Enneagram Instinctual Variant & Pair Bonding: Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives - Page 3

Enneagram Instinctual Variant & Pair Bonding: Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives

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This is a discussion on Enneagram Instinctual Variant & Pair Bonding: Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; Definitely sx/sp. The only time I'm super social is when I'm single. (that sounds horrible)....

  1. #21

    Definitely sx/sp. The only time I'm super social is when I'm single. (that sounds horrible).

  2. #22

    Quote Originally Posted by Leonine View Post
    Definitely sx/sp. The only time I'm super social is when I'm single. (that sounds horrible).
    I wish I was sx/sp it would be so much easier to focus on getting that GPA up and getting a job. Unfortunately I'm Sx/SO, which suprised me at first, but then I realized I need to have a strong connection to something to want to do it and its usually after someone says something Passionate or Inspirational that I feel like doing something. I think the So comes from a general love of people, but I feel my So biting at me when I spend time alone for to long because then I feel like people don't like me. Its only when I get out and about with people again that I feel my So again. Also my So is what makes it easy for me to talk to strangers. However SP last is hard because I know what I need in life, but I can get so bored with a goal once the flame is gone, and I know for fact that just isn't the way to do it. Its not until after I've talked with some people who really care that I feel the flame spark again.
    P.S.: Sx= the Flame ;P

  3. #23

    I am sx/so, definitely attracted to so/sx. Dead simple and obvious to me. I do certainly utilize the heck out of <so> to search for love, but how else would you go about it? :-\
    Sonny, MBTI Enthusiast and absylution thanked this post.

  4. #24

    Quote Originally Posted by The Wanderering ______ View Post
    I wish I was sx/sp it would be so much easier to focus on getting that GPA up and getting a job. Unfortunately I'm Sx/SO, which suprised me at first, but then I realized I need to have a strong connection to something to want to do it and its usually after someone says something Passionate or Inspirational that I feel like doing something. I think the So comes from a general love of people, but I feel my So biting at me when I spend time alone for to long because then I feel like people don't like me. Its only when I get out and about with people again that I feel my So again. Also my So is what makes it easy for me to talk to strangers. However SP last is hard because I know what I need in life, but I can get so bored with a goal once the flame is gone, and I know for fact that just isn't the way to do it. Its not until after I've talked with some people who really care that I feel the flame spark again.
    P.S.: Sx= the Flame ;P
    Man, I know exactly how you feel. That struggle definitely defines a solid part of my existence.

  5. #25

    SP/SX/SO here.

    I am not in a relationship. *Alone time = oxygen. *

    I have a hard time setting boundaries i.e. breathing space, cos i want to spend time with the other person and i feel an urgent need to get to know them more and interact with them its a very powerful SO/SX urge.

    Once I secure the relationship, the SO/SX urge quickly and without warning, disappears. *I feel sorry for my boyfriends, but I have to dump them because I lose interest. *When I get my alone time back I feel so relieved. *

    'Retreating to my normal activities that would naturally include my mate' doesnt really work because alone time is my normal activity-so the conflict would come if i married someone who wanted me to go out and do things with them all the time and didnt understand my need for spending lots of time by myself. *I live with my family and it satisfies my need for socializing without being in a relationship
    MBTI Enthusiast and Brooklaughs thanked this post.

  6. #26

    For example, the self preserving subtype considers a mate as an essential need to maintain and insure security. Therefore, when in search of a mate the self-preserving subtype will feel anxiety and suspense until a mate is secured. In order to attract a mate, the self-preserving subtype will shift to their respective sexual instinctual drive to accommodate this fear. Outwardly the self-preserving subtype will behave like the sexual subtype, pay more attention to their desirability and will be sensual or flirtatious. At first, the self-preserving subtype will spend more time one on more with the possible mate. Once the mate is secured, the self-preserving subtype will return to basic routines that ideally would include the mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to issues of security and disrupt their need for inner calm.

  7. #27

    I'm an INFJ Type 5 Self Presever "sp/so/sx"....
    Your main type is Type 5
    Your variant is self pres










    I have to admit that this is pretty bang-on and right about me. However, my idea of being "sexual" to attract men is by getting into better shape....so, I start exercising more...I don't do anything like wear low-cut things...I'm pretty modest and shy. I might go get a manicure and pedicure, too, to be more pleasing and attractive.

    "Self-preserving moves to Sexual
    For example, the self preserving subtype considers a mate as an essential need to maintain and insure security. Therefore, when in search of a mate the self-preserving subtype will feel anxiety and suspense until a mate is secured. In order to attract a mate, the self-preserving subtype will shift to their respective sexual instinctual drive to accommodate this fear. Outwardly the self-preserving subtype will behave like the sexual subtype, pay more attention to their desirability and will be sensual or flirtatious. At first, the self-preserving subtype will spend more time one on more with the possible mate. Once the mate is secured, the self-preserving subtype will return to basic routines that ideally would include the mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to issues of security and disrupt their need for inner calm."



  8. #28

    Lol I know how being an SX/SO feels. When I took a test, I came up as an INTJ 1w2 SX variant, weird combination but quite accurate I'd say.

  9. #29

    As an sx dating an sp, I must say these descriptions are spot on. I have found the sx/sp relationship can be rather complimentary, given our shared instinct to include each other in daily routines, to appreciate each others' efforts, to earnestly enjoy time spent together, and our general disinterest in participating in busy social activities or pomp and circumstance. The main point of deviation seems to be my sx impulsivity and hankering for the occasional thrill violating his sp need for predictable security and calm. I keep him on his toes, he keeps me grounded :)

  10. #30

    I'm a 5 sx/sp, and I can relate to this description. When I was single, I definitely opened myself up to social experiences because it would help me meet a nice guy. When I met my partner, we were part of a group of friends, and when we started dating, I was dismayed that he wanted to date me with other people around. I even complained to my roommate "I don't understand why he wants to invite all these friends to our dates." I liked my partner so much that I went along with his preferred socializing style, but it was not natural for me. I think that's why we've been together so long. He never gets a chance to bore me, because we're different enough to keep it interesting. Also, I do like the entertainment/spectacle of other people and the amusement of parties and shared experiences, even if it isn't my core goal. I also like that he's social because I don't like partners who do not have friends, interests, or goals outside of me. I always keep important relationships, regardless of the man in my life. I like friendly independent men.
    MBTI Enthusiast thanked this post.


     
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