Factors for Relationship Compatibility Using the Enneagram - Page 2

Factors for Relationship Compatibility Using the Enneagram

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  1. #11

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    Why?
    Type 2s tend toward Extraversion and Feeling in MBTI. Therefore, an ISTJ Type 2 would be very uncommon. It's not uncommon, however for ISTJs to have 2 fixes.

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    And serious question - could the "lovemap" involve the other person having a position on cuddling, for example?

    *insert shameless Type 9 plug here*
    A position while cuddling, maybe. Just kidding. Yeah, a part of your lovemap could definitely be "I want someone who enjoys cuddling and other forms of physical touch." You'll notice that it's part of your lovemap when you're with someone doesn't like cuddling and other forms of physical touch.

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    What does "reactive" in this sense mean?
    The Emotional Realness (Intensity) Group
    The Emotional Realness Group is composed of types Six, Four, and Eight. These types react emotionally to conflicts and problems and have difficulties knowing how much to trust other people. “I need you to know how I feel about this.” When problems arise, these types look for an emotional response from others that mirrors their concern. In conflicts, the Emotional Realness types want the other person to match their emotional state. “This is really bothering me! It should bother you, too!” The types in this group have strong likes and dislikes. If there is a problem, others are going to hear about it. In conflicts, they need to deal with their feelings first, and usually once they are able to do so, things can blow over fairly quickly and permanently. If they are not able to ventilate their feelings, however, these types can become increasingly resentful and vindictive.

    The Emotional Realness Group types also have difficulty balancing their need for independence and self-determination with their need to be nurtured and supported by others. They simultaneously trust and distrust others: to accept the support and affection of others is a deep desire for these types, but to do so feels like losing control of themselves and of their circumstances. They fear being betrayed and need feedback from people in order to “know where others stand” toward them. They are either looking for advice and direction (“parenting”) or defying it. Subconsciously, Fours want to be parented, whereas Eights want to play the role of parent and provider, and Sixes want it both ways, sometimes being the parent, sometimes being parented by someone else.
    Also known as the Emotional Realness (Intensity) Group by Riso & Hudson.
    OrangeAppled, Donovan, Out0fAmmo and 7 others thanked this post.

  2. #12

    What publication is this particular excerpt from?

  3. #13

    Quote Originally Posted by Kharyzmatiq View Post
    What publication is this particular excerpt from?
    Quote Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast View Post
    Source: Coates, Mona; Searle, Judith. Sex, Love and Your Personality: The Nine Faces of Intimacy. Therapy Options Press. Kindle Edition.
    I always list my sources.
    Out0fAmmo and Jully_Beans thanked this post.

  4. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast View Post
    Type 2s tend toward Extraversion and Feeling in MBTI. Therefore, an ISTJ Type 2 would be very uncommon. It's not uncommon, however for ISTJs to have 2 fixes.

    A position while cuddling, maybe. Just kidding. Yeah, a part of your lovemap could definitely be "I want someone who enjoys cuddling and other forms of physical touch." You'll notice that it's part of your lovemap when you're with someone doesn't like cuddling and other forms of physical touch.

    Also known as the Emotional Realness (Intensity) Group by Riso & Hudson.
    Are you using the Wagele-o-gram? Aww that's disappointing, as well. I'm curious, though - is that not conflation? Like, which form of Feeling does it tend to?

    Ah, alright - thanks . I like this lovemap concept. It sounds interesting haha.

    Hmmm. That quote is interesting... Thanks for linking it! . Which book is it from? (I assume it's not in the book you listed in the source)
    MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.

  5. #15

    YES. I have been waiting for just such a book.


    Matching Personality Subtypes : Refers to your dominant instinctual variant, either sexual (sx), social (so), or self-preservation (sp.)

    - So it's considered most complimentary for instinctual stacks to be the SAME?

    Harmonic Triad Match: Refers to your Harmonic Triad (how each type handles conflict, adversity, and situations in which our needs are not met.) Either Positive Outlook (Types 2, 7, 9), Reactive (Types 4, 6, 8), or Competency (Types 1, 3, 5.)

    - Again, it is best for these to be the SAME? "Reactive" sounds so negative....I wonder if the others are given such a negative slant. I can't see how two reactives is really desirable....? I find this problematic with 6 family members, for instance. We "feed" each other.

    Complimentary Connection Line: Refers to a connecting line in the enneagram diagram, i.e. a shared integration / disintegration line.

    - As noted, you could not have this AND have your harmonic triad matching.... It's seems "sameness" is considered the best here, which does align with MBTI reports about compatibility which use statistics (the closer to your own type in terms of letters - not functions - then the higher the satisfaction ratings tend to be; but many theories focus on function preferences in pairing ideal matches, without any poll statistics to back it up).

    Basically, this gives 4, 6, 8 or 1 & 2 as the 4's best enneagram type matches. I wonder why wings are not considered of any significance Or are they discussed in the book?
    MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast View Post
    I always list my sources.
    Just bought and skimmed the book on Kindle. Highly recommended.
    MBTI Enthusiast and IQ362430 thanked this post.

  7. #17

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    Are you using the Wagele-o-gram?
    No.... what is that?

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    Aww that's disappointing, as well. I'm curious, though - is that not conflation? Like, which form of Feeling does it tend to?
    The book specified per MBTI letter, not cognitive function.

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    Ah, alright - thanks . I like this lovemap concept. It sounds interesting haha.

    Hmmm. That quote is interesting... Thanks for linking it! . Which book is it from? (I assume it's not in the book you listed in the source)
    The Harmonic Groups

    Hope that helps!
    Donovan, Out0fAmmo, snowbell and 1 others thanked this post.

  8. #18

    Quote Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast View Post
    No.... what is that?



    The book specified per MBTI letter, not cognitive function.



    The Harmonic Groups

    Hope that helps!
    It's that spreadsheet inside one of the Wagele books (I'm pretty sure it's Wagele) that has a giant table and different shades of grey contrasting MBTI and Enneagram types. I'm sure if I could find it you'd know which I mean... Or was it you who made it? I know you have some epic spreadhseet somewhere - you've made mention of it several times...

    Yay! It does! Thanks! .
    Last edited by snowbell; 07-10-2013 at 09:20 PM. Reason: Actually no on second thought never mind. Probably wrong anyways

  9. #19

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    YES. I have been waiting for just such a book.


    Matching Personality Subtypes : Refers to your dominant instinctual variant, either sexual (sx), social (so), or self-preservation (sp.)

    - So it's considered most complimentary for instinctual stacks to be the SAME?
    I would think that as an extrapolation, but the book only speaks of dominant instinct matching.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Harmonic Triad Match: Refers to your Harmonic Triad (how each type handles conflict, adversity, and situations in which our needs are not met.) Either Positive Outlook (Types 2, 7, 9), Reactive (Types 4, 6, 8), or Competency (Types 1, 3, 5.)

    - Again, it is best for these to be the SAME? "Reactive" sounds so negative....I wonder if the others are given such a negative slant. I can't see how two reactives is really desirable....? I find this problematic with 6 family members, for instance. We "feed" each other.
    Yeah, the idea is the same group brings compatibility. See post 11 for a different naming system (emotional-realness or intensity group.) It might be good because you would naturally match emotions under stress and not shy away like some (positive outlook triad) types tend to do.

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Complimentary Connection Line: Refers to a connecting line in the enneagram diagram, i.e. a shared integration / disintegration line.

    - As noted, you could not have this AND have your harmonic triad matching.... It's seems "sameness" is considered the best here, which does align with MBTI reports about compatibility which use statistics (the closer to your own type in terms of letters - not functions - then the higher the satisfaction ratings tend to be; but many theories focus on function preferences in pairing ideal matches, without any poll statistics to back it up).

    Basically, this gives 4, 6, 8 or 1 & 2 as the 4's best enneagram type matches. I wonder why wings are not considered of any significance Or are they discussed in the book?
    Yes, this is only "proven" through the author's clinical experience.

    Wings were not mentioned in the book, nor tritype. However, I don't think that wings would matter as much.

    Quote Originally Posted by g_w View Post
    Just bought and skimmed the book on Kindle. Highly recommended.
    Agreed!
    Out0fAmmo thanked this post.

  10. #20

    Quote Originally Posted by snowbell View Post
    It's that spreadsheet inside one of the Wagele books (I'm pretty sure it's Wagele) that has a giant table and different shades of grey contrasting MBTI and Enneagram types. I'm sure if I could find it you'd know which I mean... Or was it you who made it? I know you have some epic spreadhseet somewhere - you've made mention of it several times...

    Yay! It does! Thanks! .
    Yep, in two different Wagele books. I've found the table to be accurate from my research on ISTJ types on this site, too.
    Out0fAmmo and snowbell thanked this post.


     
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