by, 01-20-2011 at 03:47 PM (392 Views)
i was originally going to post this in reply to a thread but then i realized i had spiraled down into a random tangent about j`kaan, the martial art i teach, so i decided to just make a blog entry about it.
i am an example of a more controlling isfj. i like things to be done a specific way, the right way. i'm open to change obviously but until it is proven otherwise, my methods are always the best methods. i know it's irrational but that's just the kind of person i am.
i base my methods off of my entire life of observing the effect and outcome of my actions and decisions and the way i do things. i choose the best outcome and match it up with the best action in my head. i think everybody does this to some extent - that they feel they are correct until shown otherwise.
the issue comes when people like me don't bother to take objective criticism seriously and refuse to change their ways when they are clearly wrong. i have this issue too because the disconnect comes in -- what if this other person criticizing me is wrong? do i really want to risk that? but sometimes it is also pure stubbornness, i have known a few stubborn isfjs. i am a teacher, so my students often see these more controlling "my way" behaviors in me.
i teach martial arts, which require specific sets of clothing and uniform and so on, there is a lot of emphasis on presenting yourself in a respectful and disciplined manner even just with the way they wear their clothing. i tend to focus on body language and self-expression and so on. it is a very tough curriculum, and i have really really high standards for my students.
i do teach children, but i don't teach children whose parents sign them up, i tell them to go somewhere else. because the martial art i teach is foreign and i learned it in a foreign country to canada - forcing someone to comply with the standards of this art will not work. it isn't for self-defense, it is an offensive martial art, so people who come to this class cannot be trusted with it unless they themselves want to learn it and discipline themselves to learn it. they have to want to do it. they have to work hard at doing it.
i'm a really tough teacher for this reason: people are not given third chances. if they don't put the effort in, they leave. many people who join my class expect that i will "harden them out", but i won't. they have to harden themselves out. that is the point of the martial art i teach. but i don't give anybody false information, everybody who attends my class knows these things well before they go in.
anyway my point i think is that even the subject that i teach can be considered a controlling subject, i don't think you enter a martial arts classroom and expect to just do your own thing and go at your own pace, it is a controlled and very structured environment so as an isfj with dominant si i do really well in that environment. expectations are very clearly laid out and the people who are there either want to follow those expectations or they leave.
i haven't actually had that many complaints, surprisingly. only the typical "aww"'s of children - who i don't typically teach how to offensively hurt someone. the definition of "offensive martial art" more or less means that it is brutal. i typically teach people to use it defensively, but anyone can use any martial art offensively if they misuse their knowledge.
i think teaching is the only area of my life that i am extroverted in and confident in, my inner "estj" i suppose. i also think at least for the subject i teach, that controlling nature of my psyche is probably best put to use here as i know the best ways to teach what i know.