How to Deal Manipulation

This is a response to my dear friend Starry. She gave us a very nice post to help us recognize and combat manipulation. In the wrong hands, even her weapon of defense can be used as a weapon of attack. Knowledge is power—so is strategy, cunning, opportunism, etc. etc.

Don’t use your power to alienate your friends if they are smart enough to know they are being manipulated. However, they will not feel alienated, if they are not smart enough to recognize manipulation.

The following is a scenario to use as a formula that has many applications. Yes, it is a tactic on How to Manipulate.

***
In a college dorm there is Chase and Hunter. In the middle of the night you’re trying to sleep, but cannot because of the ruckus being caused by Hunter, Chase, and others. The primary initiator of the ruckus is Hunter, but Chase is digging it.

You try for several nights to ask the whole group outside your room to settle down with the music and wrestling matches. You even ask Hunter directly. Unsuccessful. Why? Because you and Hunter have never been friends. What reason does he have to honor your request?

Who is you friend? Chase is. And he respects the heck out of you. He asks you why you seem grumpy, and you tell him intensely that he needs to keep his friend under control so you can get some sleep. He says, “Alright.”

You sleep like a baby. An eyewitness of the usually loud group asks you just what the heck you did. Every time things started getting too live, Chase would shush the whole place.
You’ve created an operative.

Unfriendly Path
You-->Hunter-->unsuccessful

Friendly Path
You-->Chase-->Hunter-->successful

Ciao,
J.M.

Whether someone uses a power for 'good' or 'evil' depends on the person. Everything else is background noise.

Provided Chase has a strong persona.

morale : pick friends who know the noisy people =)

Originally Posted by StarryNights

Provided Chase has a strong persona.

morale : pick friends who know the noisy people =)

"Use your friends wisely."

I seem to be good at getting others to do stuff for me. For example, people have called me a pushover because I don't stand up for myself. I don't consider myself to be a pushover, I'm just good at getting others to stand up for me so I don't have to waste my time on the other person.

You're still being manipulated. You're allowing these guys to make you feel like you're trying to get something you're not entitled to in getting them to act with basic consideration toward you. You're allowing in your own mind the idea that they have any kind of right to behave inconsiderately toward you. So they're still manipulating you, because you're still allowing them to have control and power over you.

You think you've accomplished something clever by using your personal relationship with Chase to get Hunter to behave considerately. But you really haven't, because as soon as Chase is out of sight Hunter will revert to his own inconsiderate behavior.

As long as you believe that you are being the manipulator here, you continue being the one who is manipulated. Manipulation means they've got control and power over you, and they still do.

Originally Posted by Adam

You're still being manipulated. You're allowing these guys to make you feel like you're trying to get something you're not entitled to in getting them to act with basic consideration toward you. You're allowing in your own mind the idea that they have any kind of right to behave inconsiderately toward you. So they're still manipulating you, because you're still allowing them to have control and power over you.

You think you've accomplished something clever by using your personal relationship with Chase to get Hunter to behave considerately. But you really haven't, because as soon as Chase is out of sight Hunter will revert to his own inconsiderate behavior.

As long as you believe that you are being the manipulator here, you continue being the one who is manipulated. Manipulation means they've got control and power over you, and they still do.

You would be right under normal conditions. The entity Hunter is a destructive force and is not reasoned with for courtesy or basic entitlements. It is a catalyst for the entity Chase, which is nearly as destructive, yet is observes a higher consciousness.

Not that I don't see what you're saying (because I do). What is important is that a person creates a means to his/her end.

Hunter is my friend. Leave him alone or you answer to me!

Originally Posted by Troll

This is like describing some kind of defensive judo tactics. But you're still not really the manipulator. You're the counter-manipulator.

Using reason with Chase is a good first move, but you need backup plans because it's not guaranteed to work or to last.
The other options include filing a complaint with the dorm supervisors or administrators, and if that doesn't work then apply to get moved to a different dorm.
If Hunter is that destructive, you'll probably have to get yourself moved sooner or later anyhow, because not only is he unlikely to curb his behavior when Chase isn't around, but if he finds out you filed a complaint against him he's likely to try to retaliate against you.

So you're not trolling anymore?

Now he's trying to imitate other people! I think his trolling just got worse.