Title has summed up the topic quite well. Jokes, all centered around MBTI types. Here's a few that I have to present:
1. How many ______ does it take to change a light bulb?
xSFJ: One. Because they have to do everything around here, and no one appreciates them!
xSTJ: Two. One to read the instructions line by line, and the other to argue about the interpretation of them, eventually agreeing and changing the bulb together.
xSFP: Two. One to complain that it's dark, and another to cajole some other type into fixing it.
xSTP: Three. One to try removing the bulb out with a gadget they invented and electrocuting themselves, another to call 911, and a third to laugh at them and do it the right way.
xNFJ: Three. One to talk about the meaning and symbolism of darkness as a metaphor for death/sleep in a larger context, another to try and come to a compromise with everyone else about how the bulb should be changed, and a third to decide to change the bulb so as to provide a prop to share their ideas about the symbolism of light as representing understanding.
xNTJ: Three. One to propose how it should be changed, the other to argue about why their method wouldn't work, and the other to take the initiative on their own to sneak behind the backs of the first two while they argue and change it their way.
xNFP: Zero. They don't want the light to come back, because the darkness reflects the inner turmoil and depression of their souls.
xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time.
An Extrovert, working at the supermarket produce department, is approached by a customer who asks to buy half a head of lettus. The Extrovert, disbelieving, responds, "I don't know, I'll have to ask the manager." He consults the manager, unaware that the customer is following him. "Some idiot wants half a head of lettus..." Suddenly realizing the customer is standing right behind him, he continues without missing a beat, adding, "and this gratious gentelman has consented to buy the other half."
It's a rainy day. The first grade teacher is getting her kids dressed to go home. She struggles for five minutes with one child's boots and shoes, tugging them on and getting them laced up. Just as she's finished, the Introverted child says, "Those aren't my boots." The teacher sighs and spends another five minutes undoing everything; unlacing, unbuckling, tugging, and refitting. Just as she's finished, the child adds, "They're my brother's. My mommy said I had to wear them today."
There's the true story of President Calvin Cooliage, the Introverted-Sensor of all time. At a dinner, a guest sitting next to him said, "I have a bet with my husband that I can get you to speak three words to me." To which Calvin Cooliage cooly replied, "You lose."
Two thieves are pulling off a breaking-and-entering job in a high-rise office building. Suddenly, they hear someone approaching. The iNtuitive thief says to the Sensor thief, "Jump out the window or we'll get caught!" The Sensor says, "You've got to be joking! We're on the 13th floor!" To which the iNtuitive replies, "This is no time to be superstitious! Jump!"
Jim asks his brother Sam to dog-sit while he's out of town. The first night away, Jim calls to check on his dog. Sam, a Thinker, tells him bluntly, "Your dumb dog died." Jim, clearly upset, scolds his brother for his insensitivity. "If you had a sensitive bone in your body, you would have broken it to me slowly. You would have told me, 'Your dog had an accident.' When I called tomorrow, you would have said, 'Well, your dog's condition has worsened.' And on the third night, I would have been ready for the bad news. By the way, while I've got you on the phone, how's Mother?" To which Same replied, "Well, mother's had an accident."
A man with a glass eye accidently swallows it one day. Two weeks later he visits the doctor and complains about stomach pain but doesn't mention the glass eye. The doctor, examining the patient, asks him to bend over. When the doctor takes a look, only to find an eyeball looking back at him, he says, "Listen, if I'm going to help you, you've got to learn to trust me."
There's a flash flood carrying everything down Main Street. A young boy, watching it out the window, notices a red hat that floats by but turns at the corner of the house, only to reverse direction and float by again. Amazed at this phenominon, the boys calls for his mother. She calmly replies, "Relax, that's your father. He said he was going to cut the grass today, come hell or high water."
A budding actor, a Perciever, is hired to perform a one-line role in a play. The line is, "Hark! Is that a cannon I hear?" For two weeks the actor practices feverishly, repeating the line over and over again. By opening night he has master every aspect of his role and in dress rehersal had performed to everyone's satisfaction. The director, sending him out as the curtain goes up, gives the final instruction: "Remember, the whole play is riding on that line." The Perciever walks out on stage, and there is immediatly an enourmous KABOOM! In surprise, the actor blurts out, "What the hell was that?!"
Got jokes? Let's hear 'em!