This is a response to my dear friend Starry. She gave us a very nice post to help us recognize and combat manipulation. In the wrong hands, even her weapon of defense can be used as a weapon of attack. Knowledge is power—so is strategy, cunning, opportunism, etc. etc.
Don’t use your power to alienate your friends if they are smart enough to know they are being manipulated. However, they will not feel alienated, if they are not smart enough to recognize manipulation.
The following is a scenario to use as a formula that has many applications. Yes, it is a tactic on How to Manipulate.
In a college dorm there is Chase and Hunter. In the middle of the night you’re trying to sleep, but cannot because of the ruckus being caused by Hunter, Chase, and others. The primary initiator of the ruckus is Hunter, but Chase is digging it.
You try for several nights to ask the whole group outside your room to settle down with the music and wrestling matches. You even ask Hunter directly. Unsuccessful. Why? Because you and Hunter have never been friends. What reason does he have to honor your request?
Who is you friend? Chase is. And he respects the heck out of you. He asks you why you seem grumpy, and you tell him intensely that he needs to keep his friend under control so you can get some sleep. He says, “Alright.”
You sleep like a baby. An eyewitness of the usually loud group asks you just what the heck you did. Every time things started getting too live, Chase would shush the whole place.
You’ve created an operative.