i would love to have a dad like this. ask yourself what u actually think he would love and what u actually want it to be. what does he want to do in life? ask him, what do you acutally want to do?

    you will get a good relation. always forgive, be kind and caring <3
  13. BranchMonkey's Avatar
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    @Maybe

    If you get the chance, read Cult of Personalty Typing by a former Harvard graduate and editor for Psychology Today: informative book that gives the background of not just MBTI but many other personality typing tests such as phrenology. After reading that, I knew it was time to move on.

    I'm doing more harm than good reinforcing people's need for those four letters, and I don't want to do that. I'd like to do some good. :)
  14. Maybe's Avatar
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    I personally don't think mbti has much validity. (or perhaps I'm just unable to apply it to myself)
  15. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    Don't tell me you expected me to have an accent, don't tell me I don't look the way you expected (only looking like it after the fact), this just reeks of stereotypes and ignorance which people try to pass off as curiosity or interest. How is it not? If you're essentially telling me you expected me to look and sound according to stereotypes? This really bothers me and it really makes me look at people differently.

    I’m not asking you to be blind or ignorant to the fact that to you I’m foreign, but I don’t go “omg an American!!!1” “I expected you to be fat, blonde haired, blue eyed, obese with a deep southern drawl drinking Starbucks, tell me you at least voted for Trump????"

    It’s really interesting to me that every other place tends to be considered a monolithic group whereas the US is a glorified melting pot. It’s even more interesting when groups considered “foreign” in their own countries, despite being born there, are also people who do this.
    Updated 06-15-2017 at 02:56 PM by Gossip Goat
  16. Gossip Goat's Avatar
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    In my deluded imagination, I felt as if though the impression I left on someone I spoke to today was positive. Which I later elaborated by thinking it was because we were similar in a few ways. I could be wrong, and it was all neutral. Either way, if that's true then this is all a product of my overactive imagination and the compensatory, selfish, insecure and egocentric desire I have to have others like me in order to feel less like a loser.

    The only reason this even comes to mind, and is seemingly of some importance is because I don't talk to people often, so positive interactions are few and far between. And I tend to magnify or scrutinize the interaction and maybe place a little bit too much value on insignificant things, because, well, there's a lack of significant things to value.

    It's kind of like being afraid of public speaking, you feel more afraid because you most likely don't do it often. Whereas it becomes normal and insignificant if you do it every day.
  17. millestelle's Avatar
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    Depends on what kind of material I'm studying, but generally anything that gets me involved, particularly group discussions and hands-on approach. With hands-on approach, I'm learning it better by winging it than by following point-by-point instructions, if that makes sense?

    I'm not very good with passive listening or reading alone because I get bored or sidetracked easily, but if forced to, writing summaries, highlighting, making diagrams, creating mnemonics or doing something else simultaneously actually helps me concentrate.

    One thing I noticed though, is the way me and my study partner (ISFJ) choose our answers for multiple choices is different - she remembers exactly reading about them, but I'm more 'I'm pretty sure this is the correct answer but I don't know how I arrived at that conclusion'.
  18. BranchMonkey's Avatar
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    @Lord Pixel

    In the beginning of our relationship I used to call us Hansel and Gretel, and talked about how he was like a brother, not just friend, then lover, and finally husband.

    We're best friends, and damn, some of our fights remind me of guys going at it and then the one on the ground is helped up by the one looming over him, both smiling, limping, going off with their arms slung over each other's shoulders.

    I actually have said, numerous times, to my husband, almost verbatim, "Young people today--and not only the young ones, really seem to believe in this stuff about alphas and betas; and have to lock themselves into MBTI profile types, never acting out of "character," and meanwhile, they aren't exploring or learning about themselves, and they're missing out on getting together with someone wonderful for them because rules, man--gotta follow some kind of rules... Where do they learn this, from each other and the media?"

    So I hope I killed it for you, I really do hope you give it a lot of thought and come to see that sure, all of us have conditioning of one sort or another to work through--Authority begins early grinding us down and shoving us into little spice boxes (some more bland or tart or bitter than others), but we don't have to straight-jacket ourselves:

    We can accept the conditioning as a fact and literally, over time, change our own minds:

    It's painful, hit or miss, takes a long time... but it sure beats buying into this sophomoric media-driven drivel and missing out on so many surprises and other lively stuff.
    Updated 06-02-2017 at 03:07 PM by BranchMonkey (Edit for pleasure. Hmm, clarity!)
  19. Lord Pixel's Avatar
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    You're really killing this whole idea, that a girl really just wants the biggest and baddest dude in the room, for me. I don't know what to do with myself now, my reality has been shattered lol. I'm starting to think now that each relationship really is unique and that's not just some claim for people to always place themselves as an exception to a rule that might not even be real. Yall sound like two leaders who bump each others heads in a kind of cute way when watching from afar and when you really understand em.
  20. BranchMonkey's Avatar
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    @Lord Pixel

    He has alpha traits and so do I but if you met us both, you'd think I was the alpha. xD

    We're an interesting mix. Someone said we "flip" or some kind of modern way of saying, "Take turns." I hope you know what I mean--not with an emphasis on sex, but sacrifice, compromise, leading: It isn't always smooth, e.g. the first time we slow danced it didn't go well because I led and so did he.

    I didn't try to lead; I seriously don't know how to follow.

    I grew up in violent homes, neighborhoods, schools... so if I had kept following, I might not be alive today--and I'm not being dramatic; just honest.

    He likes fiery women. He's only been in love twice, and the other woman was a pistol, too.
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