This is a discussion on Type and Marriage: MBTI and Enneagram within the Articles forums, part of the Announcements category; Originally Posted by MBTI Enthusiast Well if she's a 2 or 9, it should work out pretty well. Yeah, I ...
happy to be infj ?
I am INTJ and my husband is ESTJ. We're both opposite and complement each other very well. I can see in him the things I am lacking with myself, and with his attitude, it kinda balances my life. We connect via our Te functions and with our being responsible. About the S/N difference, it's not a hindrance for the growth in me, because he can do things I can't like about the things to fix, technical, cars, sports, etc. But I don't think he grows with my N. I am the planner and the decision-maker, he's the implementor of my ideas, and the sorter if the decision is practical enough to be implemented.
This actually makes sense for me. I really like INTJ and ENTJ types but INTJ's always seem to put me in the friend zone after getting to know me a bit. They say that we're too similar. But even though I'm INFJ, when a guy is an F or a P it irritates me so much because it's like dealing with myself. I feel safe and secure with an NTJ. So ENTJ might just be the best type for me. And I don't know much about enneagrams but I think the pairing of a male 6 or 8 with a female two works for me.
Either an ENFP or an ENFJ with low J would be ideal for me.
I'm pretty sure most people ignored the first bolded statement, consciously or subconsciously.
Bwahaha! Oh dear lord! Thank you for posting this - the study is so accurate it's eerie!
Apparently my ENTP husband of 9 years and I (the INTP wife) are the most typical couple...Check!53 percent of the extravert husbands (but only 39 percent of the introverts) had at least three preferences in common with their wives.Check!Where the man was an extravert, 62 percent of the couples were alike on TF; where he was an introvert, 49 percent were alike. Where husband and wife were both extraverts, the similarity on TF rose to 66 percent.
At this point, having read most of the post, I was already like "OMG WTF, we're a match made in heaven!" but when I read the following, I totally cracked up and laughed out loud:Bwahaha! Yes!Likeness on JP seems to matter mainly to three extravert types: 65 percent of the ENTP and ENFP husbands . . . married perceptive wives; 93 percent of the ESTJ husbands . . . married judging wives. Of the rest of the couples, only 52 percent were alike on JP.
This made me wonder, is there something about dominant Ne - even more so than dominant Se - that makes people strongly prefer stereotypical "P" things and attitudes? For example, my ENTP hubby, who's prone to sterotyping people and things while simultaneously claiming to be open-minded (sorry dear, you're not as open-minded as you think ), attributes J to everything that's wrong with the world: rigidity, being stuck in a rut, black-and-white thinking, bossy behavior, not seeing the big picture... all of this gets labeled "J" in his book!
Also, the thing about ESTJs made sense to me. Of all J types, it isn't hard to imagine ESTJs valuing J-like qualities the most: dominant Te seeks order and structure, and as a Sensor, ESTJ would find it very important to apply order and structure to concrete everyday matters. An ENTJ might be more concerned about the "big picture", that everything works according to his "plan" or "vision", while not caring for the practical details as much as an ESTJ would. Therefore, an ESTJ's "J-ness" would be more clearly visible. Thoughts?Oh dear lord, this too.Likeness on SN is important to all types. The highest rate of likeness, 71 percent, occurred in couples where the wife preferred thinking to feeling.
For a long time, I've been thinking that likeness on S/N is the most important thing about relationships. It's an intuition based on my relationship experiences; I've had no data to back it up. And now you're telling me we Thinking women tend to think like this...
I've noticed that as a strong iNtuitive myself, I get the feeling of "being on the same wavelength" with other N types only, especially NTs. This applies to both romantic and platonic relationships. Of course I have close Sensing friends with whom we have great rapport and mutual understanding, but I've felt "love at first sight" only with fellow NTs.
With love at first sight I mean meeting someone for the first time, talking to them, and literally in a couple minutes feeling an instant mutual connection, like recognizing a kindred soul, and both of us simply knowing we have to meet again. It's happened four times with four people: INTJ and INTx girls who became instant best friends, and ENTP and INTJ guys who became instant lovers. Usually relationships take time to develop, and for me it takes a long time to get close to someone, but in these four instances, the relationship has simply formed by itself with no time and effort, as if we've known each other for years.
True for him.The men most inclined to marry their opposites on EI were the introverts with thinking.True for me. Also seems sort of a given imo that ENxPs would be comfortable with another perciever, and ESTJs men would marry J wives.Likeness on JP seems to matter mainly to three extravert types: 65 percent of the ENTP and ENFP husbands . . . married perceptive wives; 93 percent of the ESTJ husbands . . . married judging wives. Of the rest of the couples, only 52 percent were alike on JP.
The enneagram demographic chart holds pretty true for us too.. I'm 7 and he's 5. But as for the rest of the research, we only share Ti and I personally seem to have a thing for SPs - all my 4 exes (2 male, 2 female) + my best friend are SPs lol
Would it be possible to conduct another survey for same sex or genderqueer couples? Maybe just here on the forums?
Wonder what the differences would be.