Hi, I am going through a quite bizarre situation right now and I need help. First off I am 18 years old and am currently living under my parents roof awaiting college. (their making me go to a nearby college so I cant leave) The peculiar situation happens to be that my father has a personality disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder or NPD to go along with his alcoholic tendencies and whatever else may be layered under there. (I don't want to find out) I cannot even begin to tell you what its like to live in the same house with him. Its like a constant emotional oppression (it sounds lame and fake here, but wait until you experience it) and talking to him is like talking to a really dumb 6 year old. Ive seen my mom suffering my entire life being with him, and I can see her literally blanking out certain things that he says as a way to cope with the relationship and it makes me sad. Well long story short (there are a lot more shitty things that go along with NPD but I dont feel like having a pitty party so im going to get to the point now) NPD suffererrs like to cut off their family from all of their loved ones as a way for the family to focus completely on them, and this is exactly what he did. After cheating on my mother in Michigan (not the first time either) he said he needed to go away from michigan to Texas because he needed to leave all the ignorant people that live there behind. (He never admitted to cheating) So we moved to Texas because he cheated, and we were forced to up and leave our extended family, friends, (a girl I really liked!!!) and schools for no reason. Now that were in Texas weve found out in the first month that hes already started cheating again so my Mom cant take it and wants to move back. So I decided to fill my mom in on his disorder while she was in a rational state (let me tell you she acts like a crazy irrational psychopath when hes around) Now shes going to divorce him after we gather enough funds and move back to Michigan in a few months.(He made her use her retirement fund to move even though she didnt want to, but she thought maybe it would help their marriage)
Now here is my question, from stories Ive heard about his father it sounds like he had NPD too. So I have been freaking out thinking I am going to get NPD and this is a scarier thought then me dying or something. I could never let myself be as hateful or uncaring towards my loved ones as him and if I did I dont know what Id do. Id rather be dead. So Ive been going on a sort of mental cleansing, and trying to fix any psychological hiccups I may have. Ive had these urges to literally get rid of every physical thing I own and to just help people. (This would be the exact opposite of the narcissist) Any advice on how I can stay mentally aware and "clean" (I guess you would say) Would be most helpful because I dont know what the hell im supposed to do. I dont have anyone in the vicinity to talk to about it either. I feel like Im going mad thinking about this, so any help would be amazing.
(also I wasnt sure if this went in general psychology or here so... if its in the wrong spot sorry)