Self-Awareness Tips and Bringing Out the Best in Types 2, 4, 5, 6, and 8 - Page 10

Self-Awareness Tips and Bringing Out the Best in Types 2, 4, 5, 6, and 8

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This is a discussion on Self-Awareness Tips and Bringing Out the Best in Types 2, 4, 5, 6, and 8 within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; Type 6: "When they are being ‘testy’, support them with genuine reassurance to ease their anxiety rather than trying to ...

  1. #91

    Type 6: "When they are being ‘testy’, support them with genuine reassurance to ease their anxiety rather than trying to win the argument."

    This is so accurate! Just last week I discovered that I have this need for genuine reassurance. My girlfriend was trying to give me the other side of a situation when I presented a fear to her, and the conversation wasn't going very well. Finally the light bulb came on as I realized that what I needed to ask for was reassurance and only reassurance in that moment. Now in the future I will hopefully be able to ask for that quickly and easily.
    Notus Asphodelus thanked this post.

  2. #92

    Speaking as a type 8, these are quite true, the self-help thing is a bit on the obvious side though.

  3. #93

    Quote Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast View Post
    How we can bring out the best in Type Fours
    • When Type Fours are moody or depressed, do not suggest that they ‘snap out of it’. Rather just listen to them, only give gentle advice when they ask for it and accept that this is often how they will experience life.
    Uhh.
    Highly disagree with this advice.

    Re: moody fours - a lot of avg/unhealthy 4s tend to use moodiness as a weapon, something to manipulate others into walking on eggshells because they are self-absorbed and view themselves as a victim. I have done this many times myself (not proud of it) but my mother (a rather fiery sp/sx 1) and my brother (sp/so 8) are very into confronting a problem head-on, which is perfect. They have always called me out on my moodiness (which is really externalized self-absorption - aka assuming the world revolves around you and your emotions, and then using said emotions to force others to behave in a way that suits your ego); being called out helps me become more aware of how I am affecting others, eg. I am not actually a victim, just being bratty. When they call me out, I first get angry/defensive (easier to blame others than self), then emotionally vulnerable/honest/ashamed (which is really what is underneath the anger/defensiveness and moodiness all along). I have noticed this pattern in other 4s as well.

    I don't think you should accept that 'this is often how they will experience life' because this is just bratty behavior of an average/unhealthy 4 and not at all acceptable. also, standing up to a 4 when they're being moody will usually earn their respect (as in my case and in other 4s I know personally) - staying with them afterward while they are emotional and helping them work through it will earn their trust.

    Bottom line - if a 4 is being moody, call them out on their BS and tell them straight-up how their behavior looks and feels to you. If they're angry, too bad; hold your ground. If they cry, stay honest about your opinions/feelings but be gentle, give lots of hugs. Don't leave them before this is resolved. Help them put it into perspective and move forward.

    Re: depressed fours - DEFINITELY don't 'accept that this is often how they will experience life'. I tried to explain to my mom that I was suicidal and for an entire year she thought I was being 'overdramatic' because 4s are often depicted as such.. Please take depression seriously, please do not 'accept it' as just a normal part of someone's personality. If someone is depressed, they need help.
    If by 'depressed' Kingma actually meant 'angsty', then see 'moody fours' above.


    Other than that, everything seemed super accurate in my opinion.


     
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