Why should I live?

I'm wondering.

I've seen some other people here who feel suicidal at times... but I don't feel I can just give up.. even though I have this overwhelming premonition that I will die young anyway, by being poor and freezing to death, starving, getting sick, or just being some crazy homeless lady pushing a shopping cart around until whatever.

And it's like... it doesn't really even scare me... it's just something that really reallllllly sucks and I'd rather not have happen. But some times I just wish it would be over with... I'm tired of feeling like I'm hanging on the whim of fate all the time. I just never know what shitty thing will happen next and I can't seem to run out of things to lose....

hmmm

maybe start actively living a life; to me, your post sounds as though you go through it all quite passively; believing things happen to you rather than resulting from any action you did or did not take. things that really really suck makes one feel, whether you want to or not, perhaps you see death as a lack of feeling ... don't know you enough to say.

your username makes me smile ... sprinkles ... like on a cupcake? or a hotfudge sunday? ... or more like a spritzing rain on a hot day?

ultimately, noone can make you want to live ... or to feel for that matter. it does really really suck when you lose things that are meaningful to you. sometimes it really really sucks when what is meaningful to you is right there in front of you and you can't allow yourself to experience joy at its being.

don't know what else to say. read your post and connected with your words. i hope you find your spark sprinkles.

Why? Because we're probably going to hit The Singularity in about 40 years, you don't want to miss that :O

Funny I view this after feeling profound panic/sadness over the concept of death. I was just thinking how one day I'll die, one day I'll be near. I saw myself at 60 or 70, knowing it's close, the end of all experiences. No feeling, no thought, only an eternal nothing. Tell me, how can you say this is good: a state which is completely inane. Absolutely nothing! Even if your life is terrible, I can't imagine this being a better substitute.

You become nothing, trapped in [ ] forever. While I'm out of it, I'll do all I can, because I know it's temporary. The reason I do is that there's possibility. I can act and create variety instead of having no choice or will at all. I want to eat ice cream at the seaside, explore a forest at night with friends and see my baby in the arms of my lover, our baby.

If you destroy you, you destroy possibility, and this is more worse than anything. It makes me so sad. I'm emotional right now, so I'm speaking directly from my heart. Please just endure and persist. Time's a while, thriving with chance, but death is forver, encompassing solely a hollow confinement.

Originally Posted by sprinkles

I'm wondering.

I've seen some other people here who feel suicidal at times... but I don't feel I can just give up.. even though I have this overwhelming premonition that I will die young anyway, by being poor and freezing to death, starving, getting sick, or just being some crazy homeless lady pushing a shopping cart around until whatever.

And it's like... it doesn't really even scare me... it's just something that really reallllllly sucks and I'd rather not have happen. But some times I just wish it would be over with... I'm tired of feeling like I'm hanging on the whim of fate all the time. I just never know what shitty thing will happen next and I can't seem to run out of things to lose....

Pascals Wager?

I have nothing to do with my life at the moment, apart from seeing family and the boyfriend, and to be honest I feel I have nothing to give to the world, but I wouldn't kill myself over it, because you never know what changes will come in the years. Not that you can regert killing yourself because to be honest you are dead, and don't think at all, so... but just don't kill yourself unless you are suffering in some third world country, extremely poor, or very ill.
Well you shouldn't kill yourself then, but you should get my point, you are better off than most people will ever be.

Because at the end of your life, everything you love gets destroyed.

I've felt suicidal, but my Pness always saves me. I can't stand thinking about that kind of closure or finality for very long. I can imagine an end to pain, but that is through fantasies about something positive happening to change the situation, even if the fantasy must be about something impossible, like living in another kind of world where everything is ideal. There is no way to undo suicide if it turns out to be the wrong choice, so instead of taking that leap, I always find other extreme options. Even running away to a new town to be homeless would be an adventure, offering new possibilities and new perspectives. Dying wouldn't bring relief, because I wouldn't be alive to feel the relief. ...but what if I happen to meet new friends wherever I end up? What if everything changes this time, and my loneliness will be eased eventually? What if all of my needs will be met, and all I need is a little more patience? My hope is very strong. When my hope dies, I will die with it. Until then, I will keep finding new options.

I think everyone feels suicidal at times.
Happy times come and go and so do shitty ones.
Like I said to the other guy: you'll die soon enough -- what's the rush??

Why? because, no matter what your premonitions are, you can't see into the future. You don't know who you may meet along the way to the end of your life, or what you might do. There may be people who's lives will be changed forever just by meeting you. You may even be destined for greatness, but if you cut it short you'll just be wasted potential.

There is a song (the title of which is excaping me at the moment) which has the line "every breath is a second chance". Even if you end up on the bottom, there will always be a chance to get back up as long as you are still breathing.