Do tell. >_> I wrote this because my PE teacher has this ridiculous policy where, if you miss a day, you write a one page essay. I don't think he even reads them, so I started writting globbledegok, and got pretty into it half way through. Seriously. I spent like an hour on this thing. But I figured that some of you guys could figure my type through my writing style, as I've kinda swayed between INFJ and INTJ. So yeah.
Here it be:
Physical education is the most important thing in the universe. Without physical education, thousands of children of various shapes and sizes would mutate into
hideously deformed, and morbidly obese figures. Then they would die. As they would slowly decay into their own fat, they would cry never-ending tears of pain and resentment for not ever having taken a physical education class.
Timothy Lung was a young child with thick calves. All of Timothy’s peers would point and laugh at his thick calves and throws walnuts and Petri dishes at him. Timothy Lung cried every night. After one particularly degrading round of humiliation, Timothy dug a burrow deep into the ground and stayed there for twenty-seven hours. The next day, he went to his physical education class. He worked endlessly and arduously until his body finally grew in proportion with his thick calves. Out of spite, he used his new power to seek retribution on the other children. He tied their scrawny bodies to the track field and sprinted across them without thinking twice. He laughed gloriously as he treaded hour by hour on their pain. He laughed and he cried. Most of the children were badly bruised, and had had their internal organs torn or displaced. Timothy Lung did not care. Physical education is the most important thing in the world.
Yolanda Little would have died had it not been for physical education. She was sitting at the bus stop one afternoon when she came across a cat that spoke demonic incantations to her through its anus. Yolanda proceeded to pick up this satanic cat, and threw it several blocks past the bus stop and through a thick glass window. The cat did not survive. Yolanda was still displeased with the situation, and spent two weeks searching for the cat’s corpse. When she found it, she shaved off all of its hair, and glued it to a long piece of felt. She then stalked around her neighborhood with her chin high, and her arms low, wearing a schizophrenic-emblem that was an ugly make-shift cat pelt. Physical education is the most important thing in the world.
Neander Schrodenhaldt was a very demented student. He would NOT, under any circumstances engage in physical education activities. When his teachers told him to run he would walk, and when he was told to stretch he would stand blankly like an idiot. The physical education teachers did not like this. They did not like this at all. One afternoon, when Neander Schrodenhaldt was walking instead of running, the physical education teachers stalked silently, patiently under the stadium bleachers. They waited cautiously--brilliantly hidden from site. Their deft predatory skills were so awesome that not even the air could recognize them, and sound deflected off from their slow, careful movements like water dripping from a smooth concrete wall. They anxiously awaited for Neander to fumble--for him to stumble blindly into an area where he could be cornered.. He had not seen or heard them yet (of course), and they drooled slightly at the thought of this easy catch.
A slight shuffle, and Neander turned his ear. He sensed something. He intuitively became nervous, and began to walk faster. Where was this rising fear coming from? Neander did not know, but he could not deny this elusive danger. He began to run. The physical education teachers would not let this chance slip up; they lurched out of their hiding place and wildly dashed after Neander. The boy screamed and soiled himself, but the physical education teachers paid no mind. They would catch this prey. And so as he ran, they hotly pursued. As they had so intelligibly planned, the teachers dispersed strategically across the field, and cornered Neander into a high brick wall. They stared hungrily. He shrieked for mercy. He demanded mercy--he had done nothing wrong. It was funny; for despite his ugly cries, the physical education teachers slowly closed in and smothered Neander with an stone, chilling silence. And that was that.
Physical education is the most important thing in the world.
There is a fine line between a dedicated P.E. teacher and a raving sadist.