Enneagram Instinctual Variant & Pair Bonding: Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives - Page 2

Enneagram Instinctual Variant & Pair Bonding: Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives

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This is a discussion on Enneagram Instinctual Variant & Pair Bonding: Interrelationship of Instinctual Drives within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; Now I know for 100% I am sx/so I can identify with that variant the most of all....

  1. #11

    Now I know for 100% I am sx/so I can identify with that variant the most of all.

  2. #12

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkrasputin View Post
    Well according to this, it's not encouraged for me to respond. But I will still throw in my two cents anyway.


    This is absolutely 100% true. The social atmosphere is merely my vehicle to secure a mate. Once that's established, you'll hardly see me anymore unless it's about questions to enhance my relationship. The one-on-one relationship is my comfort zone. I only do the social because I have to, especially when I'm on the prowl. Lol.
    I never really thought about it like that but I realize that's exactly what I did.

    But I do feel like the descriptions of the instincts in this sound a bit too stereotypical and simplified.

  3. #13

    I'm sp/so or so/sp (which sounds strangely true)
    The way in which the dominant subtype employs the other two appears to be very specific and predictable.
    Lol xD

    Self-preserving moves to Sexual
    For example, the self preserving subtype considers a mate as an essential need to maintain and insure security. Therefore, when in search of a mate the self-preserving subtype will feel anxiety and suspense until a mate is secured. In order to attract a mate, the self-preserving subtype will shift to their respective sexual instinctual drive to accommodate this fear. Outwardly the self-preserving subtype will behave like the sexual subtype, pay more attention to their desirability and will be sensual or flirtatious. At first, the self-preserving subtype will spend more time one on more with the possible mate. Once the mate is secured, the self-preserving subtype will return to basic routines that ideally would include the mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to issues of security and disrupt their need for inner calm.
    Not, but that was my possibly sp female friend o.O. Remembering my sp/sx times haha xD I'm so bad at sx :(

    Social moves to Self-Preserving
    The social subtype will think in terms more indicative of the self-preserving subtype when selecting a mate. This is very important to insure the desired security that rank and social status can provide. ¬¬ really? social rank and status? The social subtype seeks a mate with a shared social vision and similar values. yes, indeed. I usually pick up the outsiders. At least in terms of friendships. This is necessary to fulfill the desire for a mate that will join them in their activities. Therefore, a secure social position is essential. Much attention is paid to the potential mate's connections, rank and ability to provide financial security. Not This subtype enjoys bringing others together, feeling that 'the more the merrier'. if I were good at it. I would actually bring people together. They are often adept at creating the center stage and often use their home for social events, gatherings and causes. I can imagine myself doing this. I want to live in the city. In a beautiful appartment. Whenever I imagine me there, I usually imagine a reunion with friends talking about our dreams, failures and illusions, drinking wine, chatting, laughing, playing board games, getting drunk and sentimental and having a really good time all together even if we live disappointing lifes. It's night. It's beautiful. It's now and it's memorable. So sweet. :') At first the social subtype will spend more time one on one with the potential mate. My ideal dates are always at his home, just lying there, sharing something purely one on one together. That sounds so to sp Once the mate is in place, the social subtype will return to outside interests, groups and/or activities, ideally, this is with their mate. An area of pain and disappointment for this subtype is when they have a mate that is unwilling to pay attention to their need for people, activities, causes and unwilling to share their interest in others. This is far social for me, excusez-moi
    This is weird. So weird. I want a mate :(

  4. #14

    The sexual to social describes me extremely well. Funnily, I married a social dom, so he thought I was all social when I married him, because I would do things with the group with him. Now I just want to hang out with him when I spend time with him and he's always wanting to include his friends. The areas of pain and disappointment for both of those is definitely the issues we have with each other.

    An aside: I find it odd that all three of these types want to constantly be doing things with their mate. I don't think that's how it is in life, unless you're absurdly codependent.

    @pinkrasputin, so with you on that. I think it's why I was contemplating social for a minute for myself, even though I'm so absolutely not.

    @MBTI Enthusiast, I'm confused about something. So does this mean that a sx/sp would act like a so/sx? And conversely, a so/sx would act like a sp/so?
    pinkrasputin and Bluity thanked this post.

  5. #15

    Quote Originally Posted by brainheart View Post
    @MBTI Enthusiast, I'm confused about something. So does this mean that a sx/sp would act like a so/sx? And conversely, a so/sx would act like a sp/so?
    I don't think so. I think it only accounts for your primary instinct. Thus, sx doms will move to so when searching for a mate, while they still prefer sx in most areas of life.
    sodden thanked this post.

  6. #16

    Quote Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast View Post
    I don't think so. I think it only accounts for your primary instinct. Thus, sx doms will move to so when searching for a mate, while they still prefer sx in most areas of life.

    Oh, okay. I, for some reason, couldn't figure out what you meant by this, but now I get it:

    Do you believe there is a shift in instinctual variants when pursuing love? Any comments from an sx/sp, so/sx, or sp/so? (In those cases you would supposedly shift to your last instinctual variant.) Please share!

  7. #17

    I am definitely SX. It feels like something I would do.

  8. #18

    Still pretty hard to figure this all out for myself, especially since I do identify as Asexual (a valid but yet another controversial orientation to some individuals). Might as well try to figure out how each instinctual variant functions with stuff outside the so called mating game. If anyone can link me to more explanations on the instinctual pair identification, it would be welcome.

  9. #19

    As a So/Sx, I really don't relate to the Social moves to Self-Preserving. I relate more to the Sexual moves to Social, I presume that is because of the Sx-So combination.

    I don't care about "the desired security that rank and social status can provide".
    I don't care about "a shared social vision".
    I don't need a mate to join me in social activities.
    This statement "Much attention is paid to the potential mate's connections, rank and ability to provide financial security" would be more me if everything about it was inverse.
    And I do not "use [my] home for social events, gatherings and causes".

    The only things that I could work with are:
    I do care about similar values, at least as much as needed to be compatible.
    I do tend to spend more time with a potential mate one-on-one than I would otherwise need, and I do want to return to outside interests, groups and/or activities when involved with someone.
    MBTI Enthusiast, tanstaafl28 and SisOfNight thanked this post.

  10. #20

    sp dom here...definedly


     
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