I've grown up being quite the worry-wart. As a child I had an active imagination . Therefore, would assume whenever Mom was out on errands she'd end up tragically dead. My grandma, uncle, and pretty much everyone around me got sick of my constant worrying.
It hasn't really stopped. Actually it's peaked but more specifically towards my social surroundings. This has been a prevalent problem for me in school--especially so after I had been bullied for the first time in the 6th grade. I am now a 10th grader and find myself suffering from panic attacks in school. I'm pretty outgoing but when it looks like a group of girls are staring at me--gosh I just can't help but wonder if it's negative. And what I hate the most about this is that I feel like the most shallow piece of crap in the world. I should be concerned about school and my friends, but I worry. And at times I feel so alienated around the cliques I'm with. The jocks are too noisy, the girls are too catty, everywhere I go I feel like I can blend it because of my versatility but also can't find the right footing. Because I can change shapes, I don't know what my exact social standing is. Due to this, I worry. I worry that the person I'm with is on the wrong social standing, because of me maybe? Am I on the wrong standing because of him? Because of my friends? Reading what I'm typing only leaves me in all the more shame. :\ I honestly can't express this enough to my friends...they don't necessarily understand. Most may say it's the "teenage apprehensive stage," but does it sound like it could be something more? >.< I'd hate to be diagnosed. Thanks!!