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This is a discussion on MBTI Jokes within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; Originally Posted by Rachel25Lee xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one ...

  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel25Lee
    xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time.
    Five, actually. You forgot the one that actually changes the lightbulb while the others are arguing about whether to change the lightbulb
    Galaris, Nessie, Aryn2 and 2 others thanked this post.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel25Lee View Post
    xNTP: Four. One to stand there and make sarcastic/humorous comments about everything the others do, one to keep arguing about the definition of "light bulb," another to claim that candles are good enough and this is an unjustified waste of electricity, and a fourth to come in with a comprehensive and difficult to disprove argument that explains why bulbs are the best choice we have right now, convincing the others to let them change the bulb this time...
    ...ONLY to then reveal that he had been trolling the whole time and didn't give a shit about the whole scenario

  3. #13

    Additional Humor

    I hear that. XD Here's some more jokes:

    1. If you prayed:
    ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.
    ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax my focus on insignificant details, even though any of them may cause significant problems later. Begin this tomorrow at 8:31:04 am.
    ISTP: God, please help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE excessively hypersensitive.
    ESTP: God help me to accept responsibility for my own actions, even though problems are usually NOT my fault.
    ESTJ: God, please help me to not try to RUN everything. (But, if You need some help, just ask.)
    ISFJ: Lord, please help me to be more laid back and help me to do that EXACTLY right.
    ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my asking).
    ESFP: God help me to take things more seriously, especially jokes, parties, conversation and dancing.
    ESFJ: God give me the patience I need to deal with things more effectively, and I mean right NOW!
    INFJ: Lord. Please help me not to be so perfectionistic! (Did I spell that correctly?)
    INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta..
    ENFP: God, please help me to keep my mind on one... Look a butterfly! thing at a time.
    ENFJ: God help me to do only what I can, trusting you for all the rest. But would you mind putting that in writing?
    INTJ: Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.
    INTP: Lord, please help me to be a little less independent - but in my own way, of course.
    ENTP: Lord, please help me follow our established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a couple of minutes.

    2. Type Descriptions
    ENTJ: Evil Overlord - Characterized by their overwhelming desire to crush the world benieth their boot.
    ENTP: Mad Scientist - "Not tonight, honey; I'm inventing a gigantic robot that will melt the sun and help me enslave the human race so I can take over the world... Okay, maybe that can wait 'till tomorrow."
    ENFJ: Cult Leader - "See that impossibly high mountain dappled with sharp, ominous rocks? At the very top is where we're going to meditate."
    ESFJ: Control Freak - Ideal for jobs such as middle management at a large chain department store, senior bank teller, and Jedi Master.
    ESTJ: Bureaucrat - Often have an abnormal obsession with being normal at any costs.
    INFJ: Conspiracy Theorist - Common jobs often held by INFJs include vagrant, loony, whacko, and writer/director/producer of the television show "Seinfeld." INFJs can also be found feeding that crucial bit of information to determined FBI agents just before they are brutally murdered.
    INFP: Idealist -Iirrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.
    ENFP: Scientologist - Always seeking the answers to the great mysteries of life, such as "Who are we?" and "How can I use two tin cans and a Radio Shack multimeter to bring enlightenment to the world?" and "What is it with UFOs and anal probing, anyway?" Famous ENFPs include anyone who has ever dated Tom Cruise.
    ISTJ: Thought Police - "Keep the insanity on the other side of the internet, please..."
    ESFP: National Enquirer Headline - Often die in bizarre circumstances, usually involving jealous boyfriends, exotic dancers, escaped pythons, feather boas, and falls from the penthouse floor of high-rise apartments; those who don't, usually die of veneral diseases.
    INTP: Egghead - May be able to tell you how to construct a nuclear reactor from a coconut and two pieces of string, but may be completely incapable of fixing a hole in a boat.
    INTJ: Outside Contradictor - Are often baffled by the strange and incomprehensible recreational rituals of other people, such as going to parties, watching television, and having sex. Instead, they prefer to spend their leisure time installing twin missile launchers in their cars to deter tailgaters.
    ISTP: Psycho Vigilante - Don't often get along well with their extroverted cousins, Evil Overlords and Mad Scientists. Instead, they prefer the company of INTPs, or perhaps their pets. Romantic relationships with ISTPs tend to be drawn-out, tragic affairs, filled with bitterness, longing, and teenage angst.
    ISFP: Crackpot - Seem flighty and their attention span appears short to an outsider; ISFPs live by the motto "Life is best approach--oh, look, potato chips!"
    ISFJ: Martyr - You're spending the entire weekend cooking souffle for your husband's big dinner with his boss or giving over your body as a vehicle for the Shoggoth from beneath the ancient city of the Old Ones so that the Great Gods can rise again, selflessness and service are your hallmarks.
    ESTP: Conman - Your greatest fear is failure. Under no circumstances will you permit yourself that kind of weakness, which makes you ideally suited for a job at Enron, where your natural talents can be recognized and rewarded.


    Both sets of jokes above were not origninated by myself, except the descriptions (discluding the nicknames) on number two for ENTP, ENFJ, and ISTJ (which is probably why they lack the creativity of the others; sorry). Well, there's your other set of jokes. XD
    Last edited by Rachel25Lee; 08-16-2010 at 05:43 PM. Reason: I forgot to put the ENTJ prayer in with number one!!! *cries*
    Mendelevium, Sunflower, Agelaius and 20 others thanked this post.

  4. #14

    I laughed at ENFJ actually.

    ISTJ:

    A group of kindergardener were laughing and playing by the tire swing one day, when little Bobby, an obvious leader and visionary announced that everyone should meet at that exact spot 50 years later to the second! Everyone agreed that would be a really "neat-o" idea. James, the quiet kid sitting "close enough" to the other kids took this opportunity to look at the exact placement of the sun in the sky, the moss on the north side of the trees, taking into account the direction of the wind, and the smell of the freshly cut grass. Almost to the second (he reckons by his own calculations, checking the position of the sun, and the moss again) 50 years later, James walks up the hill where the tire swing used to be, after travelling over 3000 miles by car, train, plane, and taxi, leaving home, wife, and a good Tom Clancy thriller to be here. No one is there, as he expected, but he subtly smiles with the satisfaction that he, and only he, met the obligation to be there.
    Last edited by sinistralpal; 08-16-2010 at 02:13 PM.
    Eylrid, Stoic, Nomenclature and 49 others thanked this post.

  5. #15

    This message was a repeat, so I killed it.
    Last edited by sinistralpal; 08-16-2010 at 02:12 PM.
    Nearsification and I Dream of a Supernova thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel25Lee View Post
    I hear that. XD Here's some more jokes:

    1. If you prayed:
    ISTJ: Lord, help me to relax my focus on insignificant details, even though any of them may cause significant problems later. Begin this tomorrow at 8:31:04 am.
    ISTP: God, please help me to consider other people's feelings, even if most of them ARE excessively hypersensitive.
    ESTP: God help me to accept responsibility for my own actions, even though problems are usually NOT my fault.
    ESTJ: God, please help me to not try to RUN everything. (But, if You need some help, just ask.)
    ISFJ: Lord, please help me to be more laid back and help me to do that EXACTLY right.
    ISFP: Lord, help me to stand up for my rights (if you don't mind my asking).
    ESFP: God help me to take things more seriously, especially jokes, parties, conversation and dancing.
    ESFJ: God give me the patience I need to deal with things more effectively, and I mean right NOW!
    INFJ: Lord. Please help me not to be so perfectionistic! (Did I spell that correctly?)
    INFP: God, help me to finish everything I sta..
    ENFP: God, please help me to keep my mind on one... Look a butterfly! thing at a time.
    ENFJ: God help me to do only what I can, trusting you for all the rest. But would you mind putting that in writing?
    INTJ: Lord keep me open to others' ideas, WRONG though they may be.
    INTP: Lord, please help me to be a little less independent - but in my own way, of course.
    ENTP: Lord, please help me follow our established procedures today. On second thought, I'll settle for a couple of minutes.

    2. Type Descriptions
    ENTJ: Evil Overlord - Characterized by their overwhelming desire to crush the world benieth their boot.
    ENTP: Mad Scientist - "Not tonight, honey; I'm inventing a gigantic robot that will melt the sun and help me enslave the human race so I can take over the world... Okay, maybe that can wait 'till tomorrow."
    ENFJ: Cult Leader - "See that impossibly high mountain dappled with sharp, ominous rocks? At the very top is where we're going to meditate."
    ESFJ: Control Freak - Ideal for jobs such as middle management at a large chain department store, senior bank teller, and Jedi Master.
    ESTJ: Bureaucrat - Often have an abnormal obsession with being normal at any costs.
    INFJ: Conspiracy Theorist - Common jobs often held by INFJs include vagrant, loony, whacko, and writer/director/producer of the television show "Seinfeld." INFJs can also be found feeding that crucial bit of information to determined FBI agents just before they are brutally murdered.
    INFP: Idealist -Iirrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.
    ENFP: Scientologist - Always seeking the answers to the great mysteries of life, such as "Who are we?" and "How can I use two tin cans and a Radio Shack multimeter to bring enlightenment to the world?" and "What is it with UFOs and anal probing, anyway?" Famous ENFPs include anyone who has ever dated Tom Cruise.
    ISTJ: Thought Police - "Keep the insanity on the other side of the internet, please..."
    ESFP: National Enquirer Headline - Often die in bizarre circumstances, usually involving jealous boyfriends, exotic dancers, escaped pythons, feather boas, and falls from the penthouse floor of high-rise apartments; those who don't, usually die of veneral diseases.
    INTP: Egghead - May be able to tell you how to construct a nuclear reactor from a coconut and two pieces of string, but may be completely incapable of fixing a hole in a boat.
    INTJ: Outside Contradictor - Are often baffled by the strange and incomprehensible recreational rituals of other people, such as going to parties, watching television, and having sex. Instead, they prefer to spend their leisure time installing twin missile launchers in their cars to deter tailgaters.
    ISTP: Psycho Vigilante - Don't often get along well with their extroverted cousins, Evil Overlords and Mad Scientists. Instead, they prefer the company of INTPs, or perhaps their pets. Romantic relationships with ISTPs tend to be drawn-out, tragic affairs, filled with bitterness, longing, and teenage angst.
    ISFP: Crackpot - Seem flighty and their attention span appears short to an outsider; ISFPs live by the motto "Life is best approach--oh, look, potato chips!"
    ISFJ: Martyr - You're spending the entire weekend cooking souffle for your husband's big dinner with his boss or giving over your body as a vehicle for the Shoggoth from beneath the ancient city of the Old Ones so that the Great Gods can rise again, selflessness and service are your hallmarks.
    ESTP: Conman - Your greatest fear is failure. Under no circumstances will you permit yourself that kind of weakness, which makes you ideally suited for a job at Enron, where your natural talents can be recognized and rewarded.


    Both sets of jokes above were not origninated by myself, except the descriptions (discluding the nicknames) on number two for ENTP, ENFJ, and ISTJ (which is probably why they lack the creativity of the others; sorry). Well, there's your other set of jokes. XD
    You forgot one!

    ENTJ: Lord, help me slow downandnotrushthroughwhatIdo.

  7. #17

    Coach: Who's goalie for today?

    The whole class: [HandiAce]!

    Me: *Sighs because I'm always goalie in P.E.* Okaaaaaaaaay.
    Traum and The red spirit thanked this post.

  8. #18

    Great jokes, although I don't get these two.

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel25Lee View Post

    4. Sensing
    There's the true story of President Calvin Cooliage, the Introverted-Sensor of all time. At a dinner, a guest sitting next to him said, "I have a bet with my husband that I can get you to speak three words to me." To which Calvin Cooliage cooly replied, "You lose."


    7. Feeling
    A man with a glass eye accidently swallows it one day. Two weeks later he visits the doctor and complains about stomach pain but doesn't mention the glass eye. The doctor, examining the patient, asks him to bend over. When the doctor takes a look, only to find an eyeball looking back at him, he says, "Listen, if I'm going to help you, you've got to learn to trust me."

    Got jokes? Let's hear 'em!

  9. #19

    Quote Originally Posted by Rachel25Lee View Post
    INFP: Idealist -Iirrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.
    Ohh!
    Someone hand me a lightsaber! :D
    Gracerina, InvisibleninjA, LQ9 and 5 others thanked this post.

  10. #20

    You've got an excellent way of percieving types.
    Thanks and nice job!!!


     
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