Sorry, I was just not sure where to post it, but I guess I need some advice.
I just want to get this off my chest... it would be great if someone could help me. Otherwise, I'd be just happy to confess my problems with no judgement. Since it is the judgement that seems to be stressing me out most.
I'm quiet a laid back person, easy to get along with, true, a bit aloof, but otherwise I am good natured, enough, and I don't mean harm. However I have a tendency to transfer into a darker side of me, a side that gets anxious over small things that I wouldn't mostly worry about, over worry about stupid things or even would avoid social gatherings to the point of avoiding school just because there is a fear there that I would be judged as someone stupid or pathetic, as I always believe I come across as.
Especially recently, even if I succeed in having many hours sleep when I wake up I'd be still sleepy, still low in energy which leaves me a bit miserable, and it makes my anxiety go up higher.
Before recent this only happened rarely and if it did I could hide it easily so it wouldn't have to annoy other's in my "moody teenager" act (Though I truly do hate that term, since it is not fully correct).
However I'm finding it harder to cover the more and more I feel anxious. It isn't even stress anymore- just a fear of anything and everything that one could fear, especially people, especially school, especially the future. Though I have no suicidal thoughts I still am fearful of how I would die, if it would hurt much, what would happen afterwards... in which I also fear of saying out loud, just in case people mistake me as someone suicidal when I, myself, not to mind anyone else's influence, would never, since I have seen what the effects of suicide have over others and I would feel rather guilty if I did die that I caused more pain then happiness.
But, anyway, if anxiety isn't enough recently I've been getting more angrier, more easier to snap then usual in which most people are just mistaking for womenly problems or "moody teenager" again. Most don't even see it, which I am grateful for, since even now I am worried I am being over dramatic over this all and that I shouldn't be ranting about it.
It would be nice if anyone had advice... even if it just small. Even if it isn't advice- as I said earlier I'm just glad I got this off my chest.
Though there is another problem- I actually don't know the main problem of this all. True, there is certain things that pop into my mind when I get fearful, but otherwise why I do this is unknown to me, since, as I said, I rarely let this self of myself take so much control of my life.
Thank you very much for listening.