Introverted Feeling as Described by Lenore Thomson

Introverted Feeling as Described by Lenore Thomson

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This is a discussion on Introverted Feeling as Described by Lenore Thomson within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; What does Lenore mean when she says "Introverted Feeling"? (Often abbreviated "Fi") Quasi-defining statements p. 41: "When we use Feeling ...

  1. #1

    Introverted Feeling as Described by Lenore Thomson

    What does Lenore mean when she says "Introverted Feeling"?
    (Often abbreviated "Fi")

    Quasi-defining statements
    p. 41: "When we use Feeling in an Introverted way, it operates as a kind of inner flame--a sense of personal values that may be difficult to explain or express directly but whose character informs our choices and inclinations."
    p. 366: "Introverted Feeling ... encourages a personal relationship to an evolving pattern, a will to gauge the situation by an experiential ideal. For example, if we use Introverted Feeling to make a good spaghetti sauce, we won't follow recipes or measure ingredients. We'll sample the sauce as we're making it, gauging its taste, smell, and texture by their ideal outcome and adjusting for circumstantial variables so the emerging pattern stays on track."
    p. 367: "To invoke Introverted Feeling, we have to know the difference between a good outcome and a bad one--know with our senses, in our bones [on the basis of living, breathing, first-hand experience]."
    p. 370: "Introverted Feeling relies on the inward, right-brain criteria of experience and empathy to mark off decisions that go beyond our roles in society to affect us as human beings. Law and custom, after all, are the lowest common denominator of a defined community. We associate character and humane behavior with the moral imperatives shaped by inner values."
    p. 371: "An inner point of reference, one trained by personal experience. [Bypassing matters of social standing] to focus on the quintessentially human."

    Proposed definition #1
    Introverted Feeling (Fi) is the attitude that everything that is manifest (apparent, observable, described) is the expression of a soul or life force, in terms of which everything ultimately makes sense. Everything that happens is the result of a soul expressing its unique nature.

    From this attitude, each living thing is completely unique, and has unique needs. Every living thing needs to express itself and grow in its unique way. None of this can be put into categories or measurements, at least not without blotting out that utter uniqueness of each living thing. Because we are all living things, even though each of us is unique we can still connect to the life force as it exists in others. From an Fi standpoint, the way to respond to things is in a way that is faithful to that underlying life force.

    Proposed definition #2
    Introverted Feeling (Fi) is the attitude of judging things good or bad based on how they harmonize or clash with a living being's inner essence. That inner essence or soul, and how things in the environment get along with it or conflict with it, is knowable only first-hand--ultimately, only by that soul. It is known by attending to one's own emotions in response to things. What you like is good--for you, not necessarily good for others. What you don't like is bad--for you, not necessarily bad for others. Anything outside your own soul is irrelevant to evaluating anything or choosing your course in life.

    As a language of Ego Orientation
    As a Dominant Function, Fi leads IFPs to live a life based on empathy and harmony between self and others--and/or to see life as a never-ending conflict between souls that are intrinsically different and opposed. ISFPs typically seek out a space in which they can be completely and spontaneously themselves, following their artistic impulses without regard to social expectation or definition of any sort. Some do their best to live life as a soap opera: creating and living out intense drama wherever they go. INFPs typically seek to understand the world in terms of drama, emotion, and people seeking their own unique callings (perhaps Garrison Keillor is a good example of that). Some, like John Gray, attempt to help others understand each other through empathy with each other's differences, and thereby find peace and synergy.

    Developed Fi naturally leads people to favor mercy or forgiveness for people who have done heinous acts--anything from theft to murder to genocide--acts that, under the ordinary laws that make a society manageable (see Extraverted Thinking), would usually merit their imprisonment or execution. From a developed Fi perspective, the criminal is still a living soul, still unique and precious despite whatever he may have done. If we walked in his moccasins for a while, maybe we could see it his way. Without condoning his crimes, maybe we could see how we ourselves could have done the same things under similar circumstances. This use of empathy as one's ultimate anchor of orientation leads to a resolute non-judgementalness. First empathize--find something in your own heart that lets you see how someone could feel and act the way he did--and then you will probably find that you no longer feel hatred or a desire for retribution.

    As a Secondary Function, Fi typically leads EFPs to tune into the unmet needs and callings of others--as an avenue to making a sale, as a way to intuit what would entertain people, as a channel to political gain by demonstrating that you understand people's pain (e.g. Bill Clinton), as a way to chart a course through life based on a calling felt to be unique to them. Sometimes it leads them to sense a higher calling to answer to, a sense that their actions have cosmic meaning by virtue of how they aid or hinder life.

    As a Tertiary Function, Fi typically leads ITJs to retreat into solitary actions that have no constructive worldly effect but are aimed at providing a justification for calling themselves good people. Another example is obsession with the purity of one's soul. For example, being a vegetarian while working at Taco Bell--not out of any great love for animals (the person might hardly know anything about what cows are like), but to be able to say, "Well, at least I never ate any animals." Or engaging in pointless acts of honor, like maintaining super-self-control or "doing one's duty" or going down with the ship. Nothing is gained by going down with the ship; it's a hyper-introverted act aimed at providing a rationalization for one's goodness without regard to real-world consequences. Nearly all of these tertiary-Fi acts involve refraining from action viewed as unethical rather than taking positive action that would accomplish something. They're a retreat from the world--or rather, a rationalization for disregarding worldly matters.

    As an Inferior Function, Fi typically leads ETJs to acts of self-destructive hedonism, creation of opera-like drama in their lives and the lives of those around them, obsession with "integrity" (like going down with the ship), instant and irresponsible abandonment of anything they don't like (the opposite of going down with the ship), and bizarre solitary acts of atonement for the harms they've done to others. Sometimes inferior-Fi leads ETJs to preach and even practice a sort of hyper-selfishness, e.g. Ayn Rand and the Landmark Forum. "I'm doing fine, so why should I give a damn about you?" (Very different from highly developed Fi, which leads you to see all people as connected and the highest joy of life as the experience of that connection.)

    Tertiary and inferior Fi also sometimes lead TJs to view large numbers of people as "troglodytes": soulless or stupid creatures whose rotten situations in life derive only from their own intrinsic rottenness-of-soul. To take a comic example, Lex Luthor's lamentation in Superman, "Why is the world's greatest criminal genius surrounded by nincompoops?"

    Perhaps the most typical manifestation of tertiary and inferior Fi is an attitude of psychologizing other people: a sort of pseudo-empathy in which one explains other people's behavior in terms of pitiful needs and psychological flaws that anyone would be ashamed to have. "Notice the defensiveness. He clings desperately to his ideas. Such weakness." (Nearly all psychological theories offer plenty of ammo for psychologizing, including Lenore Thomson's ideas.) Where developed Fi leads you to find something in your own soul in terms of which to truly understand someone else and see things their way, tertiary and inferior Fi typically lead you to find something in your own soul that you despise, in terms of which you can "explain" them and justify putting them down.
    Naturally, you can see plenty of dominant-style Fi in ETJs, secondary-style Fi in IFPs, and so on--even inferior-style Fi in IFPs.

    Introverted feeling is judgement with an emotional slant that causes the individual to view the object on a Subjective level. It is primarily a silent inaccessible function that is difficult to conceptualize. Therefore, unlike its extraverted counterpart, Extraverted Feeling, it is entirely individualistic, with a leaning toward the mystical. Introverted feeling is generally disconnected with typical external stimuli. Introverted feeling is only concerned with the external to the extent that the object has some relevance to a deep, internal value. Its primary objective is to harmonize ideologies, concepts, relationships etc. with the internal guiding force.

    Whatever the individual values the most will dominate the motivations, goals and chief objectives of the individual. For example, if the primary value is God, then all other values will find themselves inexorably subjugated to this primary one. Often, unbalanced introverted feeling will create in the individual dramatic mood swings and decisions based on illogical rationales. However, at its best, introverted feeling provides a navigational quality that creates in the personality tenacity, idealism, honor, relationship wisdom and a unfaltering value system that is seldom compromised.
    ROBERT BROOKS,INFP

    Introverted feeling is a counterpart to Extroverted thinking, as are all inferior elements to the dominant. Everyone attempts to accomplish the inferior through the dominant. By following first principles and proverbial logic (Te) i.e. literal proverbs, they accomplish being "good"(Fi). Though the elements look different they simply reverse the horse and carriage. An Fi will look at a business tycoon and blame them for the state of the poor. A Te realizes that simply feeling bad for the poor won't accomplish anything, because you can't take emotions to the bank (a common Te proverb) you need to actually DO something. Even if you don't FEEL for them, building a huge corporation and then donating your equity to charity is worth more than a single person volunteering their entire life. For this reason, even though still hated by a generally large amount of people, Bill Gates (textbook ENTJ according to typology forums) is more effective in donating ~$30 billion to build business around the globe for the poor and promoting philanthrocapitalism than an army of Mother Teresa's.

    ENTJ pitifully trying to justify a future life of corporation building, puppy kicking, soul atoning.

    Lenore Thomson demonstrates strongly the quintessential ST personality.

    (Source)

    Discuss!
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  2. #2

    I have encountered some ITJs that use the psychologizing to put opponents down, protecting themselves behind the notion that others are idiots or typist. Also, the "selfishness" of ETJs are prevalent in many ETJs I know very well (incl. brother).

    Te-types are very efficient, even when using the brain they use a very small, simplified, efficient loop. When you exclude a lot of holistic input, like feelings and harmony it is easier to make efficient decisions.

    Fi is still sort of a mystery to me, since it is based on PERSONAL values and you cannot deduce them our anticipate them easily. From my experience, Fi-types are the "most emotionally intense" too, for good or bad. Myself, I have been called "too logical, psychopath, robot, too calm, damage from birth" etc. by Fi users that find my Zen troubling...
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  3. #3

    Wow, had to post on this one!

    These article excerpts speak to me. In 2000, my Fi slowly started rolling in, and as it did, I became aware of my own likes and dislikes and my own values. Becoming a Christian correlated to my understanding that to be true to myself, living my values was paramount. But also, it came with a deep respect for individuality. Even though a few people didn't understand me, and in fact, even sought to undermine my personal and spiritual growth, I slowly began to seek new experiences and friendships that were based on my own values. I also started writing in earnest at that time.

    However, as an extrovert, I was super-aware of the displeasure or disapproval of people who were important to me, so I often disregarded my own needs to make them 'comfortable.'

    In 2008, my Fi kicked in bigtime when a sudden, sharp incident showed me that, for good or for evil, other people lived boldly by their own values every day, even to the point of devastating lives. I had spent 43 extroverted years being focused on others' goals, values, desires, needs and feelings, while feeling more and more lonely and less accomplished. And then add to that, a clear understanding that no matter what you put in, other people influence the outcomes. I felt like my efforts in life had been fruitless.

    Reacting to assuage other's anger, taking counsel from well-meaning friends, backpedaling to try undue damage that others had created in my life, and finally, meeting everyone else where they were, had not helped them grow and it had not helped me because I was stuck. So the Fi questions: What do I believe? What do I want? What do I need? all tumbled through my mind day and night and I became very isolated considering them. This inner reflection has continued to this day and effected relationships to some extent, but I'm ok with that.

    I have a conscious awareness and depth of understanding for people. Each person has his or her own drives, sins, worldview, etc, and has personal desires and growth needed, just as I do. We are each trying to get through life, hoping to find personal joys and to overcome obstacles and setbacks. I test as an INFP at times now and I can see why. My intuiton is stronger than ever and so is my desire to create artistically. I allow myself plenty of time in my inner world. I still bust out as an ENFP, because I like to entertain and lighten things up and I desire harmonious relationships but I care a lot less than I used to, whether people understand me.
    Last edited by Lilsnowy; 07-12-2012 at 08:20 PM.
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  4. #4

    Quote Originally Posted by ENTPreneur View Post
    I have encountered some ITJs that use the psychologizing to put opponents down, protecting themselves behind the notion that others are idiots or typist. Also, the "selfishness" of ETJs are prevalent in many ETJs I know very well (incl. brother).

    Te-types are very efficient, even when using the brain they use a very small, simplified, efficient loop. When you exclude a lot of holistic input, like feelings and harmony it is easier to make efficient decisions.

    Fi is still sort of a mystery to me, since it is based on PERSONAL values and you cannot deduce them our anticipate them easily. From my experience, Fi-types are the "most emotionally intense" too, for good or bad. Myself, I have been called "too logical, psychopath, robot, too calm, damage from birth" etc. by Fi users that find my Zen troubling...
    INFP here.

    Fi is quite baffling to ENTPs, I think. Fi is probably a bit annoying, since you can't even "pick up" on it. Obviously, for a Fi-dom, whatever the nature of the feeling being currently expressed, whether it be extant or masked, is almost immediately perceptible.

    ENTPs hate being slow on the uptake, and are usually resentful that something is passing by in front of them without them realising it. They pride themselves on being able to draw lots of things together, and having such a massive blindspot as Fi annoys them because they cannot draw upon it to add to, modify, or improve their concepts. If an ENTP says something blunt (and they do - frequently), they are usually baffled that someone might be offended. They then become annoyed as if they, as people, have no relation to what they've just said. Therefore, it appears unreasonable and "moody" of the other person to hold them to account for something they said off the cuff.

    To say that Fi-doms are moody is reductive. If you are only noticing the present mood then are you missing the vast majority of real Fi, which takes place in the moments when you aren't looking. That is what it does: it is an introverted function. Fi is operating when other types (particularly extroverts) are bouncing around in conversation, talking over one another. Fi-doms are processing during this time.

    We do not find yours - or anyone's - "Zen" troubling. What we find troubling is the dismissal of Fi's validity. This occurs frequently. It is, ultimately, to the interlocutor's failing. You will never escape Fi. You may think you are being efficient, or rational, or logical but, I tell you, one day everyone has to deal with their Fi.

    If you're an ENTP, you need to deal with identifying what annoys you and why it annoys you. That way you will be more sympathetic to others, and you will attempt to check your "loudmouth with all the great ideas" mood. An ENTP who has learnt about Fi is the ENTP who says to himself "Hang on - I might not say this right now. If I do, everyone might think I'm an arsehole."
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  5. #5

    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    INFP here.

    Fi is quite baffling to ENTPs, I think. Fi is probably a bit annoying, since you can't even "pick up" on it. Obviously, for a Fi-dom, whatever the nature of the feeling being currently expressed, whether it be extant or masked, is almost immediately perceptible.

    ENTPs hate being slow on the uptake, and are usually resentful that something is passing by in front of them without them realising it. They pride themselves on being able to draw lots of things together, and having such a massive blindspot as Fi annoys them because they cannot draw upon it to add to, modify, or improve their concepts. If an ENTP says something blunt (and they do - frequently), they are usually baffled that someone might be offended. They then become annoyed as if they, as people, have no relation to what they've just said. Therefore, it appears unreasonable and "moody" of the other person to hold them to account for something they said off the cuff.

    To say that Fi-doms are moody is reductive. If you are only noticing the present mood then are you missing the vast majority of real Fi, which takes place in the moments when you aren't looking. That is what it does: it is an introverted function. Fi is operating when other types (particularly extroverts) are bouncing around in conversation, talking over one another. Fi-doms are processing during this time.

    We do not find yours - or anyone's - "Zen" troubling. What we find troubling is the dismissal of Fi's validity. This occurs frequently. It is, ultimately, to the interlocutor's failing. You will never escape Fi. You may think you are being efficient, or rational, or logical but, I tell you, one day everyone has to deal with their Fi.

    If you're an ENTP, you need to deal with identifying what annoys you and why it annoys you. That way you will be more sympathetic to others, and you will attempt to check your "loudmouth with all the great ideas" mood. An ENTP who has learnt about Fi is the ENTP who says to himself "Hang on - I might not say this right now. If I do, everyone might think I'm an arsehole."
    Yes, yes, thank you. This puts into words the issues I've had between me and a good ENTP friend of mine. We find each other rather fascinating and interesting and I love comparing views on things - they're so different! But it's also incredibly frustrating for both of us sometimes. I don't get offended at his bluntness anymore, but he was so baffled when I did. Like, I would get really upset and he'd say "What did I do?". It took me awhile to figure out he genuinely did not understand, and wasn't just being an arse. I like to think I've taught him to be more sensitive about Fi-types (I've known him since we were little), but he still doesn't understand it. And you're right - especially when it comes to relationships, he cannot tell me what he actually wants or needs. He just does what everyone around him is doing in regards to that. It never makes him happy or sad, he just does.
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  6. #6

    As you both say, if the ENTP is not aware of his stumblings - do not understand - then I guess he is no asshole? Everyone has blind spots. My criteria of telling if someone is truly unsympathetic is if they do their mean stuff KNOWINGLY.... One should simply do the best with what they have got.

    I think I can be blunt but also very empathetic. I did, and still do, have problems with what I like myself. I have worked on both Fi and Fe, and now I do not just take care of everyone around..... I WANT some stuff too, or else I can skip it.

    My Fi is actually higher than my Fe in cognitive tests... I don't know if I am that blind as you say... It is more like I feel uneasy because you cannot logically anticipate their motifs or next action. If someone acts on the basis of rationality or morality (common) then it is an easier formula to calculate. With some Fi:era, especially unhealthy ones, you never know when something will blow up in your face. They do not seem to share this forgiving trait if there was no bad intentions... Instead they seem to think " you should know better". I am left with having many hypothesis´ but not knowing why/what/how beforehand... I have to go on experience to learn individual behaviors and thought patterns/values... I guess I am no true mindreader....:-)
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  7. #7

    Quote Originally Posted by ENTPreneur View Post
    As you both say, if the ENTP is not aware of his stumblings - do not understand - then I guess he is no asshole? Everyone has blind spots. My criteria of telling if someone is truly unsympathetic is if they do their mean stuff KNOWINGLY.... One should simply do the best with what they have got.

    I think I can be blunt but also very empathetic. I did, and still do, have problems with what I like myself. I have worked on both Fi and Fe, and now I do not just take care of everyone around..... I WANT some stuff too, or else I can skip it.

    My Fi is actually higher than my Fe in cognitive tests... I don't know if I am that blind as you say... It is more like I feel uneasy because you cannot logically anticipate their motifs or next action. If someone acts on the basis of rationality or morality (common) then it is an easier formula to calculate. With some Fi:era, especially unhealthy ones, you never know when something will blow up in your face. They do not seem to share this forgiving trait if there was no bad intentions... Instead they seem to think " you should know better". I am left with having many hypothesis´ but not knowing why/what/how beforehand... I have to go on experience to learn individual behaviors and thought patterns/values... I guess I am no true mindreader....:-)
    No, no, no, no. I'm not at all blaming the ENTP for his misunderstanding! I don't think that's what adasta was trying to say either. I forgive him. It's just that the Fe vs. Fi is definitely a roadbloack in that friendship, and until I understood it, it was pretty awful. Many of those words you listed that Fi accuses you of are words that went through my mind when dealing with him. It just took a lot to understand his actions. It was especially confusing because I think we can be on the same page with our Ne flowing together, but then something happens that definitely isn't.

    Also, my ENTP can be one of the most deeply empathetic people ever, I come close to crying sometimes because of his caring. Fes can certainly reach a depth of empathy I cannot. I have to attempt to understand why I would feel that way through my own lenses. Sometimes I feel like a bad person because my 'empathy' comes from my values being violated in relation to what has been done to the other person, or from an appreciation that their own values have been violated. In addition, I've come to appreciate the bluntness of his kind and have tried to learn to be more straightforward with people.

    I can see how Fi makes you uneasy. Like abasta said, ENTPs hate being slow on the uptake. Have you considered asking Fis about how they feel instead of attempting to anticipate their actions? Maybe once you get more of a sense of what the Fi's core values are, it will be less difficult to guess their reactions to things. It's pretty cause and effect once you know.

    My ENTP seems to be able to handle a lot of people very well... but I manage to surprise him. And it's a bit of a guilty pleasure of mine that I've taken to purposefully befuddling him to some degree in non-consequential situations. I love his reactions, and then I often ask him questions afterward to discover how he interpreted things and such... it's just very fascinating to me. Of course, I do my best to explain myself to him as well and I think he's better able to understand where I'm coming from, though he still can't read me.
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  8. #8

    Quote Originally Posted by ENTPreneur View Post
    As you both say, if the ENTP is not aware of his stumblings - do not understand - then I guess he is no asshole?
    Hahaha.

    "Hey, my argument doesn't make any sense, but that's okay, because I don't even know I'm doing it all wrong!"

    Sadly, you can't go through life coasting on "good intentions". There are only so many times you can say "I didn't mean it like that" before people get tired of your ignorance and start thinking you're an arsehole even if, deep down, you're a really nice guy.

    Quote Originally Posted by ENTPreneur View Post
    I don't know if I am that blind as you say...
    You probably aren't. If you've studied MBTI, you're probably more of aware of Fi than most ENTPs.

    Quote Originally Posted by ENTPreneur View Post
    It is more like I feel uneasy because you cannot logically anticipate their motifs or next action. If someone acts on the basis of rationality or morality (common) then it is an easier formula to calculate.
    There is simply no way you can consider rationality and morality as at all comparable. I understand your intentions here, but predicting people's actions in the near-future based on their behaviour in the moment leaves you at a massive disadvantage. Having said that, this is a big ENxP problem, and it stems from poor Si.

    Quote Originally Posted by ENTPreneur View Post
    With some Fi:era, especially unhealthy ones, you never know when something will blow up in your face. They do not seem to share this forgiving trait if there was no bad intentions... Instead they seem to think " you should know better".
    Yeah that's true. This is the unhealthy aspect though, and I'm glad you've made that distinction.
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  9. #9

    Quote Originally Posted by Adasta View Post
    Sadly, you can't go through life coasting on "good intentions". There are only so many times you can say "I didn't mean it like that" before people get tired of your ignorance and start thinking you're an arsehole even if, deep down, you're a really nice guy.
    I myself have been trying to predict a certain Fi-dominant's reactions before I speak, but I still end up sounding brash. I have no idea how to word things in such a way that wouldn't hurt her. Not all Fi-doms are fragile, but I've had the luck/misfortune of having to deal with a lot of fragile Fi users. I've always done my best to keep encouraging them - usually, we would dream of positive successes in the future; however, I would still point out their flaws without screaming it at them (or doing something I would find out is useless at getting the point across). When I point out the flaws, they break down, even when I point out their strengths and suggest they try to build off of them.

    I realize I tend to be quite blunt, but I've explained numerous times that I'm neither angry nor looking down on them. It's easy to default into that mindset, but with someone that has difficulty expressing his feelings, you'll have to look past the body language at the words actually coming out of his mouth. This is why I've always thought Fi/Fe types would have a lot of difficulty with Ti/Te types - our command of body language tends to be quite bad, and because Fi/Fe-doms normally can't turn their own values on and off at will, they will often judge us Ti/Te types based on how well our analysis fits in to what they feel; body language and the 'apparent' underlying current is usually considered most important to them.

    In order for a Ti/Te user and an Fi/Fe user to work well together, they have to make a lot of compromises, something I see you would be unlikely to do according to this line. It isn't 'ignorance', but rather an inexplicable (at least for now) difficulty in naturally conveying our emotions well, as well as taking into account the emotions of others (we tend to be bad at reading body language and 'tone of voice' as well). Everyone can fall back to a natural tendency, and these are the tendencies of Fi/Fe and Ti/Te when interacting. However, anyone can overcome those tendencies with a bit of work and a lot of patience.
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  10. #10

    Quote Originally Posted by NovaStar View Post
    I myself have been trying to predict a certain Fi-dominant's reactions before I speak, but I still end up sounding brash. I have no idea how to word things in such a way that wouldn't hurt her. Not all Fi-doms are fragile, but I've had the luck/misfortune of having to deal with a lot of fragile Fi users. I've always done my best to keep encouraging them - usually, we would dream of positive successes in the future; however, I would still point out their flaws without screaming it at them (or doing something I would find out is useless at getting the point across). When I point out the flaws, they break down, even when I point out their strengths and suggest they try to build off of them.

    I realize I tend to be quite blunt, but I've explained numerous times that I'm neither angry nor looking down on them. It's easy to default into that mindset, but with someone that has difficulty expressing his feelings, you'll have to look past the body language at the words actually coming out of his mouth. This is why I've always thought Fi/Fe types would have a lot of difficulty with Ti/Te types - our command of body language tends to be quite bad, and because Fi/Fe-doms normally can't turn their own values on and off at will, they will often judge us Ti/Te types based on how well our analysis fits in to what they feel; body language and the 'apparent' underlying current is usually considered most important to them.

    In order for a Ti/Te user and an Fi/Fe user to work well together, they have to make a lot of compromises, something I see you would be unlikely to do according to this line. It isn't 'ignorance', but rather an inexplicable (at least for now) difficulty in naturally conveying our emotions well, as well as taking into account the emotions of others (we tend to be bad at reading body language and 'tone of voice' as well). Everyone can fall back to a natural tendency, and these are the tendencies of Fi/Fe and Ti/Te when interacting. However, anyone can overcome those tendencies with a bit of work and a lot of patience.

    Your Fi-dom friends seem fragile to the extreme! I know I am not as sensitive as many in the forums, but I feel like the INFPs I know around me are stronger than that as well. It'd be interesting to ask them how they feel about an ENTP in particular... hmm....

    One of my best friends is Ti-dom, and we consider each other some of the most sane, trustworthy, and dependable people we know. The Fe vs. Fi thing was a bit of an issue at times, but for the most part she never hurt my feelings; she was always very sensitive, even too sensitive, with me. I think the reason this was is that she always asks questions like "Do you want me to just listen, or would you also like some advice?" Or, "Are you showing me this art because you'd like feedback?" Basically, she never critiques someone unless a person want to hear it, and sometimes people really don't.

    And if they never really want that advice, but you're working with them on a project, maybe sit them down and say something like: "We've had this awesome idea for this project, and I think we've achieved it somewhat, but I think we can do it even better if we make some adjustments to what we've done in this portion..." and then gently explain what would could be improved upon.

    If you're in a situation where you need to intervene on truly unhealthy behavior... well... you're going to have to prepare for tears - they're an unhealthy Fi! But be sure to bring along her Fi-dom friends to help out.

    As for the line that you quoted: I rather agree. It's like if you go around making offensive remarks about people who are vegetarian. You can keep saying; "Oops, I didn't know you were vegetarian!", or you can just stop making offensive remarks when you don't understand the other person yet. I'm not saying Fi-types shouldn't also be understanding of Fe as well; I think everyone should be understanding of others' way of viewing the world in order to get along better.
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