My boyfriend's dog hates me, I'm afraid of it.

My boyfriend's dog hates me, I'm afraid of it.

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This is a discussion on My boyfriend's dog hates me, I'm afraid of it. within the Advice Center forums, part of the The Cafe Lounge category; Alrighty, so my boyfriend lives in a house with a shit ton of people and one of them (I have ...

  1. #1

    My boyfriend's dog hates me, I'm afraid of it.

    Alrighty, so my boyfriend lives in a house with a shit ton of people and one of them (I have no idea who) got a puppy from the pound or something recently. This dog has a problem with women in general, and growls (I mean serious growling, eyes locked on me and can't be distracted by anything) every time I walk in the same room as it. Being afraid of dogs in general myself, this makes me pretty scared, and while I don't physically freak out (I generally just get out of the room as soon as possible) that seems to teach the dog that there's a valid reason to hate me. (Dog logic: If she wasn't breaking into the house why would she be scared of me?)
    The dog's still kind of a puppy right now, so it's not too scary, but I have a feeling that I should get friendly with him pretty soon before he grows into a dog who, as he is not trained well, I could see hurting me.


    So, bottom line is, how do I get acquainted with a dog I'm afraid of who seriously has never stopped growling at me without getting bit?
    dizzygirl thanked this post.



  2. #2

    Quote Originally Posted by amplexicaule View Post
    Alrighty, so my boyfriend lives in a house with a shit ton of people and one of them (I have no idea who) got a puppy from the pound or something recently. This dog has a problem with women in general, and growls (I mean serious growling, eyes locked on me and can't be distracted by anything) every time I walk in the same room as it. Being afraid of dogs in general myself, this makes me pretty scared, and while I don't physically freak out (I generally just get out of the room as soon as possible) that seems to teach the dog that there's a valid reason to hate me. (Dog logic: If she wasn't breaking into the house why would she be scared of me?)
    The dog's still kind of a puppy right now, so it's not too scary, but I have a feeling that I should get friendly with him pretty soon before he grows into a dog who, as he is not trained well, I could see hurting me.


    So, bottom line is, how do I get acquainted with a dog I'm afraid of who seriously has never stopped growling at me without getting bit?
    Ever hear of the humane society? Or of Animal Control? These would be your last resort of course, but just keep them in mind.

    now, list time!!

    1) Find a dog toy, one it already has preferably, and preferably a tug rope. Get it to bite one end, and you bite the other end. As it growls, you growl back. Also note, if the dog is wagging it's tail, you're likely safe. Playing with the dog will let it get use to you being there, and tell it not to worry about you.

    2) FETCH! (basically the second toy type)

    3) "No need to be like that!" Smile and pick it up and pet it, and when it growls "Ooh, scary!" and still smile. If it tries to bite at you, hand around its mouth, keep it shut, but don't do more than that and say "No!" this would be the first instance you give it an angry face. Remember, if it tries to run, give chase, catch it, but treat it well. Your goal is to teach it something of proper behaviour, even if the proper owner will not.

    4) If you are holding it, do not drop it, do not squeeze it. if it struggles, hold on to it, remember that dropping it is bad. so if you are unsure, nearby couch always helps.

    Anyway, is what I can help you with, good luck!!

  3. #3

    @amplexicaule Dogs can sense fear. Actually they can smell any of your emotions for that matter and thus make for such good companions. The puppy must not have had a good past maybe that's why it gets defensive, scared and protective of itself.
    It thinks it might get hit by you.
    What breed is it?

    I think you should start by trying to pet it. Concentrate on it with love and just walk ahead confidently and pet it. Some dogs take a lot of time before they let you pet them...but this one is still a puppy so you have a very good chance of getting through faster. Go with a toy too preferably. Bond with the pup. Dogs are lovely and wouldn't hurt you without a cause.
    And just so that you are prepared for the worst, a puppy's bite isn't really as bad as a dog's or even a cat's for that matter.
    Trust it and let it trust you.
    Give it a shot and start by trying to pet it. Don't hesitate in your actions and like @ShadowComet mentioned, smile. Be happy and positive and shove your fears back coz the dog will absorb what you feel :)
    i hope this helps!
    fourtines and R136a1 thanked this post.

  4. #4

    I totally disagree with people saying that you should walk right up while it's seething and pet it. If he really does think you'll harm him, you'll get bit so fast you won't know what bit you. And unless it was just weaned or it was a little Maltese, they can easily do some damage.

    Actually, it may be good to know - what is the breed? Temperaments vary wildly.

    I have a Chow Chow - they can be very guarded, protective and unfriendly to strangers. And strong-willed. An ex boyfriend of mine got bitten, because just like with you, he didn't like him.

    My dog (Grinch) gave him all the warnings - growling, staring, fur raised (which, for a Chow Chow, is quite a disturbing sight), and baring teeth.

    My boyfriend tried to ignore all that ("OMG look at his fur spiked out he looks SO FLUFFY") and fearlessly walked up to Grinch to pet him, and...my bf ended up having to go to the ER. I warned him.

    Grinch tends to either be aloof to strangers, or in some cases, territorial and suspicious. But I tell them to just ignore him and just don't go near him. Eventually, Grinch realizes that the person is not a threat and comes around. Then I can safely introduce them, and then Grinch tolerates them.

    You probably have a similar scent/appearance/posture as whomever wronged the dog.

    So unless you want to look like your avatar, don't foist yourself. Ask your boyfriend to formally introduce you, and then you can offer him a treat and let him sniff you, and make his acquaintance.

    fourtines, Dumaresq, Luke and 1 others thanked this post.

  5. #5

    My parents had a yard with two obnoxious asshole rottweilers who would intimidate people or jump on them.. well it didn't scare me but mostly pissed me off and they could sense that. I ended up being the only one they respected because they knew I wouldn't hesitate to pop them in the mouth. I am not advocating animal abuse, but if the animals abusing you then it needs to know its place. I can not fucking stand when people have a dog that they allow to be nasty with someone. The people who own it need to discipline it. Unlike most domestic pets, a dog can actually harm or even kill a human being, so more attention needs to be given by the owners to making it behave. But yeah, the thing about fear is true, and if you show you're dominant they will respect you. With the rottweilers, all I had to do was raise my hand and say -down- and they wouldn't dare jump on me like they would everyone else.
    fourtines, Dumaresq and Naqsh thanked this post.

  6. #6

    Here is my take on the situation. Go in, be seated. When the dog approaches you, lower your hand below and in front of the dog's face, and allow it to come to you. DO NOT reach over the dogs head as that is seen by dogs as an attempt to dominate the dog. Let the dog smell the back of your hand. Give him time, and be still. Then, assuming the dog has gotten his sniff of you, he should be a bit more at ease. When the dog loosens up, then retrieve from your purse a doggie treat (preferably of the type he is used to, as if you give him the wrong kind he may not eat it). That should convince the dog that you are a good 'un.
    Good luck.
    Digger Blue
    R136a1 thanked this post.

  7. #7

    Learn to be dominant. Dogs understand domination and confidence, they're hierchy pack animals, it's as simple as that.

    The more you act afraid of a dog, the more likely it is to bite you.
    Promethea and Naqsh thanked this post.

  8. #8

    It depends on the type/breed and the temperament of the dog; usually one can form bonding by frequently feeding and spending time with the dog. First step is of course not to be scared of the dog and genuinely like the dog. Setting aside time each day to pet/play with the puppy now most likely will enable you to train him once he grows old. Talk to the dog; use different tone levels to praise/correct his behavior. Dog muzzle can assist if the dog is likely to bite, however, since he is still a puppy, it might not be necessary.You can just train him that biting isn't an acceptable behavior-give him a toy/food treat for example. It might take some time for the dog to adjust though.

  9. #9

    Figure out whose dog it actually is (if not your boyfriend) and ask them if they can help you bond with it. Sometimes a guiding hand from the owner helps. For example, my mom's dog has a sort of uneven temperament, and will growl and pace around nervously with new people. But after she tells him no and sort of guides him into accepting petting or treats from the person, he stops the bad behavior.

    If it becomes a bigger problem though, or doesn't get better, don't be afraid to speak up. Sometimes bad owners need a kick in the ass. I know it came from the pound and probably had that issue before, but it's still the responsibility of whoever picked up the dog to train it properly.

  10. #10

    contrary to what dagnytaggart understood i said, i am repeating myself when i say take your time in approaching the dog. Petting isn't a one minute affair. :|
    Trust is necessary and not all dogs will respond well to dominance.
    Ceser Millan isn't the only type of dog whisperer one should follow!!
    Just follow your heart...and if you are too scared and don't want to face the pup(which doesnt seem like it since you posted here and seems like you want to try) you could stop going over to his place much!
    R136a1 thanked this post.


 
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