This is a discussion on "The Five Love Languages" Explained within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; Originally Posted by Gingersnaps24 Really helpful! I'm an ENTP and I'm definitely a "Quality Time" person. I wonder if some ...
Now that I think about it...
Me: Most likely INTP, acts of service > quality time > physical touch > gifts > words of affirmation
My mom: Most likely INTJ, physical touch = words of affirmation > quality time > acts of service = gifts
Explains why my mom doesn't always feel loved by me.
Well, at first my love languages were Physical Touch and Quality Time but after dating my Narcissistic ex-it changed to Words of Affirmation and Quality Time. Funny how he shared the same love language of my former...he rarely touched me. lol
I will say finding a partner whose not only romantically compatible with you---and shares the same love language is helpful...I think my Words of Affirmation, PT and QT were pretty close to each other though...
Words of Affirmation tend to be my number one moment until I am fully healed.
Anyone, have a similar experience?
I don't think most people take the test correctly. The correct result comes only if you're imagining getting the things you want to get (words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, whatever) from someone you're attracted to right now in your real life but haven't started dating them yet. All other situations bias the real result.
Quality time and acts of service? Yeah, right. That's the hypothetical thing one would want from a hypothetical person they love... but in real life with a real person - that is if you have a real person - you imagine the situations and you choose words of affirmation or physical touch. If you have to imagine that you like someone, you can't really imagine the emotions, so your answer is biased at best. 'Quality time sounds good, let's choose that, what do I care about physical touch'... Wrong!
I find that hard to believe but people are different.
My point stands. Find a girl/guy you like and want to start dating, and we'll talk again about what you want from them.
I'll admit that I've pretended to have missed people hundreds of times because... it's rude to say no when someone asks if you missed them when they were gone, right?
Also, I don't mind hugs, but I'm very uncomfortable with PDA, so I'd rather my partner keep the hip touching to a minimum at the park if there's anyone around.
My point is that there's no wrong way to feel loved. If I'm aware that my partner shows love through something that I don't normally associate with love, it's my responsibility to understand that and find a good compromise ("I know you're doing this out of love, but could you please wait until we're home?" or my partner might tell me after they've had a bad day "Say you love me. Please. I need to hear that. I don't feel like being hugged right now") if I want the relationship to work.
Last edited by OP; 04-08-2017 at 04:04 PM.
Why not? Cause it's unrealistic. I, too, like it when someone does something for me, but there's a difference between liking something and having something make you feel genuinely loved.
Thanks for this post! I haven't heard of these love languages before but I am sure they can be very helpful in improving the quality of everyone's relationships!