"The Five Love Languages" Explained - Page 44

"The Five Love Languages" Explained

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This is a discussion on "The Five Love Languages" Explained within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; I don't know if I've ever replied to this thread. But I am definitely Quality Time at the top and ...

  1. #431

    I don't know if I've ever replied to this thread. But I am definitely Quality Time at the top and Physical Touch at the bottom. Words of Affirmation is close to the bottom too. I also receive Acts of Service and Gifts well, but not sure how well I give them :(

    Quality Time
    Acts of Service
    Gifts
    Words of Affirmation
    Physical Touch

  2. #432

    How can I find out what love language someone 'speaks' if they don't take the test? Are there signs in behaviour or something that can tell me their love language is quality time or physical touch or whatever? What should I be looking for?

  3. #433

    i think im sentimental, but idk?

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  5. #434

    Words of Affirmation and Quality are my top 2. A good heart to heart one-on-one is perfect!

  6. #435

    Acts of Service - 10
    Quality Time - 9
    Word of Affirmation - 6
    Receiving Gifts - 3
    Physical Touch - 2

  7. #436

    Adult version (this applies to romantic relationships, and I've been single since I graduated from kindergarten):
    Quality Time - 10

    Acts of Service - 9
    Physical Touch - 5
    Gifts - 3
    Words of Affirmation - 3

    Honestly, I show my love for other people by helping them out with small tasks and hugging them, occasionally giving gifts – I'm not inclined to say "I love you" that often. I probably wouldn't be compatible with someone who has words of affirmation at the top of their list (although I like random, funny, non-sentimental texts).

    Ironically, it's quality time that I'm not sure of. I'm really introverted and would usually rather be alone than spend time with someone else, but I'm not sure if it'll be different for a romantic partner.



    Teen version (this applies to relationships with parents, and I'm 17):
    Acts of Service - 9
    Quality Time - 6
    Receiving Gifts - 6
    Words of Affirmation - 6
    Physical Touch - 3

    Lol. Acts of service is accurate, but I think the words of affirmation and physical touch scores should be reversed for this one

  8. #437

    This is a topic I've recently introduced to my family. I think if we talked about it earlier, things might have gone a lot smoother. My grandmother exclusively used gifts to show love to my mom, didn't touch her at all or spend much time with her, and that affected her a lot. My mom was better about showing her affection for us, but sadly my love language preference was the exact opposite of what my grandmother showed my mom, so while she tried to show it in different ways, she defaulted to mothering us like she was mothered. I knew my mom loved me, but I didn't feel loved, and I didn't understand why. It's because my mom was loving me with gifts and words, and my preference being:

    11 Quality Time
    9 Physical Touch
    6 Words of Affirmation
    4 Acts of Service
    0 Receiving Gifts

    really conflicted with that.

    On another note, my sister is actually visibly uncomfortable with physical touch while I hug everybody. It's very odd seeing as we were both hugged and kissed about the same amount.

  9. #438

    Physical touch is by far my #1. I remember with my ex girlfriend that after spending lots of time with her and talking with her and still not being sure how she REALLY felt about me, I became convinced that she liked me when she just suddenly and spontaneously held me in a hug for a good 10 seconds. That is what sealed the deal for me.

    This doesn't mean I'm a raging sex maniac lol. I don't have the personality to make that work anyway...I just mean that physical affection tells me more than anything else.

    Quality time is #2, and it has to be an actual desire to be in my company, but I guess that's why they make a point of calling it "quality" time.

    I feel like all the rest can be faked and therefore mean a lot less to me.

  10. #439

    Quote Originally Posted by SuperfluousNinja View Post
    I feel like all the rest can be faked and therefore mean a lot less to me.
    All of them can be faked easily if you want to bother with it.

  11. #440

    In a way, I don't think I fully have a love language; especially when it comes to receiving it.

    I love quality time, but it doesn't necessarily make me feel loved in & of itself.
    I feel very loved when receiving gifts, but it's not on a "thought that counts" basis, but rather on if that gift represents how well they know me - I want to feel understood, receiving periodic conformation & proof of such (preferably through verbalization).
    Terms of endearment mean nothing to me, as I'm a natural skeptic. I never believe words at face-falue, but accept them, knowing there's approx. 50/50 chance of being false or true.
    I would need to already feel loved to appreciate touch.

    Nothing makes me feel more unloved than; being shown my mind & motives are misunderstood; &/or being in the presence of if I'm not happy, nobody's happy type people, as that shows inconsideration, or unawareness (aka not known/understood) to my depression.
    I've never known or heard of another person sharing in such language. Thus, my efforts to show love unto others are foreign to me, and inevitably not reciprocated - more often then not, since I never receive a loved feeling, I retain little love to express.


    My mother uses the service language. I can barely do much for myself, let alone for anyone else - however, her mind perceives it only as laziness; necessity alone, determines ability (but little kids in Africa need food, that sure doesn't mean they get it). To boot, I see less urgent necessity in many things; I prize efficiency & conservation, which holds no value to her, and no ones' efforts reach her expectation nor the adequacy of her abilities. I like to help, to a degree, but my mind is what I have to offer, not my body; service speakers who shun help of work ethics, will find no consolidation with me. I suspect she's an ISTJ/ISFJ, but I don't yet feel 100% confident in my knowledge of MBTI functions.
    Ultimately, I don't think I nor my mother are capable of feeling fully loved, especially by each other.
    Last edited by PenguinX; 04-05-2017 at 10:26 AM. Reason: Correcting grammatical errors.


     
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